[Swinging Johnson]

Now here's a thread that will plummet to the depths of the SBR ocean in no time flat but hey, I've heard many weird questions asked at Players Talk unrelated to gambling, so I figured I'd try.

I've written a 55,000 word manuscript (fictional novel) and am looking to talk to someone legit about it getting published. Yes, it's a bit light by today's standards in terms of volume but it more than makes up for it in quality (Humility, thy name is Swinging Johnson). It could be a great screenplay as well but then again, every author believes that of his book.

If you have any input, please post here, otherwise, we can watch this thread sink like the Titanic.

[PingPong]

lol i'll help keep it on page one for a few more minutes. what is it about?

[DeeWizzle]

You need to submit it to the Iibrary of congress U.S. Copyright Office 1st.

They wiII send you a certificate of registration with a registration number.

Once you receive that you can pubIish your work with that registration number at a number of pIaces. ( I use ASCAP )

Then your materiaI is protected and you need to find a distributor.

[shari91]

If you can somehow get it to me without my having to download it, I'll take a look. If it's good - as in screenplay material, or even somewhat good so we can work with it, it'll get to who it needs to get to on my end.

If it's not screenplay material but may be book material, I will help you sort that out as well.

This is my last good deed for the decade.

[gregm]

Actually, buying the "2010 novel and short story writers market' used on amazon or the 2011 "writers market" or the "2011 guide to literary agents" would be a great investments before you start sending query letters. Most publishers will not take unsolicited submissions so you will be wasting your money just sending it in.

If you want any help figuring out how to make a good query letter or want the names of some good contests to enter, pm me and I will talk to you about it. If its a screenplay you are after, it needs to be formatted correctly, final draft is some good software for formatting but there are others.

cheers

[shari91]

Actually greg, the screenplay doesn't need to be formatted at all although that is obviously desirable to make it easier on the eyes of the poor readers who have to wade through hundreds of scripts a week. So we push that, but it's not 100% accurate.

However, it does have to be engaging, have proper arcs, have a one page or less description of who you're targeting and where you see the story heading (after it's polished). Believe me - we've taken junk ass scripts that looked like they were put together by a dyslexic on a Commodore. We've also bought a stapled together compilation of cocktail napkins, complete with olive juice stains.

Get the story right, or at least flesh out the ideas somewhat and be willing to cede total control to someone more professional than you, and you're half way there.

[Swinging Johnson]

Are you kdding me? This is great stuff! In PT of all places! Ok, yes Deewizzle, I did get it copyrighted just to protect myself but technically intellectual property is considered copyrighted the moment you create it. But try and prove it...that's why I got it copyrighted.

Query letters are everything, this I know.

Lastly, Shari, fantastic. Very nice of you to assist. I can send it in a file via email if you'd like? I truly appreciate you taking a peek. Let me know how to email you and I will be profoundly in your debt.

[excel]

*note to self shari is bigtime

[Swinging Johnson]

*note to self shari is bigtime

She is the shnizzle my bizzle.

[Dirty Sanchez]

Just don't use "Swinging Johnson" as the writer of the book...could draw the wrong crowd

[Swinging Johnson]

Just don't use "Swinging Johnson" as the writer of the book...could draw the wrong crowd

Listen, my mother named me this and dammit, I will not shrink (yes I did say shrink) in the face of public ridicule.

[infamousbacardi]

Definitely a great idea to get it copyrighted, despite any talk of intellectual property rights. I've read way too many cases in my Copyright Law course in law school to think it's a good idea to not get something copyrighted when you have the chance.

If you have done that, you made a wise decision! Best of luck w/ the hard work you've done!! Hope it works out well for you.

Cheers

[Swinging Johnson]

Definitely a great idea to get it copyrighted, despite any talk of intellectual property rights. I've read way too many cases in my Copyright Law course in law school to think it's a good idea to not get something copyrighted when you have the chance.

If you have done that, you made a wise decision! Best of luck w/ the hard work you've done!! Hope it works out well for you.

Cheers

Thank you for the astute commentary and kind words.

[opie1988]

I would greatly appreciate a cameo in the film adaptation.

[Swinging Johnson]

I would greatly appreciate a cameo in the film adaptation.

A cameo?! You humble bastard. DeNiro walks in your fukkin shadow.

