1. #1
    Auto Donk
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    cdc adds to list of covid symptoms -- Donk definitely covid positive.....

    well, fuk.... they say if you go raw, you're bound to come up with something.....

    I guess the covid-19 karma gods lashed out, as the cdc just today added "chills and involuntary body movements" to the list of symptoms.....

    two nights ago I had massive chills, and my crank was going up and down like a sweet texas crude pumpjack, with no usual pornhub visuals to spurn it on, so I knew something was up.... not to mention I was running a 101 fever....

    for you non-Texans that don't know what a pumpjack is, here one is:




    the fever obviously hit the radar, but the chills and off and on again hardons weren't really causing any concern.....

    until today, when they updated the symptoms with chills and involuntary body movements.....

    oh well, when in rome....

    or northern italy, as the case may be....

    I'll keep posting til I die, oops, I mean, recover in relatively short order.......

    stay safe, you don't want this mild flu bug.... unless you're, like me, amused by watching your crank go up and down as you watch wolf blitzer lie to the public..........

  2. #2
    Auto Donk
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    ps... when the withdrawal nurse goes to extract the antibodies and "serum", I certainly plan to tell her which part of my body seems to have harbored the majority of the infection, given the involuntary "body movements", and suggest that she orally extract a mouthful or two of them all at once.....

  3. #3
    jjgold
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    As long as you’re breathing OK it’s probably not Covid

  4. #4
    Auto Donk
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    and, it doesn't hurt when I take a leak.... tho my right ball swims like a fish in a bag (large bag) during the act.......

    doctor just confirmed I should come in tomorrow for testing "right away,".....

    prompting me to ask "right away means when that big tittied blond is on duty, right? if so, yes, then right away".......

    as far as breathing ok, I have noticed the feeling as if sixty-nining my wife with her sitting on my chest, when she's in the other room..... so, if feeling like a hot babe is sitting up on your face with her hands planted on your chest yelling "eat me, mother fukker, eat me" is ok., then i'm ok......
    Last edited by Auto Donk; 04-26-20 at 02:41 PM.

  5. #5
    big joe 1212
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    As long as you’re breathing OK it’s probably not Covid

  6. #6
    gauchojake
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    Donk are you sure you didn't mistake the Tylenol for Sildenifil????????????

  7. #7
    Auto Donk
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    I'm out back, and just saw a bull elk run by in full rut......

    so long as I'm hallucinating, I might as well call my mule over to drop of some peyote or at least some hydroponic, so I can blame it on the driugs.......

  8. #8
    Auto Donk
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    good call on the viagra.... who knows, maybe it competes with injecting bleach..... never know unless you try...... i'll pop a few shiagg (our code name for the blue diamond -- pronounced shy-agg), and see if the symptoms subdue.........


    well, some of the symptoms.... i expect the uncontrollable hardon to perhaps accelerate a good bit)....

  9. #9
    Foxx
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    Rest up man. Don't overexert. Get well soon.

  10. #10
    BarkingToad
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    Get well soon Donk!

  11. #11
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by Foxx View Post
    Rest up man. Don't overexert. Get well soon.
    then again, wife will definitely have it too..... might have to follow the theory of live every day like it's your last..... we're about to hit the pool and blare the stereo...... for what might be our last epic pool "blast".....

  12. #12
    Auto Donk
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    the water is already showing a sheen from the baby oil on her cheeks.... by the time the vaseline and other shit gets mixed in, some wildcatter will probably buy the property after we cash our chips thinkin' he's got sure-fire petroleum in them thar woods.........

  13. #13
    Foxx
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    If you must, better off using positions that don't require too much exertion. Might be a good time to dust off the old sex swing.

  14. #14
    Stryder
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  15. #15
    pablo222
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    Donk has the right idea. Bang the Carona away.

  16. #16
    SBR_Guest_Pro
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    should we start planning the get together for Donk's funeral now or wait until later?

  17. #17
    lonegambler23
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    need a donker check in vid

  18. #18
    Rain Chains
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    Hope you feel better buddy
    Last edited by Rain Chains; 04-26-20 at 04:21 PM.

  19. #19
    Auto Donk
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    if the shit starts to go south, I'll definitely do a video before I go check in to die.....

    as is, I'll probably wait until after I get tested tomorrow to do a vid update.........

    I'd like to go visit my favorite strip club Treasures one more time before I check out for good, but not sure if I can get a permit through all the h-town redtape in time, or enough strippers and blow to do it right.....

    f'n tough times........


    Diggity, call the f'n Make a Wish Foundation for me, please.......

  20. #20
    jjgold
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    Auto you big???

