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Women Respect Only One Thing: Assholes
It's a phrase that is thrown around constantly, especially in Your Professor's direction: "You have to respect women!" Oh really? What exactly does that even mean?
- Put up with their shit? You know, like when they say one thing and then contradict it 20 seconds later? Or when they expect you to pay for anything and everything while telling you that they expect to be treated equally? Or when they lie about being on birth control and then later, when they get pregnant, want to know if you'll be "man enough to step up?"
- Do what they tell you? Like when to take out the garbage or who you can be friends with? How late you can stay out without checking in with Headquarters? What you should wear and what is wrong with what you are wearing?
- Listen to them bitch? Pay attention to their complaining about what you do and how you are and where you go? Complaining about what magazines you read or what websites you visit? How many people are trying like hell to finish this sentence only to have to her some bitch shrieking, "How long are you going to be playing with your computer?"
- Always correctly guess what is bothering them and then find a way to fix it? Accept responsibility for things you never did just to shut them the **** up? Remember every anniversary of everything that ever happened? Your first date? Your first ****? The day you two signed up with Netflix? To breezily accept the consequences of forgetting such "special days?"
- To accept that you are always, always, always wrong? And that you're a piece of shit?
Is that what women mean by saying that they "need to be respected?"
Stop worrying about respecting women. Women don't want to be respected. They want to be taken. They love being treated like shit and they come back for it time and time again.
Remember those nights that some chick kept you up late telling you about what an asshole her ex-boyfriend was? There's one thing that asshole got that you have never gotten and may never get: her pussy! Over and over! Hundreds if not thousands of times! "He was such a rude bastard. Such an asshole! And, as a result, the next time I am having sex is on my wedding night!" That's been youlistening to that bullshit late at night at least once, hasn't it? Hoping that she will respect you enough to let you be her next boyfriend one day? And going home with blue balls? Yep, that has been you!
Are your parents divorced? Never forget that your mother told That Asshole (your father) that she was spreading her legs and it was time to stick it in, and not to worry about condoms because you "can't get pregnant" after just one time unprotected. In most cases in America, you are here only because your mom couldn't get enough sex from an asshole. Haven't you ever made the connection?
It is time for you to be the asshole women complain about to the next poor guy, and not to end up being the poor guy who has to hear about the previous asshole. When chicks threaten to tell their friends about you, just remember: it pays to advertise! Who's a bigger, more well-known asshole than Your Professor?
Time reach inside to find your inner asshole and stop worrying about being "more respectful to women." And never forget: your divorced Mom is on Match.com right now tarting herself up so she can find the NEXT asshole..
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Originally Posted by Smoke
