[mmaed]

you didn't finish the story

then Jesus said "Don't worry I wasn't going to heal you. I don't heal socialists or atheists. I don't heal people who hate freedom. I don't heal people who think government should control every aspect of people's lives. I don't heal people who want to raise taxes so high that everyone in society suffers. I don't heal people who give free handouts to people who haven't earned them. I don't heal the lazy. I don't heal people who worship science. I don't heal people who think people can warm the earth without God wanting them to. I don't heal people who hate rich people. I don't heal people who are ungrateful to rich people for providing them with jobs. I don't heal people who think homosexuality is acceptable. I don't heal people who think that marriage can include one man and one man, or one man and two dogs, or one man and three women and two other men, or any other iteration thereof. I don't heal people who don't understand that every man who loves freedom must be able to own a gun. I don't heal people who are too stupid to understand that more guns equals less violence. I don't heal people who think that Real Americans should be forced to pay for birth control for illegal immigrants."

And then Jesus walked away, wanting to punch the democrat's lights out, but not doing so because he turns the other cheek.

Fail. Jesus isn't real.