1. #1
    SBR Jonelyn
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    Dear JoJo Dating Advice, submit your questions and win points

    Jojo, my split personality, believes she’s an expert on relationships. 4 relationship questions per month will be selected from SBR Forum posters to be answered in a video. The questions which are used get 250 points in freeplay each.

    Post your questions in this thread. Good Luck fellas!

  2. #2
    easyliving
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    What does a guy have to do around here to get a date with you?

  3. #3
    SBR Jonelyn
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    Quote Originally Posted by easyliving View Post
    What does a guy have to do around here to get a date with you?
    hmmm. that's a good question easyliving.

  4. #4
    CarpeDime
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    Dear Joynellen,

    Basically, my place is a complete fukin pig-sty. I mean, not like a drug addict lives there or anything, just like, you know, clothes all over the place, floors haven't been washed in years, filthy shower curtain, dishes haven't been washed in months, etc etc.

    The main reason is just because I am too lazy too clean, and too weirded-out by a maid to have one, and basically have zero game so pulling a broad is most of the time not on the table. But, a few times a year, circumstances conspire, shall we say, to make it so that a broad does enter into the picture.

    Every time that happens, I don't know what to do. Should I make up some lie about why she can't come over? Should I just have her over and say "yeah, this is how I live"? Should I tell her she can't come over, and be honest about why?

    This happened to me just this past weekend. I went to Fashion Week Costa Rica, and pulled a fukin designer broad. Not a 10, but not bad. Full-figured, enormous bombs, huge fukin jiggly azz. Ok face, huge ears that stick way the fuk out, looks kind like an alien when hair is up, but much better when hair is down covering the ears. Whatever, I was into it.

    Now, keep in mind, I was ALL fukin decked out to the 9s, you feel me?? Fukin SAVILLE ROW jacket, Jonollyn I am not BSing you here, I am for real. Fukin NICE Ralph Lauren BLACK LABEL corduroy pants, you feel me?? Johnston & Murphy shoes.

    So I'm hanging with this broad and one of her fukin MODEL friends, a fukin legit 10, and the model's DJ boyfriend. I'm making jokes, the model LOVES me, right? We are driving home, and the designer wants to come to my house. I'm fukin furious at myself, can't figure out what to do.

    I decide to just tell her she can't come over, and I tell her the honest reason why. She looks at me kind of weird, kind of like she still likes me but doesn't really know what to think. They drop me off, I'm sure the fukin model and DJ boyfriend in the front seat wondering why she isn't sleeping over. Who knows what the fuk they were saying after I got out.

    Anyway, what should I do in this situation? Did I do the right thing? Should I/Could I have done something better?

  5. #5
    Smoke
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    Dear Jonie,

    This girl that I met at a bar and brought back to my home is now stalking me. Shes outside my windows at night when I shower. Shes at my front door in the morning when I get the newspaper. I cant seem to escape her. I dont like her I was drunk. What should I do?

  6. #6
    Vegas39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smoke View Post
    Dear Jonie,

    This girl that I met at a bar and brought back to my home is now stalking me. Shes outside my windows at night when I shower. Shes at my front door in the morning when I get the newspaper. I cant seem to escape her. I dont like her I was drunk. What should I do?

    Ypu still get the newspaper

  7. #7
    Smoke
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vegas39 View Post
    Ypu still get the newspaper
    Yes. Im old school guey

  8. #8
    SprayBoy
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarpeDime View Post
    Dear Joynellen,

    Basically, my place is a complete fukin pig-sty. I mean, not like a drug addict lives there or anything, just like, you know, clothes all over the place, floors haven't been washed in years, filthy shower curtain, dishes haven't been washed in months, etc etc.

    The main reason is just because I am too lazy too clean, and too weirded-out by a maid to have one, and basically have zero game so pulling a broad is most of the time not on the table. But, a few times a year, circumstances conspire, shall we say, to make it so that a broad does enter into the picture.

