[chilidog]

I don't know if everybody survived the massive earthquake or not. At precisely 5:59:27 this afternoon, Costa Rican time, my electricity went out, and shortly thereafter, an intense white light radiated from within my 13" black and white television set. Actually, I think it was coming from between the rabbit ears with tin foil wrapped around the ends, but let's not split hairs here.

I felt a heavy gravity feeling, and then felt something like my entire being was being shaken and beaten from every direction at once.

When I awoke, I found myself in this place, with all these weird looking people. Jesus is kicking it over in the corner. His chick Mary is beside him, and they're playing a game of Stratego while sipping on some Yoohoo's. This place is boring. I wanna go back to earth. Fuk heaven. Oh cool, there's my dog Max.

[Cougar Bait]

How many chili dogs can a normal man eat before yacking?

Also, does time travel exist and are there whores there?

[flyingillini]

Is there Carga and rigs preloaded where you are?

[chilidog]

How many chili dogs can a normal man eat before yacking?

Also, does time travel exist and are there whores there?

There is no need for food or sex in heaven. We don't need to eat nor reproduce. There's just a bunch of chairs here. Not sure why yet. Still waiting on my beginner's orientation class.

Is there Carga and rigs preloaded where you are?

I guess I took the wrong door. There is no pain, so no need for carga. This place is boringgggg.

[Smoke]

2 questions dog

What are your thoughts on slavery?

What do you think of Rachel Ray?

Be honest you fukk

[chilidog]

2 questions dog

What are your thoughts on slavery?

What do you think of Rachel Ray?

Be honest you fukk

You want honesty, eh? I'm from Louisiana. You can still see the cotton fields with the bigass plantation homes as you drive south to n'awlins. What built all that? Slavery. I'd hate to be a slave, but I don't have an issue with it. Hell, paying an employee $2 an hour to wait hand and foot on customers at a restaurant is a step above slavery as is.

As for Rachel Ray. I'd bend her sweet ass over the kitchen counter and fukk the shit outta her while feeding her cake batter.

[Tchocky]

Do they have internet in Heaven?

[chilidog]

Do they have internet in Heaven?

It's not really the Internet as you know it. Everybody just knows everything about everything and everybody. Kind of like how PatrickBateman thinks that knows everything about everybody on SBR, or how BigDaddyQH thinks he knows everything about politics.

[stealthyburrito]

what's going to happen to us, the ones left behind??

anything but locust swarms please.

[Smoke]

Ok this is fun. I got more questions to ask.

Time to get religious on you dog

Who do you think killed Jesus?

Will Arabs and Jews ever get along?

[chilidog]

what's going to happen to us, the ones left behind??

anything but locust swarms please.

I can not say. It involves pineapples, fishhooks, and duck tape.

Ok this is fun. I got more questions to ask.

Time to get religious on you dog

Who do you think killed Jesus?

Will Arabs and Jews ever get along?

Jesus killed himself. It was an accidental overdose from smoking some of the purest opium known. The whole crucifixion thing was a coverup to get people to pay their taxes.

No, Arabs and Jews won't ever get along. Nobody will ever get along. Only people who consume weed and hang out with Molly will truly get along.

[itchypickle]

Is Jesus actually pissed about the whole "I died as a Jew yet these 'Christian' people came about decades after my death and started some new idea based on a random human who never actually new me, now I'm somehow NOT a Jew anymore?" situation

[chilidog]

Where's all the chick angels at?? I see Michael and Gabriel and all those guys, but no chicks. Come to think of it, the bible didn't say anything about chick angels either. I guess JJ would love this place.

[chilidog]

Is Jesus actually pissed about the whole "I died as a Jew yet these 'Christian' people came about decades after my death and started some new idea based on a random human who never actually new me, now I'm somehow NOT a Jew anymore?" situation

Jesus says to send more money, and he'll get over it.

[Cougar Bait]

Is sodomy a sin?

[opie1988]

Is sodomy a sin?

To clarify for Cougar.....he's asking this question as pertaining to the receiver.:

[chilidog]

Is sodomy a sin?

Do dogs hate peanut butter?

[Albert Pujols]

Is Jesus actually pissed about the whole "I died as a Jew yet these 'Christian' people came about decades after my death and started some new idea based on a random human who never actually new me, now I'm somehow NOT a Jew anymore?" situation

Who told you that nonsense?

[chilidog]

Who told you that nonsense?

HEY! You weren't raptured. Know what that means? You chose to worship the wrong God. Sorry. Enjoy the locusts. and Justin Bieber.

[Albert Pujols]

HEY! You weren't raptured. Know what that means? You chose to worship the wrong God. Sorry. Enjoy the locusts. and Justin Bieber.

Jesus Christ is coming back but nobody knows the day or hour. Matthew 24 is absolutely clear so these false teachers don't speak for Christ followers.

[EasyHustlin]

Does Jesus smell as bad as I always imagined?

[The Bet Master]

What is the best bookmaker in heaven?

[chilidog]

Jesus Christ is coming back but nobody knows the day or hour. Matthew 24 is absolutely clear so these false teachers don't speak for Christ followers.

Yah, hate to be the one to tell yah, but you missed him, bud. Sorry.

Does Jesus smell as bad as I always imagined?

Smells like WD40 and butterscotch.

[flyingillini]

Chili, how is Molly where you are at?

[chilidog]

What is the best bookmaker in heaven?

Sorry, there's no gambling up here. Since we know everything that's gonna happen before it does, it's kind of pointless. I hate it here. Endure the plagues. Do not come here, I beg of you. Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven.

[Vegas_bond]

There must be plenty of sportsbooks in Heaven. And every punter can see the future.

[chilidog]

Chili, how is Molly where you are at?

Man, I miss Molly. I've been completely sober since my kid was born back on the 11th. I bet even a glass of rum n coke would have me ready to sing karoake.

[itchypickle]

Who told you that nonsense?

Without going into an entire theology lesson, do your research on Paul, St Paul, Paul of Tarsus, Apostle Paul...whatever title you give him....take a piece of paper and look at the timeline from Jesus being crucified (remember the King of Jews sign hung on him) and so forth....then look at the time elapsed between the Jewish bibles books (Tanach or your 'old testament') and lok at how the 'new testament' came about, the books being canonized etc and the authors of the new books....and lastly open your bible up to Matthew 1:22 and notice the prophecy it claims to fulfill and the new translation...to reflect Isaiah 7:14's version....it's not rocket science man. If you need more clarity on the matter, lemme know in another venue than this thread....I wanna enjoy our link to the raptured chili in case his wifi gets revoked up there

[losturmarbles]

How easy are the angels? I hear they like to party.

Screwing angels was like a drug in the old testament. But it really pisses God off.

Did you wake up with a coyote ugly this morning?

[wtf]

why is jj gay?

[chilidog]

How easy are the angels? I hear they like to party.

Screwing angels was like a drug in the old testament. But it really pisses God off.

Did you wake up with a coyote ugly this morning?

There's no female angels in the bible. Puzzling, eh?

[chilidog]

why is jj gay?

He's preparing himself for heaven.

[fury]

Does Pinny take action from Heaven?

[trixtrix]

what do you prefer: rapture or miss rebatewager?

[opie1988]

Can you ask Jesus to help me understand exactly what a correlated parlay is??