1. #1
    Bcatswin
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    J. Palmer Threatens To Leave

    Hahahaha

    Jordan Palmer threatens to retire if Carson is not traded

    CINCINNATI, OH - In a show of solidarity, backup quarterback Jordan Palmer has announced that he will retire from professional football if the Bengals do not trade his brother Carson. The threat sent shock waves through the Cincinnati sports world and the Bengals front office.

    “Let it be known that I am drawing a line in the sand,” said Jordan Palmer. “Trade my brother, or I am going to shut down my illustrious NFL career and focus 100% of my efforts on my phenomenal internet sensation RunPee.com.” Jordan then said that any and all questions should be directed to his agent, as soon as he hires one.

    The Bengals have announced that they do not plan on honoring Carson Palmer’s demand to be traded. It is not known how they will respond now that the future of their franchise back-up quarterback is part of the equation. Bengal fans were also shocked by the news. “I know this organization has its problems,” said fan Tony Parsons. “But I thought we could count on the consistency of seeing Jordan Palmer holding a clip board on the sidelines every Sunday for years to come. I’m not sure I will renew my season tickets if Jordan retires.”

    When asked if he would like to be traded to the same team as his brother, Jordan responded that is not his intention at all. “Nope, I just want to support Carson in his quest to leave. I will do whatever the team wants me to do. I promise to throw interceptions for touchdowns just as good as he did, and I can pretend to eat a John Morrell hot dog just as well too.”

    Jordan said he consulted with Cooper Manning before deciding to take a stand in support of his brother. "Cooper told me he would withdraw from next year's NFL draft if it would help either of his brothers, Eli or Peyton, in their contract discussions."

  2. #2
    brooks85
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    i knew he would get his plug for runpee in there

  3. #3
    ouman101
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    What a fuking joke. Get rid of both of the Palmers. They are both bums. Carson needs to find a new scapegoat for all of his picks besides the Bengals coaching staff and the organization. Were they the reason you over threw your receivers all year Carson?

  4. #4
    YorkHunt
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    Carson would be good her in SF

  5. #5
    Dirty Sanchez
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    Yeah I'm sure that's a huge impact on the Bungles and their future

  6. #6
    Bcatswin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirty Sanchez View Post
    Yeah I'm sure that's a huge impact on the Bungles and their future
    Nope not at all just freaking hilarious...

  7. #7
    TWEETS
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    So well known that I've never heard of him

  8. #8
    Mattn3236
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    Palmer is the most over rated QB in the league. Since knee surgery name one thing the guy has done to show he is a winner.

  9. #9
    ttwarrior1
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    hasselback to minnesota, palmer to seatle

  10. #10
    B1GER1C828
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    you show em jordan!

  11. #11
    jjgold
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    Carson is a loser


    He is main reason why Cincy is horrible

    Just cut him and let another team lose with him

  12. #12
    Bcatswin
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    Carson is a loser


    He is main reason why Cincy is horrible

    Just cut him and let another team lose with him
    Thank you jj that was refreshing

  13. #13
    PorkyPig
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    please jordan don't do it man!

  14. #14
    knelson
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    I might have to stop watching the NFL if jordan retires...

  15. #15
    richyrich8478
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    Let him leave. What a cry baby

  16. #16
    robmpink
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bcatswin View Post
    Hahahaha

    Jordan Palmer threatens to retire if Carson is not traded

    CINCINNATI, OH - In a show of solidarity, backup quarterback Jordan Palmer has announced that he will retire from professional football if the Bengals do not trade his brother Carson. The threat sent shock waves through the Cincinnati sports world and the Bengals front office.

    “Let it be known that I am drawing a line in the sand,” said Jordan Palmer. “Trade my brother, or I am going to shut down my illustrious NFL career and focus 100% of my efforts on my phenomenal internet sensation RunPee.com.” Jordan then said that any and all questions should be directed to his agent, as soon as he hires one.

    The Bengals have announced that they do not plan on honoring Carson Palmer’s demand to be traded. It is not known how they will respond now that the future of their franchise back-up quarterback is part of the equation. Bengal fans were also shocked by the news. “I know this organization has its problems,” said fan Tony Parsons. “But I thought we could count on the consistency of seeing Jordan Palmer holding a clip board on the sidelines every Sunday for years to come. I’m not sure I will renew my season tickets if Jordan retires.”

    When asked if he would like to be traded to the same team as his brother, Jordan responded that is not his intention at all. “Nope, I just want to support Carson in his quest to leave. I will do whatever the team wants me to do. I promise to throw interceptions for touchdowns just as good as he did, and I can pretend to eat a John Morrell hot dog just as well too.”Jordan said he consulted with Cooper Manning before deciding to take a stand in support of his brother. "Cooper told me he would withdraw from next year's NFL draft if it would help either of his brothers, Eli or Peyton, in their contract discussions."
    This was really said? Is this a joke?

  17. #17
    MoneyM1ke
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    Is this from the Onion news site?

  18. #18
    jnickell100
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    Are you all to stupid to see this is a joke. Its an obvious ploy to get traffic to the website that was stated.

  19. #19
    CROANT
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    sounds like Onion material to me...

  20. #20
    FreeHainsworth
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    LMAO

  21. #21
    mr.kush
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    is this for real?

  22. #22
    DrStale
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    Funniest thing about this is the people who think that this article is real. Man some people are dumb.

  23. #23
    stealthyburrito
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrStale View Post
    Funniest thing about this is the people who think that this article is real. Man some people are dumb.
    the whole retiring and runpee is real, the reactions probably not.

  24. #24
    TT77
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    If Jordan Palmer retires I'm never watching NFL again... wait who the **** is Jordan Palmer

  25. #25
    Hotdiggity11
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    Sounds Oniontastic lol.

  26. #26
    chelle0113
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    if the bengals get rid of the palmers maybe they would have a better chance!

  27. #27
    xxxvince
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    no way bengals will trade palmer.. they picked up num 1 and he is still good

  28. #28
    brooks85
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    well back to news that is actually relevant.

    Carson got his way apparently, after 10 seasons the bengals finally fired their OC Bratkowski.

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