    Every time that happens, I don't know what to do. Should I make up some lie about why she can't come over? Should I just have her over and say "yeah, this is how I live"? Should I tell her she can't come over, and be honest about why?

    This happened to me just this past weekend. I went to Fashion Week Costa Rica, and pulled a fukin designer broad. Not a 10, but not bad. Full-figured, enormous bombs, huge fukin jiggly azz. Ok face, huge ears that stick way the fuk out, looks kind like an alien when hair is up, but much better when hair is down covering the ears. Whatever, I was into it.

    Now, keep in mind, I was ALL fukin decked out to the 9s, you feel me?? Fukin SAVILLE ROW jacket, Jonollyn I am not BSing you here, I am for real. Fukin NICE Ralph Lauren BLACK LABEL corduroy pants, you feel me?? Johnston & Murphy shoes.

    So I'm hanging with this broad and one of her fukin MODEL friends, a fukin legit 10, and the model's DJ boyfriend. I'm making jokes, the model LOVES me, right? We are driving home, and the designer wants to come to my house. I'm fukin furious at myself, can't figure out what to do.

    I decide to just tell her she can't come over, and I tell her the honest reason why. She looks at me kind of weird, kind of like she still likes me but doesn't really know what to think. They drop me off, I'm sure the fukin model and DJ boyfriend in the front seat wondering why she isn't sleeping over. Who knows what the fuk they were saying after I got out.

    Anyway, what should I do in this situation? Did I do the right thing? Should I/Could I have done something better?
    Solution: clean your house.

  9. #9
    Thor4140
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarpeDime View Post
    Dear Joynellen,

    Basically, my place is a complete fukin pig-sty. I mean, not like a drug addict lives there or anything, just like, you know, clothes all over the place, floors haven't been washed in years, filthy shower curtain, dishes haven't been washed in months, etc etc.

    The main reason is just because I am too lazy too clean, and too weirded-out by a maid to have one, and basically have zero game so pulling a broad is most of the time not on the table. But, a few times a year, circumstances conspire, shall we say, to make it so that a broad does enter into the picture.

    Every time that happens, I don't know what to do. Should I make up some lie about why she can't come over? Should I just have her over and say "yeah, this is how I live"? Should I tell her she can't come over, and be honest about why?

    This happened to me just this past weekend. I went to Fashion Week Costa Rica, and pulled a fukin designer broad. Not a 10, but not bad. Full-figured, enormous bombs, huge fukin jiggly azz. Ok face, huge ears that stick way the fuk out, looks kind like an alien when hair is up, but much better when hair is down covering the ears. Whatever, I was into it.

    Now, keep in mind, I was ALL fukin decked out to the 9s, you feel me?? Fukin SAVILLE ROW jacket, Jonollyn I am not BSing you here, I am for real. Fukin NICE Ralph Lauren BLACK LABEL corduroy pants, you feel me?? Johnston & Murphy shoes.

    So I'm hanging with this broad and one of her fukin MODEL friends, a fukin legit 10, and the model's DJ boyfriend. I'm making jokes, the model LOVES me, right? We are driving home, and the designer wants to come to my house. I'm fukin furious at myself, can't figure out what to do.

    I decide to just tell her she can't come over, and I tell her the honest reason why. She looks at me kind of weird, kind of like she still likes me but doesn't really know what to think. They drop me off, I'm sure the fukin model and DJ boyfriend in the front seat wondering why she isn't sleeping over. Who knows what the fuk they were saying after I got out.

    Anyway, what should I do in this situation? Did I do the right thing? Should I/Could I have done something better?
    how bout try cleaning the house ya filty bastard?

