Originally posted on 02/08/2014:

I'm not a real detective, but I'm real dedicated to wearing a trench coat in public places. I occasionally have been known to snoop around with my oversized magnifying glass in hand, or "accidentally" let slip open the front of my trenchy, revealing parts of my anatomy normally concealed by one's underoos. That's when the real detectives are dispatched and I spend the night at Custody Suites.