Give me a choice between hanging out with a herpes-infested crackhead hooker or a sports tout and I'll take the hooker. At least she has higher morals.

Touts: slimebag douche mother-fukkers want to charge a fellow gambler for "picks." Give me a fukking break.

Life is hard enough for a sports bettor: stigmatized by society, illegal in every state except Nevada, and yet we plow ahead analyzing info, watching boring game after boring game. I've spent three hours before breaking down Siena vs Manhattan on a Wed night basketball game with 200 fans in attendance.

Betting is a noble pursuit in my book, but touts tarnish it with their perverse schemes, crooked bastards that they are. If I saw a tout on fire, I'd piss on his ashes and then shit on the grave.