  10. #10
    Mikeyanks23
    Welcome to Darkhat Nation
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smoke View Post
    Dear Jonie,

    This girl that I met at a bar and brought back to my home is now stalking me. Shes outside my windows at night when I shower. Shes at my front door in the morning when I get the newspaper. I cant seem to escape her. I dont like her I was drunk. What should I do?

    sorry i'll stop


    you couldve just told me

    you didnt have to post on it online for me to find when your in the shower and i sneak in and browse your internet history

  11. #11
    TheCentaur
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarpeDime View Post
    Dear Joynellen,

    Basically, my place is a complete fukin pig-sty. I mean, not like a drug addict lives there or anything, just like, you know, clothes all over the place, floors haven't been washed in years, filthy shower curtain, dishes haven't been washed in months, etc etc.

    The main reason is just because I am too lazy too clean, and too weirded-out by a maid to have one, and basically have zero game so pulling a broad is most of the time not on the table. But, a few times a year, circumstances conspire, shall we say, to make it so that a broad does enter into the picture.

    Every time that happens, I don't know what to do. Should I make up some lie about why she can't come over? Should I just have her over and say "yeah, this is how I live"? Should I tell her she can't come over, and be honest about why?

    This happened to me just this past weekend. I went to Fashion Week Costa Rica, and pulled a fukin designer broad. Not a 10, but not bad. Full-figured, enormous bombs, huge fukin jiggly azz. Ok face, huge ears that stick way the fuk out, looks kind like an alien when hair is up, but much better when hair is down covering the ears. Whatever, I was into it.

    Now, keep in mind, I was ALL fukin decked out to the 9s, you feel me?? Fukin SAVILLE ROW jacket, Jonollyn I am not BSing you here, I am for real. Fukin NICE Ralph Lauren BLACK LABEL corduroy pants, you feel me?? Johnston & Murphy shoes.

    So I'm hanging with this broad and one of her fukin MODEL friends, a fukin legit 10, and the model's DJ boyfriend. I'm making jokes, the model LOVES me, right? We are driving home, and the designer wants to come to my house. I'm fukin furious at myself, can't figure out what to do.

    I decide to just tell her she can't come over, and I tell her the honest reason why. She looks at me kind of weird, kind of like she still likes me but doesn't really know what to think. They drop me off, I'm sure the fukin model and DJ boyfriend in the front seat wondering why she isn't sleeping over. Who knows what the fuk they were saying after I got out.

    Anyway, what should I do in this situation? Did I do the right thing? Should I/Could I have done something better?
    Get a hotel room

  12. #12
    PAULYPOKER
    I slipped Tricky Dick a hit of LSD!
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    Is "love ya longtime" a myth or a fact?

  13. #13
    TheCentaur
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smoke View Post
    Dear Jonie,

    This girl that I met at a bar and brought back to my home is now stalking me. Shes outside my windows at night when I shower. Shes at my front door in the morning when I get the newspaper. I cant seem to escape her. I dont like her I was drunk. What should I do?
    For those that are easily nauseated read no further...

    Smoke eat a leafy vegetabley kind of diet (preferably plenty of cabbage) one day and take all ur dumps that day in the guest toilet without flushing. Remember not to flush

    Wait a day or two for it to properly ferment and then invite him/her over. Sooner or later he'll/she'll need to go to that guest restroom and he'll/she'll never want to be anywhere near that stinker of yours again.

  14. #14
    Smoke
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mikeyanks23 View Post
    sorry i'll stop


    you couldve just told me

    you didnt have to post on it online for me to find when your in the shower and i sneak in and browse your internet history
    you son of a bitch

  15. #15
    Smoke
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheCentaur View Post
    For those that are easily nauseated read no further...

    Smoke eat a leafy vegetabley kind of diet (preferably plenty of cabbage) one day and take all ur dumps that day in the guest toilet without flushing. Remember not to flush

    Wait a day or two for it to properly ferment and then invite him/her over. Sooner or later he'll/she'll need to go to that guest restroom and he'll/she'll never want to be anywhere near that stinker of yours again.
    thanks for the advice but this chick is freaky. Half her body is tatted and she loves whiskey. I was so doorukn that night I just pounded her but when I woke up I was like wut the fukk.. washed my dick off 3 times n didnt wear a rubber

  16. #16
    Tseay
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarpeDime View Post
    Dear Joynellen,

    Basically, my place is a complete fukin pig-sty. I mean, not like a drug addict lives there or anything, just like, you know, clothes all over the place, floors haven't been washed in years, filthy shower curtain, dishes haven't been washed in months, etc etc.

