1. 05-08-14 04:12 PM #1
    Auto Donk
    Diggity man the fort, I'm outta here!
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    Tony Montana, Deluxe Doom Switch, Fck SBullshitR, and other fun things......

    Over the past two to three weeks, I'd generally taken SBullshitR's bad beats and suckouts in the daily tournaments in stride, and hadn't resorted to whining and bitching in the poker forum. KK beat by jsix, no post.... AK losing to ace rag over and over -- not a peep. QQ smashed by 55, no town crier to be heard. It's gotten so bad that the only chance I had to run deep in this rigged bullshit was when SBullshitR's site was malfuncitoning so badly earlier this week that the doom switch didn't work, and i actually won one of the daily donkfests!

    But today's bad beat bullshit deluxe had me feeling a bit like everyone's favorite political prisoner from Cuba -- correctly pronounced Koo-Buh -- Tony Montana (yes, he of the scarred-face variety who once asked a federal agent "How am I gonna get a scar like that eating pussy?"), in that famous chainsaw scene where Tony's about to get his f'n head sawed off with a chainsaw by Hector the Toad..... As I was dealt AA with 19 players left, and raised 3xbb, I could already hear the chainsaw revving up. QQ decides now's a good time to throw it all in, and of course KK decides to immediately shove over the top of qq's bet, bringing it back around to me to call these two all-in preflop moves. By now, I can feel the chain saw starting to tease my flesh with the heat of its grinding blade.......

    Channelling Mr. Montana, all I could muster to say as the flop started to come down and that lesbian rolled out, was, to quote Tony, as follows: "SBR, why don't you try sticking your doomswitch up your ass?!?!? See if it fits....."

    Unfortunately for me, Manolo wasn't downstairs picking up pussy and thereafter coming to the rescue with a machine gun to shoot up SBullshitR's crooked poker operation, so my fckin' head was sawed off....... 66% favorite donked by a 15% dog..... So..... SBR, incase you didn't hear me the first time:

    WHY DON'T YOU TRY STICKING YOUR DOOMSWITCH UP YOUR MOTHERFKCING ASS?!?!?!? SEE IF IT FITS!!!!
    Last edited by Auto Donk; 05-09-14 at 12:19 PM. Reason: "FFuccckkkk Youuuuu!!!!" -- Tony Montana circa 1983
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  2. 05-08-14 05:05 PM #2
    Auto Donk
    Diggity man the fort, I'm outta here!
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    ps....

    ps... and FFUCCKKK THE FFUUCCKKING DIAZ BROTHERS!

    Almost forgot to put that in....

    and, anyone who can enlighten me on posting a video on here, the help would be appreciated..... a quick "how to" so I can post that chainsaw scene will fully enable all to see how I feel when playing poker on SBR!
    Last edited by Auto Donk; 05-08-14 at 05:22 PM. Reason: "I bury those ccoockk-a-roaches!!!"
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  3. 05-08-14 05:38 PM #3
    Auto Donk
    Diggity man the fort, I'm outta here!
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    I think I got this shit wired now.....

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  4. 05-08-14 05:42 PM #4
    Auto Donk
    Diggity man the fort, I'm outta here!
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    and now the conclusion of this epic scene, very comparable to playing the game they call "poker" on sbr, but which has no resemblance whatsoever to real texas holdem.....

    Last edited by Auto Donk; 05-08-14 at 05:52 PM. Reason: note killerdemo at the end in the richard simmons shorts!!!
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  5. 05-08-14 06:14 PM #5
    deltgen
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    I don't play poker here, so I don't know the context of the post, but it is one of the funniest posts I've seen in a long time. Well done, Donk.
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  6. 05-08-14 06:24 PM #6
    blankoblanco
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    AD, you got a 1st place 2 days ago, rule is you gotta wait at least a week to bitch
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  7. 05-09-14 02:55 PM #7
    pavyracer
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    The rule is if you make a 1000 word post about SBR Poker on how bad you lose they let you win.
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  8. 05-09-14 04:32 PM #8
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by pavyracer View Post
    The rule is if you make a 1000 word post about SBR Poker on how bad you lose they let you win.
    does mine qualify? if I know my luck, it'll be 998 words........ at least i got to watch some awesome scarface footage tho...... "I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.".... Tony Montana circa 1983
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