1. #1
    Auto Donk
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    sbr daily bad beat m-fn bullshit revisited

    I really should have just kept updating the "daily crock of bullshit badbeat sbr deals out" thread, but it would have just been a daily waste of five minutes, of me whining and bitching about yet another fckin 80-20 dog sucking out, aces cracked, etc. etc. etc. (plus i'm too lazy to go find the mother fcking thread)

    But, after about five straight additional days of this horseshit that sbr has the ballz to represent as "random" poker, I can't stop myself..... throw me a fckin box of tampons, please, grab a brew, and hear me out..... each of these from the "sbr bullshit daily crock of shit lose your shit trnys" and the weekend "hi roller horseshit trnys" over the past consecutive days.....

    today, my ak has the stupidity to call two preflop shoves in front of me..... I know if I call, I'm gonna lose no matter what, but morbid curiosity gets the best of me...... turn em up..... jacks and kq are my opponents. I know every one of u mother fckers already knows which hand is gonna win..... it's "piece of shit sbr poker," so it's obvious mother fckin kq is the dominant hand under sbr's theory of having a "randomizer" in effect. yah... fckin right..... kq wins with a pair of q's!

    day before, shog rau and his "running hotter than a mother fcker" status on sbr know's his ace nine has to be good on sbr's bullshit agenda, so he tosses it all in preflop with that shit in middle position (clearly a great move by sbr's best poker player)..... my ak on the button usually looks stout in any REAL POKER trny against his bs ace rag holding, but,,,,, remember,.... this is BULLSHIT SBR..... so of course I, again out of morbid curiosity on how i will lose against a hand I know will be far inferior to mine upon flippin em over, call....... a9 v ak..... all of you know who wins this fckin hand..... not me..... out again....

    day before that.... ah yoiu know what ..... fck it, same ol story, etc etc etc..... another 80-20 fckstick dog beats me out..... same thing the day before that, and before that......

    penetrate SBR AND ITS FCKING P O S POKER PROGRAM...... HAHAHAHAHAH..... GOTTA LOVE IT..... BITCHING ABOUT PENNY penetrating POKER AND PIZZA COUPONS! I feel better now after ranting, ie, whining, ie, crying like a little boy bitch.... hand me a fckin tampon..... and a brew!

    G L ALL!!!!

    with all sincerity and a big bloody gaping vagina, and much love,

    AD

  2. #2
    JAKEPEAVY21
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    cliff notes?

    my KK got cracked by 66 today
    Points Awarded:

    Auto Donk gave JAKEPEAVY21 120 Betpoint(s) for this post.


  3. #3
    blankoblanco
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    Cliffnotes: he mad

  4. #4
    ShogunRua
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    day before, shog rau and his "running hotter than a mother fcker" status on sbr know's his ace nine has to be good on sbr's bullshit agenda, so he tosses it all in preflop with that shit in middle position (clearly a great move by sbr's best poker player)..... my ak on the button usually looks stout in any REAL POKER trny against his bs ace rag holding, but,,,,, remember,.... this is BULLSHIT SBR..... so of course I, again out of morbid curiosity on how i will lose against a hand I know will be far inferior to mine upon flippin em over, call....... a9 v ak..... all of you know who wins this fckin hand..... not me..... out again....
    I had like 6 blinds man. Should i fold there?

    What about the week before when your kq took out my aq? You went on to win that one, remember?

  5. #5
    daneblazer
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    Play enough hands and you're going to get a bad beat. It's called odds

  6. #6
    JAKEPEAVY21
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    you crack me up donker..your rants are priceless

  7. #7
    greenhippo
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    Donker good peoples

  8. #8
    Auto Donk
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    ur right shograu, that trny, where i kq'd ur aq, which i wqon with ease, i had drawn the black programmed win bean, such that I steamrolled you and every other person with ease rolling up that victory..... just further backs up my theory that the site is far from randomly dealt poker..... nice run lately, by the way.....

  9. #9
    jtoler
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    Here's the problem automatic donkey, and its the problem with most gamblers in any game, sport, etc. You never recall the times your 80/20 wins, its a far gone distant memory, mostly because you won less than what you lost with it and its sketched in your brain. Im willing to bet that 1 on 1 youve won with AK pre against a worse hand at a much higher percentage. When youre going against more than 1 person expect to win less and lose more.

