Originally posted on 07/15/2015:

Quote Originally Posted by smokenjoke View Post
I feel like a little boy who's lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here... Wait a second, do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth-fairy? Explain it to them... Wait. She takes the god damned thing, and gives you a quarter. They've got my tooth. I want it back.


Got this lion. He's the king of the jungle. Huge mane, out to here. He's laying down under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big. He's so hot. He doesn't want to move. The little lion cubs, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him...
coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now, the other animals notice this...and they start to move in, the jackals. Hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this...then they get closer and bolder, till one day...that lion gets up and tears the [----] out of everybody...runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. 'Cause every once in a while,
the lion has to show the jackals...who he is. It's too late to be scared. It's time to kill