    The main reason is just because I am too lazy too clean, and too weirded-out by a maid to have one, and basically have zero game so pulling a broad is most of the time not on the table. But, a few times a year, circumstances conspire, shall we say, to make it so that a broad does enter into the picture.

    Every time that happens, I don't know what to do. Should I make up some lie about why she can't come over? Should I just have her over and say "yeah, this is how I live"? Should I tell her she can't come over, and be honest about why?

    This happened to me just this past weekend. I went to Fashion Week Costa Rica, and pulled a fukin designer broad. Not a 10, but not bad. Full-figured, enormous bombs, huge fukin jiggly azz. Ok face, huge ears that stick way the fuk out, looks kind like an alien when hair is up, but much better when hair is down covering the ears. Whatever, I was into it.

    Now, keep in mind, I was ALL fukin decked out to the 9s, you feel me?? Fukin SAVILLE ROW jacket, Jonollyn I am not BSing you here, I am for real. Fukin NICE Ralph Lauren BLACK LABEL corduroy pants, you feel me?? Johnston & Murphy shoes.

    So I'm hanging with this broad and one of her fukin MODEL friends, a fukin legit 10, and the model's DJ boyfriend. I'm making jokes, the model LOVES me, right? We are driving home, and the designer wants to come to my house. I'm fukin furious at myself, can't figure out what to do.

    I decide to just tell her she can't come over, and I tell her the honest reason why. She looks at me kind of weird, kind of like she still likes me but doesn't really know what to think. They drop me off, I'm sure the fukin model and DJ boyfriend in the front seat wondering why she isn't sleeping over. Who knows what the fuk they were saying after I got out.

    Anyway, what should I do in this situation? Did I do the right thing? Should I/Could I have done something better?

    Her name is Jonelyn.

  17. #17
    SBR Jonelyn
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tseay View Post
    Her name is Jonelyn.
    You're right Tseay. Loshak is bad

  18. #18
    shaunovery
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    jojo do you need a husband

  19. #19
    Chi_archie
    GASPING FOR AIR
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    JoJo, can you help me convince my wife, (BigAL) that posters here are NOT lame non-people? maybe you could make her a video extolling some of our collective virtues as posters....

    this has been a long on-going battle as you can see from this old old thread and video of my wife.

    http://www.sportsbookreview.com/forum/players-ta...ising-sbr.html

  20. #20
    BigDeem5
    2013-2016 NBA: 461-378-24 +52.65u
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    JoJo, how do you eat a girl out w/o contracting throat cancer ?

  21. #21
    ProPicker713
    METS!
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    Dear Jojo, have you ever slept with a degen before?

  22. #22
    runner5k
    runner5k's Avatar SBR PRO
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    Jojo please rank the top 5 posters you think are relationship material here at SBR

  23. #23
    Kindred
    Bitcoin=Freedom
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarpeDime View Post
    Dear Joynellen,

    Basically, my place is a complete fukin pig-sty. I mean, not like a drug addict lives there or anything, just like, you know, clothes all over the place, floors haven't been washed in years, filthy shower curtain, dishes haven't been washed in months, etc etc.

    The main reason is just because I am too lazy too clean, and too weirded-out by a maid to have one, and basically have zero game so pulling a broad is most of the time not on the table. But, a few times a year, circumstances conspire, shall we say, to make it so that a broad does enter into the picture.

    Every time that happens, I don't know what to do. Should I make up some lie about why she can't come over? Should I just have her over and say "yeah, this is how I live"? Should I tell her she can't come over, and be honest about why?

