Originally posted on 02/25/2012:

So lemme get this straight, you're a perfect human being who knows all, you tried out for an arena football team with a bum hip and running a 4.6 40, but you were too good so they asked you to help coach, you have perfect nutrition (or at least know everything about nutrition) yet you weigh 350 lbs, and these are the girls you get? I feel sorry for you man!