Originally <a href='https://www.sportsbookreview.com/forum/showthread.php?p=26858601'>posted</a> on 03/19/2017:

BREAKING: ISIS Signs Free Agent QB

Colin Kaepernick To 1-Year Deal

MOSUL, SYRIA After a period of time where it appeared Colin Kaepernick may be out of a job for quite some time, hes finally found a home.
According to ESPNs Adam Schefter, ISIS has decided to sign the former 49ers quarterback to a one-year deal worth in upwards of $7 million.
Kaepernick opted out of his contract with San Francisco weeks ago, and hadnt garnered much interest even with numerous teams in need of veteran quarterbacks, until now of course.
الأَبْجَدِيَّة العَرَبِيَّة‎‎الأَبْجَدِيَّة الالأَبْجَدِيَّة العَرَبِيَّة‎‎ يَّة‎‎ said ISIS GM Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.
We think he can be a strong asset for us, a translator said. Hes not very accurate, but with bombs and grenades, that isnt the most important of attributes.
He is quite explosive though, he added. At only 7 million, hes a real bang for your buck.