[smokenjoke]

Originally posted on 08/01/2013:

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"

[dante1]

Hope you laugh no points necessary

Brunette and blonde speeding down a highway at 90 mph with the brunette driving. She says to the blonde take a look behind and see if any cops are following. Blonde says okay turns around and replies yes a cop is on our tail. "Oh crap" the brunette exclaims and tells the blonde to take another look and see if he has his flashers on. Blonde turns around and replies, yep, nope, yep, nope, yep, nope...