OK. I know Fisher well. He is a trip and a half, but a winning trip and a half. No one funnier that I, or Mrs. Jones, ever met. We both read the above story. Not surprised. This is Fishhead being Fishhead ...nothing more, nothing less.
But then Mrs. Jones says tell these young guys the vest and cowboy hat story about yourself.
And I said, hey honey these SBR young fellers don't even know who the fuk I am, they don't care and anyway, I'm on social security now. Still she says so what, tell the story. You used to tell great stories about our life [across the street] years ago. Well that was then and this is now but OK she's right. Here is the story.
Back ten years ago college baskets it was. The Mrs. and I had been living together about 6 months. Early mornings she crunched numbers and stats starting at 6AM, and I picked it up by about 9 AM till last game tipped off. Neither of us had a job for these several months except for this. We did real good. Betting mostly around a nickel, sometimes a dime. We were catching fire and the essence of this story started as a joke one night, but we started to win big and so it continued.
I come out one night from the bedroom dressed in a big ten gallon hat, a black leather vest, a belt, and fancy cowboy boots. Nothing else. 250 lbs of nothing else. I looked a bit like the mad Hungarian, Al Hrabosky, back then....only a lot heavier. But I'm not Hungarian though I am Eastern European. Laughingly, I tell Mrs. Jones this is my lucky outfit. She was not shocked by anything anymore, even after only 6 months.
Ready for the 7pm tip off on TV now. We watch the N.C. State game and win a nickel. Next night same outfit and we win a dime. Rooster crows that night baby!! Finally, a few nights later we're on this great streak, but I've had too many bourbons, and by now I'm dressing in the same outfit pretty much all the time while in the house and even as I make the bets. So I play a dime on Pitt, although while in my bourbon induced fog, I inadvertently sent the bet in twice.
I'm thinking this is going to ruin my luck. Two dimes is far out of my comfort zone. So I freak out and break down. I scream to Mrs. Jones to call the book and see if they will cancel one of the two dime bets...explain that it was made while I was impaired. Well we had been hitting this shop hard and to my surprise she did and they did cancel one of the bets. Good book back in the day, rhymes with Flybook...gave out half points and a bunch of other good stuff all the time.
So I am very relieved and feel like I must relieve myself some more. So, I stumble out in front of the house, in the aforementioned outfit, and proceed to further relieve myself on the mailbox in front of the house in St. Petersburg, Fl, where we lived at the time. Several cars drove by and I had this crazy ass grin as I waved to them with one hand, while the other was holding my rooster.
Now Mrs Jones sees this and runs out and grabs me by my belt and begins to drag my bare ass back into the house while I mumble incoherently. I'm getting those nasty Florida sand spurs in my ass cause I never watered our lawn and it was mostly sand and weeds. This BTW, began a history of Mrs. Jones saving me from myself many times right to this day. As she is pretty much dragging me across the lawn our sweet little old neighbor lady, who was a New Hampshire snowbird, comes out of her impeccably kept house and is now watching all this commotion going on. Mrs. Jones says, "Hi Loretta how are you?"
The little old lady says "just fine sweety can I help you with him?"
Mrs. Jones says "no thanks I got him", [Mrs. Jones, BTW, is strong like bull]..."he's just an excitable boy is all."
Loretta says, "alright then have a nice evening."
Then Pittsburgh wins the game and we make one dime instead of two.
Now with both of us on social security the nickel bets have become $50 and the dime ones $100....and those are the big ones even at that. But we're still having fun, me and Mrs. Jones.
Maybe someday I'll tell the story of Fisher and me on our 1:30 AM shopping trip at the supermarket in NewTampa. Or maybe I already did. Old man now, don't remember much except the good stuff.
Originally Posted by ronald
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firedawg gave HurryUpAndDrink 20 SBR Point(s) for this post.
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