[gregm]

Actually greg, the screenplay doesn't need to be formatted at all although that is obviously desirable to make it easier on the eyes of the poor readers who have to wade through hundreds of scripts a week. So we push that, but it's not 100% accurate.

However, it does have to be engaging, have proper arcs, have a one page or less description of who you're targeting and where you see the story heading (after it's polished). Believe me - we've taken junk ass scripts that looked like they were put together by a dyslexic on a Commodore. We've also bought a stapled together compilation of cocktail napkins, complete with olive juice stains.

Get the story right, or at least flesh out the ideas somewhat and be willing to cede total control to someone more professional than you, and you're half way there.

Interesting info Shari, thanks. It sounds like you work in the film industry. I always heard everything had to be formatted a certain way, cardstock covers, brads, no wga registration or copyright on title page,etc. One thing I learned is those books on writing tips are outdated like a year after they are written, everything changes in publishing so quickly with the increasing domination of the internet.

Good luck johnson ,you are lucky shari is offering to read it, there is a funny onion story about a guy leaving his "erotic thriller" around at work for people to read it. http://www.theonion.com/articles/ero...ce-print,1187/ at least you didn't have to resort to that. LOL

I want to read this on my ipad or see the film soon johnson! Good luck and keep us up to date on your progress.

[gregm]

Listen, my mother named me this and dammit, I will not shrink (yes I did say shrink) in the face of public ridicule.

these is a funny ad from the 70s johnson motor boats put out. called "you and your johnson" I am sure you have seen this before though. LOL

[Cap dat 4ss]

If you can somehow get it to me without my having to download it, I'll take a look. If it's good - as in screenplay material, or even somewhat good so we can work with it, it'll get to who it needs to get to on my end. If it's not screenplay material but may be book material, I will help you sort that out as well. This is my last good deed for the decade.

THis is hot.

[Swinging Johnson]

Interesting info Shari, thanks. It sounds like you work in the film industry. I always heard everything had to be formatted a certain way, cardstock covers, brads, no wga registration or copyright on title page,etc. One thing I learned is those books on writing tips are outdated like a year after they are written, everything changes in publishing so quickly with the increasing domination of the internet.

Good luck johnson ,you are lucky shari is offering to read it, there is a funny onion story about a guy leaving his "erotic thriller" around at work for people to read it. http://www.theonion.com/articles/ero...ce-print,1187/ at least you didn't have to resort to that. LOL

I want to read this on my ipad or see the film soon johnson! Good luck and keep us up to date on your progress.

Thanks buddy. I honestly thought this would get no play whatsoever at Players Talk. I'm astonished and humbled. Greg, anytime you want to read the manuscript, let me know brother.

[gregm]

I definitely want to hear how this goes my friend and good luck with everything and I would love to read it whenever you want me to. That is fantastic Shari is going to read it, she sounds like she is very knowledgeable.

And remember , even if the feedback is not as positive as you hoped at sharis company or whoever you submit it to, there are so many ways to market books,films and music nowadays. My friend self published their short story and I bought it and read it on my ipad.

In terms of films ,there are tons of sites out there, even Amazon has as studio site now with some great contests and ways to submit your novella and script http://studios.amazon.com/ . A great site

Coppolas company Zoetrope http://www.all-story.com/ has a really great magazine for short stories with film possibilities. I read it whenever it comes out, and I think they have contests as well for short novels,novellas, short scripts and stories. Good luck and stay in touch

[harlee71]

Depends what you are trying to do with the book Do you want a career out of writing or just a book published. You can always start out by sending out query's.

You can start by looking for a lit agent, check out preditors & editors when looking. Also google them for Absolute Write links.

If your already sending agents queries, Query Tracker is a good source.

[harlee71]

And always remember not to pay for anything when looking for an agent.

A literary agent only gets paid when you get an advance. There IS NO expense. They represent you and work out your contract when you get one.

Follow Yog's Law... money flows TO the author, not FROM the author.

[sickler]

If you can somehow get it to me without my having to download it, I'll take a look. If it's good - as in screenplay material, or even somewhat good so we can work with it, it'll get to who it needs to get to on my end.

If it's not screenplay material but may be book material, I will help you sort that out as well.

This is my last good deed for the decade.

wow nice deed

[Swinging Johnson]

And always remember not to pay for anything when looking for an agent. A literary agent only gets paid when you get an advance. There IS NO expense. They represent you and work out your contract when you get one. Follow Yog's Law... money flows TO the author, not FROM the author.