  10. #10
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtoler View Post
    Here's the problem automatic donkey, and its the problem with most gamblers in any game, sport, etc. You never recall the times your 80/20 wins, its a far gone distant memory, mostly because you won less than what you lost with it and its sketched in your brain. Im willing to bet that 1 on 1 youve won with AK pre against a worse hand at a much higher percentage. When youre going against more than 1 person expect to win less and lose more.
    toler ur absolutely full of shit.... i have won 80-20 penetrating dogs on this site six penetrating times. SIX, MOHTERFCKER, SIX!!!!!!!! IN 8 MONTHS OF PLAYING THIS penetrating CESSPOOL.... SIX!!!!!!!!!! MOTHER FUC KER, SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIX MOTHERFCKING TIMES, MOTHER CKER...... NOW GET YOUR MOTHER penetrating ASS OUTTA MY FACE BEFORE I COME KICK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. #11
    jtoler
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    I said nothing about your 80/20 dog, Im talking when youre an 80/20 fav.

  12. #12
    ShogunRua
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    ur right shograu, that trny, where i kq'd ur aq, which i wqon with ease, i had drawn the black programmed win bean, such that I steamrolled you and every other person with ease rolling up that victory..... just further backs up my theory that the site is far from randomly dealt poker..... nice run lately, by the way.....

  13. #13
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtoler View Post
    I said nothing about your 80/20 dog, Im talking when youre an 80/20 fav.
    like FreakShow in Harold & Kumar go to White Castle, "MY MISTAKE"!

  14. #14
    daneblazer
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    Anyone ever run about -1700bb with kings over the course of about 75 hands? I'm about ready to join AD's and Pavy's side

    Last edited by daneblazer; 02-26-14 at 09:27 PM.

  15. #15
    mpaschal34
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    Shitt....I just wish I had time to play poker...work is kicking my ass.

  16. #16
    Optional
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    I accept most things, but this one sucked donkey ass!


    ***** Hand history (v1.2) *****
    Hand ID 4066254
    $0 + $10 Texas Hold'em (No Limit) - 15:28:02 04/03/2014 ET
    Table 'Table 52734', 10 seats max, Real money
    Seat 7 is the button. Small Blind $50, Big Blind $100
    Note: seat IDs range from 1 to 10
    Seat 1 (playing) : Kindred, amount $1840, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
    Seat 2 (playing) : shane, amount $2775, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
    Seat 3 (playing) : laz, amount $1484, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
    Seat 4 (playing) : zjohnzzz, amount $1535, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
    Seat 5 (playing) : wikkidinsane, amount $2007, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
    Seat 7 (playing) : Optional, amount $1125, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
    Seat 8 (playing) : oneunder, amount $2074, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
    Seat 9 (playing) : OTL, amount $715, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
    Seat 10 (playing) : particioc, amount $1840, amount bet $0, penalty (None)
    oneunder: Small Blind ($50)
    OTL: Big Blind ($100)
    ** Dealing Down Cards **
    Dealt to Optional: [Ac, Qc]
    particioc: Fold
    Kindred: Fold
    shane: Fold
    laz: Fold
    zjohnzzz: Fold
    wikkidinsane: Raise ($300)
    Optional: Call [btn] ($300)
    oneunder: Fold
    OTL: Raise ($715)
    wikkidinsane: Raise ($2007)
    Optional: Call [btn] ($825)
    wikkidinsane: Show Cards ($0)
    Optional: Show Cards ($0)
    OTL: Show Cards ($0)
    ** Dealing Flop **
    Community cards: [Kd, 5d, 2d]
    ** Dealing Turn **
    Community cards: [Jd]
    ** Dealing River **
    Community cards: [8c]
    ** End Round **
    ** Evaluate **
    OTL: Show Cards ($0)
    wikkidinsane: Show Cards ($0)
    Optional: Show Cards ($0)
    ** Showdown **
    Main pot $2195, Rake $0
    Side pot #1 $820, Rake $0
    Side pot #2 $882, Rake $0
    Summary wikkidinsane: bet $2307, won $3897, net $1590, HoleCards [Ad, 7c], HiHand [a flush, ace high] [Ad, Kd, Jd, 5d, 2d], won $2195 from main pot, won $820 from side pot #1, won $882 from side pot #2
    Summary Optional: bet $1125, won $0, net $-1125
    Summary OTL: bet $815, won $0, net $-815

  17. #17
    shevabets
    GEROSKIPOU B'TCH
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    Please, donk, post more of these. Pure entertainment.

