Originally posted on 03/31/2010:

Dining and Dashing in Groups:
(see part 1 here: http://www.sportsbookreview.com/forum/players-ta...ompaqdikk.html)
You are with a group of friends. You have hunger but no cash. This is a common problem my buddies and I face. Now is the time to share the solution with you.

The tips that follow depend upon how well you are dressed. The more well dressed you are, the better. Wearing your gambling outfit can create unnecessary problems. So invest in a nice suite and you will get paid back with countless meals. And if you ever get a job interview (barreled in), you can use it for that too.

If you and your buddies are at least dressed in business casual attire, the following is a guaranteed way to eat on the house.

Step 1: Find a nice restaurant with bathrooms that require you to go down steps.

Step 2: Walk into restaurant together, sit down, order whatever you like. Flirt with waitress, grab her azz, generally act big time. This is not required but there is really no good reason not to act like this.

Step 3: After you're done the meal, sit around and relax. Let the food digest.

Step 4: Select someone from your group to go to the washroom. When he goes downstairs, ..... he'll pull the fukkin fire alarm!! As everyone looks around and panics, there will be a rush to the exits. You will be part of this rush. Once outside, you will all disperse in different directions. It is that easy.

Step 4b: So now you're thinking, what if there is no fire alarm? Well, that person (instead of going downstairs) is now going to go outside and bum a smoke off someone. Remember this is a classy joint and some guy outside will see your suite and realize it is not a good idea to say no to you.

Step 4c: Go back down to the washroom. Find one of those garbage cans full of paper towels, light the cigarette, and throw it into the can. Run out screaming "fire" and urge everyone out of the restaurant. They will not think twice as the smoke should be following closely behind you. Once you're all outside, disperse as before.

You may be thinking "won't the place burn down and maybe lives will be lost" but you'd be totally missing the point. When the fire department gets there and examines the scene they will find the cigarette and match it to one of the guys standing outside watching the scene. The dumb fukk is of course standing there, smoking, and watching the action. Little does he know he is about to get bent over a police car and cuffed. Basically he is your fall guy.

You guys on SBR are so square you would probably use your own cigarette and get yourself thrown in the slammer.

Boys I have dined on top of the line shellfish for years and never paid a dime.