  21. #21
    Booya711
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    Donk will be fine....coronavirus just speeds along the inevitable in the obese and unhealthy that are already a burden on the health system

  22. #22
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    Auto you big???
    how soon they forget.....

    do you remember how many times you watched this video trying to figure out which actor played me???

    what fukkin' shift JJ are you, for crying out loud????




    sincerely,

    Donk Fukkin' Diggler

  23. #23
    Auto Donk
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    gonna kill several birds with one stone here.....

    first, this is what corana virus is....

    second, the start of one of the best concerts ever....

    third, I'm gettin' in the pool for one last DonkLand Pool Party hummer..........


  24. #24
    PittsburghPlayer
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    well, we are all going to come into contact w/ it

    the good news for big, healthy fukkers like you, is that you live in TX and heat kills the shit

    I`d suggest a couple bong-rips but I don`t want you to have an anxiety attack, so just keep doing what you are doing - making jokes of it, bourbon and continue to pound your boner on your wife and the furniture and shit.

    Nomination(s):
    This post was nominated 1 time . To view the nominated thread please click here. People who nominated: Auto Donk

  25. #25
    jjgold
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    I Remember that video now
    9
    Inches

    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    how soon they forget.....

    do you remember how many times you watched this video trying to figure out which actor played me???

    what fukkin' shift JJ are you, for crying out loud????




    sincerely,

    Donk Fukkin' Diggler

  26. #26
    vitterd
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    Quote Originally Posted by SBR_Guest_Pro View Post
    should we start planning the get together for Donk's funeral now or wait until later?
    This is his way of getting out of fighting me. Donk would beg for corona if I ever got my hands on him. Nothing but a pussy.

  27. #27
    habitualwinning
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    Quote Originally Posted by vitterd View Post
    This is his way of getting out of fighting me. Donk would beg for corona if I ever got my hands on him. Nothing but a pussy.
    You should fight poster firstclass aka firstdumbass instead. He's a petty patrol bitch cop. He'd probably love to shoot you in the back from 25 yards away and claim you were resisting or some other lie these petty cops make-up after a shooting. If you're black, it would be his honor to serve and protect your community by writing you a ticket or shooting you. Lmfao.

  28. #28
    BeatTheJerk
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    You absolutely have the wildest imagination ever created by God.

  29. #29
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by vitterd View Post
    This is his way of getting out of fighting me. Donk would beg for corona if I ever got my hands on him. Nothing but a pussy.
    i'll bury your ass with one hand tied behind my back and corona all over my most dangerous weapon......

    i'm sure that wouldn't stop your imaginary wife from trying to throat said weapon, God bless her unsatisfied soul.....

    just show up at a bash, twink..... please..........

  30. #30
    Auto Donk
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    Quote Originally Posted by PittsburghPlayer View Post
    well, we are all going to come into contact w/ it

    the good news for big, healthy fukkers like you, is that you live in TX and heat kills the shit

    I`d suggest a couple bong-rips but I don`t want you to have an anxiety attack, so just keep doing what you are doing - making jokes of it, bourbon and continue to pound your boner on your wife and the furniture and shit.


    you must be able to read minds.....

    once the wife tapped out, I hit one of the shrubs to finish myself off.... will post a photo of it in about ten minutes, once I go take it......

    tree huggers probably report me......

  31. #31
    DiggityDaggityDo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auto Donk View Post
    if the shit starts to go south, I'll definitely do a video before I go check in to die.....

    as is, I'll probably wait until after I get tested tomorrow to do a vid update.........

    I'd like to go visit my favorite strip club Treasures one more time before I check out for good, but not sure if I can get a permit through all the h-town redtape in time, or enough strippers and blow to do it right.....

    f'n tough times........


    Diggity, call the f'n Make a Wish Foundation for me, please.......
    Donker, I called, they said no. They said you are too told and too much of a pervert.

    But hey,how bad can death by boners really be?

    If I go, thats how I want to go!

  32. #32
    DiggityDaggityDo
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    I Remember that video now
    9
    Inches


    Did you drool, JJ?

  33. #33
    Auto Donk
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    okay, for PP, who said i'd probably be fukkin' a plant, this photo from out back:







    now, to put said hole in the proper context.... even vitturd's imaginary wife can't spread her hole that wide.....:






    and, for a final message to that faggit vitturd, who's ass has an open invitation to be kicked once I survive this shit and show up at the next bash:








    now, while I'm sure fauci would claim my "two viagras and three shots of tequila" is merely anecdotal evidence of combating coronavirus, that f'n hedge will testify that it works fukkin' pretty well in keeping a person performing at his usual pace......

  34. #34
    Mike Huntertz
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    Donk, this is the best thread! Funny stuff, you write very well.
    I'm not always in agreement with you but I like to laugh!
    Thanxs!

  35. #35
    vitterd
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    I’d smash that degenerate loser auto doosh in seconds. He’s hiding like a bitch. I’ve invited him here many times and he never shows. Nothing but a beta pussy.
    Last edited by vitterd; 04-26-20 at 09:52 PM.

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