Excellent advice Harlee, and I learned this early on. There are charlatans out there looking for "reading fees" and promising they will contact a publishing house after they cash the check.

Have you written a book yourself? Been published? Enquiring minds want to know?

[WvGambler]

Can I be the rapist, if there is a movie made? If there is no rapist, I could also play priest or gas station attendant.

[WvGambler]

Or daycare provider.

[opie1988]

Excellent advice Harlee, and I learned this early on. There are charlatans out there looking for "reading fees" and promising they will contact a publishing house after they cash the check.

Have you written a book yourself? Been published? Enquiring minds want to know?

Good one, SJ!

Harlee worked as a trustee in the prison library for 6 years. Granted...it was a minimum-security gig in Georgia, but he still was on lockdown from 7pm - 7am! He dreamed of writing his "prison memoirs"....so he used "lights out" time to educate himself.

By the way....I still call bullshit on that whole deal, Harlee. I believe you when you say she was "free to go whenever she wanted."

[Swinging Johnson]

Good one, SJ!

Harlee worked as a trustee in the prison library for 6 years. Granted...it was a minimum-security gig in Georgia, but he still was on lockdown from 7pm - 7am! He dreamed of writing his "prison memoirs"....so he used "lights out" time to educate himself.

By the way....I still call bullshit on that whole deal, Harlee. I believe you when you say she was "free to go whenever she wanted."

[Swinging Johnson]

Can I be the rapist, if there is a movie made? If there is no rapist, I could also play priest or gas station attendant.

Wv...I'd just hire you to be the eye candy.

[mrmarket]

Good Luck SJ. I have a screenplay I'm shopping around too at the moment.

It's called

Fat Jersey Shore

Cast:
Snickers
The Coronary
Tonnie
Hammie
DJ Frenchy Fry
Dinna
Angina
Bigfatso
Hoho

2 story house on boardwalk 1st floor stairs blocked by sign that reads inaccessible - NIGHT

Dinna, Bigfatso,Angina, Hoho lay dead on the floor. DJ Frenchy Fry,Snickers, Hammie and The Coronary stand around a kitchen island. House music blares throughout the house. Tonnie dances amongst the bodies in living room his body fat rippling in a hypnotizing motion.

Tonnie(exuberant): It's deessert time!

The Coronary(exuberant): Yeah buddy!

Hammie (angered): Tonnie you don't get me at all. All you care about is your stupid pizza. You won't even give me a slice.

Tonnie(enraged): Come at me bro!

Hammie(concerned): I'm over here you idiot stop talking to the box of donuts

Tonnie breathes hard his eyes narrowing and tears streaming down his face
Tonnie (concerned): I'm blind. Damn you diabetes.
Tonnie collapses on the ground clutching his chest.

Hammie (frightened): Tonnie!
Hammie ambles towards a collapsed Tonnie but gets stuck between the fridge and the kitchen island
Hammie (crying hysterically): You have my pack of twinkies in your pocket Tonnie! They are going to be crushed!

The Coronary(sleazy): How's about I crush you tonight baby?

Snickers(erotic): You can crush me any time

The Coronary(disgusted): Listen you round maple glazed keebler elf stay away from me

Snicker(angry): Nobody would touch you anyway you pig

Hammie(intrigued): What's this about a pig?

Snickers rolls seductively towards Bigfatso
Snickers (erotic): Bigfatso your unit is huge. What type of pacemaker is that?
Bigfatso (dead): ....
Snickers (erotic): I love you gorillas.You make me so wet. How about I spread two glazed hams with a cream cheese center on you.
Snickers difficulty bends down and straddles the corpse of Bigfatso and commences grinding him.

The noise of rubbing thighs is heard. Soon smoke starts to rise from the corpse of Bigfatso and he spontaneously combusts lighting snickers on fire too.

The Coronary (laughing): You give a new meaning to thunder thighs baby.

Dj French Fry (stroking): ahhh gaaa brooa haha dj frn fry!

The Coronary(smiling): Hey what time is it you think i should bring out the pizza hut whistle bro?
The Coronary grabs a red worn whistle and begins blowing but is soon out of breath.

The sounds of sirens can be heard in the background. Hammie continues struggling from her position near the fridge.

DJ Frenchy Fry: Am-bu-lance is heree!

*SCENE*