    This happened to me just this past weekend. I went to Fashion Week Costa Rica, and pulled a fukin designer broad. Not a 10, but not bad. Full-figured, enormous bombs, huge fukin jiggly azz. Ok face, huge ears that stick way the fuk out, looks kind like an alien when hair is up, but much better when hair is down covering the ears. Whatever, I was into it.

    Now, keep in mind, I was ALL fukin decked out to the 9s, you feel me?? Fukin SAVILLE ROW jacket, Jonollyn I am not BSing you here, I am for real. Fukin NICE Ralph Lauren BLACK LABEL corduroy pants, you feel me?? Johnston & Murphy shoes.

    So I'm hanging with this broad and one of her fukin MODEL friends, a fukin legit 10, and the model's DJ boyfriend. I'm making jokes, the model LOVES me, right? We are driving home, and the designer wants to come to my house. I'm fukin furious at myself, can't figure out what to do.

    I decide to just tell her she can't come over, and I tell her the honest reason why. She looks at me kind of weird, kind of like she still likes me but doesn't really know what to think. They drop me off, I'm sure the fukin model and DJ boyfriend in the front seat wondering why she isn't sleeping over. Who knows what the fuk they were saying after I got out.

    Anyway, what should I do in this situation? Did I do the right thing? Should I/Could I have done something better?
    Stick to hookers, and/or find one of those topless maid services so you're not weirded out by the maid, you'll be staring at her

    Or you could do the boring thing and clean your fuckkin house

  24. #24
    BennyBigNuts
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    Is this SBR's strategy to bolster the forum strength?
    Christ.
    I have an automatic winner for a question, but I don't want to get permanently banned at the moment.

  25. #25
    CarpeDime
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    Quote Originally Posted by BennyBigNuts View Post
    Is this SBR's strategy to bolster the forum strength?
    um yes and its going to work

    dont hate on success pal its a bad look

  26. #26
    ChalkyDog
    Buy the ticket, take the ride.
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    Dear Jojo,

    My wife is a casual sports watcher, and can pick winners at a higher rate than me.

    The problem is, if I start playing her plays - I feel like a borderline cuckold.

    Advice?

  27. #27
    robmpink
    Update your status
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    Quote Originally Posted by SBR Jonelyn View Post
    Jojo, my split personality, believes she’s an expert on relationships. 4 relationship questions per month will be selected from SBR Forum posters to be answered in a video. The questions which are used get 250 points in freeplay each.

    Post your questions in this thread. Good Luck fellas!

    Wow, are you sure you aren't pushing yourself past the brink by answering four questions a month? I like the idea, a lot, but you could be doing this in a weekly segment. Forget about the points given out. Just roll w/ the idea on a weekly basis.

  28. #28
    KingJD31
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    I'm talking to a few girls but would never date most of them, only smash. The one chick that i would consider dating is acting like a little oyster lately, should i kill her quickly or slowly?

  29. #29
    bradthebloke
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    Where's Hoffa

  30. #30
    I/O
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    Quote Originally Posted by robmpink View Post
    Wow, are you sure you aren't pushing yourself past the brink by answering four questions a month naked in a video ? I like the idea, a lot, but you could be doing this in a weekly segment. Forget about the points given out. Just roll w/ the idea on a weekly basis.

  31. #31
    tony_come
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    Spurs/heat series winner?!?!

  32. #32
    ApricotSinner32
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    Jojo are you dtf on the first date? Not that I give a fuk.

  33. #33
    broadway6
    on to the next one
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    Jojo,

    Is your favorite bird the swallow?

  34. #34
    hugh_morris
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    Isn't this considered "saloon" shit?......But anyway, here's the issue, my rooster is 2 in. .....from the ground, its alway's getting caught on manhole covers, stumps etc....Is there anyway to tote this fukker around other than the wicker basket I been coiling him up in?.....peace

  35. #35
    BigDeem5
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    Jo Jo, is fisting pleasurable for women?

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