Quote Originally Posted by pavyracer View Post
So is his pecker asian size or african size?
Good point, pavy. I thought about this beforehand but did not want to post it. Didn't want to offend any Asian posters.

Asian tallywacker: 2.5 inches
African tallywacker: 7.5 inches


Now, I'm not a Penis Mathematician, but basic math her says the following:

2.5 rice thimble + 7.5 cucumber spear = 10 inches

10 inches / 2 = 5 inches


Therefore, Tiger is a "5 incher".

And this explains why Tiger is so self-conscious and Hebrewy on the phone w/ his conversations w/ all those hoes. They were expecting a 'Nigerian Nightmare' to drive thru them, but he could only plow thru them w/ Toyota Camry-sized tallywacker. And let me remind you that Tiger was a guy that was routinely hanging out w/ dudes who are 6'6" and taller. So Howard and MJ plow thru some ho... then pass the ho onto Tiger. Tiger taps that ho and the ho is like, 'Where's the beef?'

At that point Tiger shouts 'Gung ho fat choi chin mai fong fong chicken chow mein' (the Asian language he knows) and in a fury runs out to his driving range and hits more golf balls. This makes him a better golfer.

You see, I have the inside story.