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Fallen homie remembrance #9. Rest in Peace Jenny aka "Katie Holmes"
This one isn't exactly a fallen homie. I was rubba dub dubbin in the tub after a long day of driving my new exotic I picked up awhile back and this incident suddenly popped up in my head. I suddenly burst out in laughter.
This actually didn't happen all that long ago...
One day while out chillin with some of the homies, one of my homies ran across this baaaaaaaddddd white college chick. She was fine as hell. Little petite brunette, tight fit body and a gorgeous face. Her name was jenny, but we called her katie holmes, because she went from the white side to the dark side and never came back!!! My homie crept up on her while coming from a cotton candy stand and started spittin game. She was laughing the entire time. After about 10 minutes of talking, he pulled out his cellphone and she pulled out hers. "Alright little mama, I'll hit you up later", he said. He walked back over to us and said "Ima tear that puzzy up later"
So a few weeks later while me and the homies are at the house just chillin, drinking and going crazy watching Lebron stage yet another 4th quarter comeback, there was a knock at the door, but nobody answered because we were all too busy watching the game. After about a minute of knocking, someone answered and it was Katie Holmes at the door and she was crying her eyes out. My homeboy who had been fukking her got up and said "why you crying". She then said "I told my parents that I was dating you and they cut off my tuition, car note and said I can't ever come back home." He then replied"Why would they do all of that stuff to you when they have never even seen me? They don't even know who I am". She then replied "I know, right! They don't know anything. They seemed to have been perfectly fine until I told them you were black....."
"WHAT YOU MEAN THEY WERE FINE WITH IT UNTIL YOU TOLD THEM I WAS BLACK???? FUKK THEM RACIST ASS MOTHER FUKKERS. IT'S MOTHER FUKKERS LIKE THAT, THAT MAKE IT HARD FOR A N1GGA OUT HERE!!!!" And as she was crying her eyes out, he then said "we gonna be alright, baby. I got us a plan that is gonna make us a lot of money, but I'm gonna need your car to do it, because I don't have one."
Turns out his plan was to use Katie Holmes to go into elderly white upscale neighborhoods, knock on the door and pretend that she needs help. That's when her boyfriend comes out of hiding from the side of the house and holds the elderly person at gun point while they both rob the place. They were doing great at it. Making a shyt ton of money. He told Katie "I tried doing this with a black chick, but they never opened the door for her. Matter fact, she had the police called on her a few times. But they're opening the door for you like you live there!"
Well one day as they were about to make another heist, Katie Holmes said she had some great news to tell him. My homeboy was like "oh yeah? what is it, baby." She replied "you wont believe this, honey.... BUT I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!" He then had a period of deep silence and said "are you sure that mother fukkers mine, cause I don't think it is". "Of course it's yours silly! She gleefully replied. My homeboy then said "naw... that little n1gga aint mines, I think you made a mistake cause that aint mine. Aint no way." She then said "you're so silly! We're going to have a great family together." He then said " uuuhhhhh yeah.............. Well lets go ahead and get ready to rob these mother fukkers, go ahead and knock on the door, I'll be right behind you". She replied "ok baby. Lets do it" and she walks to the elderly persons door and knocks.
The old woman answers and says "may I help you?" Katie then replies "yeah, I really need to use your phone, my car broke down and I need someone to come pick me up!" The elderly lady replied "certainly my dear, but where is your car?" Katie turned around and the car vanished. She then started calling out to him from both sides of the house "baby, where are you? Come on, the door is open!!!". The elderly lady replied "who are you talking to dear? Are you ok?" And Katie completely ignores her and is still calling out to her baby. "Well I'm closing the door now, you need to seek help. Talking to the wind is not normal" and shut the door. Katie stops calling out, walks around to see if the car is around and it's nowhere in sight. "why did he leave? I don't understand"......
Later that night, my homeboy comes back to the spot and tells me Katie is pregnant. "man, that hoe trippin man, that aint my kid, hell naw, fukk that shyt". And while he's absolutely enraged, Katie knocks on the door extremely hard. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! I SEE MY CAR OUT HERE YOU AZZHOLE! OPEN THE FUKKING DOOR!!! My homeboy didn't want to come to the door, so I answered it and she was absolutely livid trying to get in the house, but I wouldn't let her in. She explained to me that she was pregnant and how he left her out there and she had to hitch two rides just to get back over here. She then said "if he no longer wants anything to do with me, fine. Just give me back my car." So I gave her the keys and she disappeared.
But through all of her struggles, she was determined to keep the baby and 9 months later and periodically contacted him letting him know that she's gonna have the kid and he's going to pay a hell of a lot of child support. I got word from my homeboy that she died of complications from child birth. He literally had tears of joy in his eyes when he was telling me the news.
I'm guessing the reason she died was because the baby was so huge and she was so little. Homeboy was big, black and 6'7 and Katie was 5'0 and skinny, so.......... No brainer there, eh?
We all went out to the club to celebrate that night. It was the greatest time of my homeboys life. He was the life of the club that night.
Rest in peace Katie Holmes!!!
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Originally Posted by A Quant
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