A bloke was talking to his mate in the bar, and said he wanted to take out a contract on his wife. 'Don't worry', said his mate, 'My friend Artie will do it for $1'. The guy spoke to Artie, gave him a detailed description of his wife and said she always went shopping in Walmart's on Thursday morning.

Thursday dawned and Artie was on watch in the car park. As soon as he saw the lady in question he followed her into the shop and strangled her in the fresh fish aisle. A member of staff witnessed the strangling and was about to raise the alarm, so Artie strangled her too. He fled, but was arrested in the car park.

The headline in the local paper the next day was....

Wait for it....

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Artie Chokes Two for $1 in Walmart's.