1. 07-07-08 02:28 AM #71
    betplom
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    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
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  2. 07-07-08 02:29 AM #72
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    When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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  3. 07-07-08 02:30 AM #73
    betplom
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    Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and shats them out transformed into a robot.
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  4. 07-08-08 05:32 PM #74
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    Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
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  5. 07-08-08 05:42 PM #75
    seaborneq
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    You had a good time last night/early morning. Some of those were real good.
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  6. 07-08-08 06:55 PM #76
    BrentCrude
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    I would like to see him give Tyson a round house kick to the jewels.I still think Tyson would be the worlds greatest and most dangerous fighter if he's enraged.
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  7. 07-12-08 01:03 PM #77
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    "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits."
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  8. 08-01-08 12:15 AM #78
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    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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  9. 08-01-08 12:16 AM #79
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    Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
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  10. 08-01-08 12:18 AM #80
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    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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  11. 08-01-08 12:38 AM #81
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    They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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  12. 08-01-08 12:45 AM #82
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    Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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  13. 08-01-08 12:48 AM #83
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    The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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  14. 08-01-08 12:52 AM #84
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    When Chuck Norris has sex with men, it is not because he is gay, but because he has ran out of women.
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  15. 08-01-08 12:56 AM #85
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    Chuck Norris can touch ** Hammer.
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  16. 08-01-08 01:09 AM #86
    rm18
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    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
    Last edited by SBR Jonelyn; 01-27-15 at 03:27 PM.
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  17. 08-01-08 01:27 AM #87
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    If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fυck down.
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  18. 08-01-08 01:29 AM #88
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    Chuck Norris once challanged Lance Armstring in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won... by five.
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  19. 08-01-08 10:40 AM #89
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    Chuck Norris can beat the Sun in a staring contest.
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  20. 08-05-08 10:57 PM #90
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    Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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  21. 08-05-08 11:06 PM #91
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    Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives.
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  22. 08-05-08 11:08 PM #92
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  23. 08-06-08 03:27 PM #93
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    Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
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  24. 08-06-08 11:14 PM #94
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    If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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  25. 08-06-08 11:15 PM #95
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    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
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  26. 09-11-08 12:16 PM #96
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    Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
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  27. 09-11-08 12:30 PM #97
    JRS21386
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    The Great Wall of China was built to keep Chuck Norris out... It failed miserably...
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  28. 10-10-08 01:05 AM #98
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    Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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  29. 10-10-08 01:46 AM #99
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    Wow. The fire one is ridiculously funny. Wow.
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  30. 11-11-08 12:06 AM #100
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    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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  31. 11-11-08 12:07 AM #101
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    Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Indian.
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  32. 11-11-08 12:16 AM #102
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    Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
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  33. 11-11-08 12:22 AM #103
    betplom
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    Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
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  34. 11-11-08 12:32 AM #104
    tacomax
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    Chuck Norris invited Nicky Santoro for a capping contest. Nicky Santoro couldn't understand the fucking rules he agreed on and lost by default.
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  35. 11-11-08 12:36 AM #105
    betplom
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    Quote Originally Posted by tacomax View Post
    Chuck Norris invited Nicky Santoro for a capping contest. Nicky Santoro couldn't understand the fucking rules he agreed on and lost by default.
    Taco:

    A Chuck Norris joke often includes either an act of violence such as a roundhouse kick to the face or a macho thing like banging a hot broad.

    Please amend your "Chuck Norris joke" to the correct format which includes one of these events.
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