[The Kraken]

Originally posted on 02/19/2014:

Yeah should probably get off the painkillers Kraken.....Weed/Benzos should help you at the very least for the time being

I know a ton of people that messed around with em....some people can keep it a recreational/ small dose thing but others it has destroyed and even killed

They are really awesome but just not worth it in the long run if you have built a tolerance

Man you got that post right. They are great for the first two days and then the remainder of the time, I'm popping just because I'm craving or starting to feel the previous dose wear off. At this point, I get very little high and I"m just avoiding the feelings of anxiety, racing heart, tremors and everything that comes along with detoxing. Around day 5 or 6, I end up taking something every few hours because I feel anxious if I don't.

And then I start counting and I always know how many more days until my next doc visit. So usually when I get down to about 23-24 pills left I'm thinking "ok, just one a day for 24 days, I'll have some rough patches through the day but then when I get home from work I'll pop one and all will be good". By the next day, I'm down to 16 or so and again I try to rationalize "ok, one every other day or half a pill every day". Then I'm down to 8 and know I'm fukked.

I gotta laugh at the whining fools on this site/
Man what a bunch of cryin fuk ups

Whining fools? Who the fukks whining other than you?

IMO once your a pill junkie---your almost always a pill junkie.....

I don't know if this is true or not. It may be but i haven't quit yet so I don't know what it will be like when I do.

I work with a guy that hooked on heroin for a while, says he's been clean for a few years now but he admits the cravings are still intense. He says doing h for the first time was the worst decision he ever made in his life and it still haunts him years later. Says he'll be sitting around doing nothing but thinking of h. I feel bad for the guy, he's a good guy that made a bad decision and lives with the consequences. So even though he wasn't a pill junkie he was on opiates, so you could be right.

Let me add this though, every month I go through wd's and they suck. There's other forums with better writers that can describe them much better than me so I won't do it the injustice of trying to describe them. I'm sure most here know the feeling and exactly what I'm talking about. But after I go through them I come out feeling better mentally. I've sworn many times I was done. I feel too good without them. Then the pain sets in and I remember why I was on them. I've had three surgeries in the last 4 years and I have one left at the end of this summer. So that's my silver lining. Hoping the next surgery fixes the pain and then I'll get back to you on once a pill junkie always a pill junkie.