[mathdotcom]

Originally posted on 10/09/2009:

Preparation:

Clothing
- many layers, such as a shirt, sweater, and then jacket/hoodie
- sweatpants or track suite bottoms with elastic band waist
- base of pants must be TIGHT. If not, see a tailor and get this fixed.

Mental State
- You need the stuff in the store more than the owner does. If owner is chinese, then this is just gravy as you want to make their lives hell. You are only taking what belongs to you.

Execution
Most convenience stores are now set up so that the cashier can see down most of the aisles. [Back in the day this was not always the case.] This makes theft more difficult as you are never really out of cashier's view.

You want to find a store that has at least a few other people in it. Otherwise the cashier has nothing better to do than watch you.

Identify your item of interest. If cashier has view of you, then proceed as follows:
- pick up two of the item, but with one hand.
- walk in direction opposite cashier, ie. with your back to cashier
- make a left or right turn as you cross into another aisle
- this 2 second interval is when you will STASH the item of interest

Stashing can be:
- if you have a tracksuite top on, you can just stick the item under your jacket and the elastic band will hold it there.
- put down your tracksuite pants or sweatpants. it will fall to the bottom of your pants, but they are tight and so do not fall out at your feet.
- if small enough, any pocket will do

Once you re-appear in other aisle, you will still have one of the items in your hand. Even if the cashier has been watching you, she has to give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume you actually only took one. This benefit of the doubt is greater the smaller the item. Was that 2 packs of gum or one? Not so clear. Was that two 2L bottles of coke or one? No benefit of the doubt there. That is an advanced play and will be covered in future installments.

Go to cashier with some other random item. Could even be a $0.05 candy.
As she is ringing it in, you are leaning against the counter, chatting her up. Of course one of your free hands is grabbing packs of gum or chocolate bars and stuffing them down your pants. For this play you can't have a guy behind you obviously. Walk out of the store confidently, and do not run once you leave the scene. Only do so if you suspect you're being followed. Technically it is not theft until you've left the store with it, so sometimes they will wait for you to leave before grabbing you. Try to leave store and make a sharp left or right turn, and then bolt once out of cashier's view.

Boys I was so good at this I was leaving store with $50-$60 of merchandise each trip.... before the age of 9. My record was 3 submarine sandwiches down my sweatpants. I walked out of the store like a fukkin robut with all that shit down there but they knew I was going to be big time and did not say a word.

PS: Do not steal with your back to fridges with milk etc. in them. There could be a clerk stocking milk that catches you in the act. Also, do not be too afraid of cameras as they are usually just there to scare the pussy thieves who do not have your balls. But if you suspect it is actually operational, the Lostache and Webber glasses should suffice.

[compaqDikk]

mathy???? this is your first and only post since december 18th???

[yisman]

someone nominated it. he didn't post it.