  18. #18
    RonPaul2008
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    Chech out this SBR Poker bead beat in the 1st hand of the last tournament today..

    I had qq (one is a spade) preflop, raise to 100 - 1 person calls.

    Flop 9 and 3 of spades, and one other low card.

    I bet 200, other guy calls.

    Turn is 6 of spades.

    I bet 400, other player raises all in and I call.

    Other player has 10, 7 (no spades) and pulls a fuckin' 8 on river for inside straight.

    Moron gets runner, runner inside straight (no pairs) and actually thought he played it well.

    Guy still busts out in 34th place.
    Last edited by RonPaul2008; 03-04-14 at 10:57 PM.
    Nomination(s):
    This post was nominated 1 time . To view the nominated thread please click here. People who nominated: Auto Donk

  19. #19
    Conan
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    too bad you don't know how to recall a hand 6 was son the flop and there was another caller pre flop

  20. #20
    SharkAA
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    Yup, bunch of bad beats on SBR Poker. Got coolered about 5 or 6 tournies in a row and the whole thing is very suspicious.

  21. #21
    bobbywaves
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    Who is this funny guy (lolguy999), going all in with 2,4 off? I assume some non pro pt vacuum.


    ***** Hand history (v1.2) ***** Hand ID 4133681 $0 + $10 Texas Hold'em (No Limit) - 19:41:00 31/03/2014 ET Table 'Table 53332', 10 seats max, Real money Seat 8 is the button. Small Blind $75, Big Blind $150 Note: seat IDs range from 1 to 10 Seat 1 (playing) : ledsep26, amount $2493, amount bet $0, penalty (None) Seat 2 (playing) : dogkatcher, amount $1845, amount bet $0, penalty (None) Seat 3 (playing) : lolguy999, amount $3609, amount bet $0, penalty (None) Seat 4 (playing) : stevenash, amount $2897, amount bet $0, penalty (None) Seat 5 (playing) : ShogunRua, amount $1760, amount bet $0, penalty (None) Seat 7 (playing) : bobbywaves, amount $1113, amount bet $0, penalty (None) Seat 8 (playing) : MillerTime99, amount $2633, amount bet $0, penalty (None) Seat 9 (playing) : blackbart, amount $2335, amount bet $0, penalty (None) blackbart: Small Blind ($75) ledsep26: Big Blind ($150) ** Dealing Down Cards ** Dealt to bobbywaves: [Jc, Js] dogkatcher: Call ($150) lolguy999: Raise ($3609) stevenash: Fold ShogunRua: Call ($1760) bobbywaves: Call [btn] ($1113) MillerTime99: Fold blackbart: Fold ledsep26: Fold dogkatcher: Fold lolguy999: Show Cards ($0) ShogunRua: Show Cards ($0) bobbywaves: Show Cards ($0) ** Dealing Flop ** Community cards: [6h, Jh, 5d] ** Dealing Turn ** Community cards: [3h] ** Dealing River ** Community cards: [Ad] ** End Round ** ** Evaluate ** lolguy999: Show Cards ($0) ShogunRua: Show Cards ($0) bobbywaves: Show Cards ($0) ** Showdown ** Main pot $3714, Rake $0 Side pot #1 $1294, Rake $0 Side pot #2 $1849, Rake $0 Summary lolguy999: bet $3609, won $6857, net $3248, HoleCards [4h, 2s], HiHand [a straight, two to six] [6h, 5d, 4h, 3h, 2s], won $3714 from main pot, won $1294 from side pot #1, won $1849 from side pot #2 Summary ShogunRua: bet $1760, won $0, net $-1760 Summary bobbywaves: bet $1113, won $0, net $-1113

  22. #22
    daneblazer
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    I sit down for a nice relaxing SBR Poker tournament. I need some run good as I have a legit chance to go deep in the Triathlon.

    As soon as the tournament begins, my 7 month old absolutely murders a diaper. Like class 5 blowout seeping through his outfit. I go to change him and take the laptop with me. The kid is beyond repair. It's bath time. I look over to my laptop and notice there's been a raise and a shove and I have about 2 seconds left to call with aces. I can't reach it in time. Fold aces preflop

    It's bath time...cleaning up the kid and notice I have queens. Nothing I can do as I see time ticking away and get folded again. At this point the kid is pissed, I'm pissed, wifes pissed, everyone's pissed. I steam jam middle pair and get called as I'm knocked out by quads for the 2nd day in a row.

    Yay for rungood

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