O.K. folks, as the initial entry for this blog, let me begin by admitting to you (as we all know) that my weekly thoughts on the NFL lines (and picks, thereof) are for entertainment purposes only. But I will not give ya' any bullcookies (at least, not without butter). So, with THAT in mind, let's entertain our wallets, purses, piggybanks, whatever-----shall we?!?
Chicago (-3) over Da' Bills: Lovie, Lovie, Lovie....How I lovie what you might do after a bye...weather not a factor...and don't you think that the Bills are just a TAD worn-out after two overtime losses in a row? At 0-7, the Buffalo Wing faithful are startin' to pine for Dick Jauron.....I know the "trendy" pick here is Buffalo, however, against the league's Worst Run Defense, I see Forte', Knox, Hester, & Cutler smiling under the Gumdrop Tree San Diego (-3) over Houston: Now let me get this straight...Diego plays horribly on the road...Houston's got a rookie of the year candidate in RB Foster and a veteran of the year candidate in WR Johnson (gimpy, or no), and the Texans are getting 3??????????!!!!!!!!!!! Make no mistake about it, this line is being driven by the Monday Night perfomance against Manning & Co. and is unjustified; anyone remember the dismantling of the Giants weeks ago? Take the Texans +3 in a game they'll probably win outright.
************* UPSET SPECIAL **************** (That the Lions could win 2 in a row should be "special" enough, agreed?
Detroit (+4) vs. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets: Sorry, Fireman Eddie, if ya' can't rally the troops in your own yard against the banged-up PACK, you might be at a disadvantage, here, against a clearly inspired team who is just frothing at the bit to test their mettle against one of the league's elite @home. I know this makes no sense, for on paper, the Boeing 747s are clearly the superior team; however, with no turnovers + a DST touchdown somewhere in the mix + home crowd drooling for an upset...LOOK OUT-----you may just crash and burn for a second straight week! I like the Lions to cover and perhaps win outright. Remember, only Calvin Johnson can catch the Gingerbread Man. New England (-4.5) against Cleveland: Bye or no, this is a game of mismatched talent: the Patriots have it and the Brownies, well, don't. How were the Browns able to usurp the reigning Superbowl Champs, then? Injuries. You know it, so do I. Make no mistake about it....when N'orleans gets healthy (a.k.a. Bush, Pierre, et al.) they will peak------probably at the right time, too. But enough of that analysis with the Brownies. New England has quietly (ssssshhh) become the best team (at least record-wise) in the NFL...Welker's due for a HUGE game (even without the rolling stone that gathers NO MOSS). Take the Pats------and remember, you heard it here, first: this game could be over at halftime. Da' Raiderzzzzzzzz (-2) vs. K.C. & The Cassel Sunshine Band: This year's dust bowl features McFadden vs. Charles in a 100 yard cloud of choking dirt particles. Simply put, there are 2 mitigating factors of why Al Davis may put his cane and bifocals away for this game: the Black and Silver have Zach Miller and the vote of QB confidence (now that DraftBustus Russel is gone) and two, when all is said and done, the Home Defense should win-out. Don't get me wrong: this could be a very close, nailbiter game down to the end..............but after years of ineptitude (since Chucky left), like the Lions, the Raiders should want it more. "Just Win, Baby" all the way over the Candycane Bridge. Packers (-9) vs. How 'Bout Dem' Romo Orphans: Folks, to my mind, of the 3 games this week with (-8) lines or higher, this is the only one that irrevocably, 100% justifies itself; FACT 1: the CowDungs are HORRIBLE!; FACT 2: emotionally, psychologically, the tarnished SilverStars have all jumped ship--------you can see it in their play-by-play execution, or lack thereof (they want a new coach, by the way); FACT 3: Aaron Rodgers is a top 3 NFL QB @home during Primetime; FACT 4: the CowDungs are HORRIBLE! (oh, I said that, already) so, FACT 4: "No Defense Jax." opened up a can of 30 + point whuppass on them that could lead to a season long hangover.......umm, FACT 5: the CowDungs are----------and, yes, this is the "Weather-is-a-factor" game.
And Now For The "Should-Cover" Games: Saints (-6.5) against the Carolina Meows: Even injury-riddled and away from home, the Saints should cover this one in their sleep. Operative word, here: should. Giants (-7) against the Hawks of the Sea: Hmmmmm, Coughlin, Eli, Bradshaw, and the black dude with the Japanese name + a bye to prepare.........good luck Pete Carroll-------it may have taken 1/2 a season, but this game should be your official welcoming-BACK to the NFL. No "roll-over" NFC-West matchup, here. Beat the G-MEN, and I'll officially rooster an eyebrow at 'cha! Pittsburgh (-5) against Emerson, Lake, Palmer, & Popcorn: Arguably, Pitt. is the 1rst-2nd best team in the NFL (at least their defense is)......I warn sternly, however, that this game (+Indy & Philly) could be justifiably witnessed as the proverbial "TRAP" game. Why? Cincy, while extremely overrated, know that they're a fork and a baster away from the AFC's digestive system. In short: a MUST win. Let us not forget that they might have the talent to pull off the upset, too................depending on whether the popcorn machine is working and Ochocinco polishes his gold tooth. Not enough for me to endorse, but Pittsburgh should outclass them..............we'll see..........
Welcome to the "No Touch Zone:" Given a pitchfork prod in my Gluteus Maximus, I don't know if you could pay me to make picks on these games: Minnesota (-9) vs. Zona: Good Luck, Mr. Favre. Good Luck, Max Hall, Derek Andersen, or whoever. The "Good Luck" Game. Dirty Birdies (-9) vs. T.Bay: The obligatory morning after, "Why the hell did I take the Falcons when I knew that T. Bay plays everybody close" game. Baltimore (-5) vs. The Blowhole Mammals: If you're fond of the Casino game of Craps, roll a pair for each of these teams to see which ones'll show up-------------teasing for the under might be worth a play, though.........I dunno............ Colts (+3) against Eagles: Not a clue. Don't want one. Maybe worth teasing the OVER, though.....
There ya' have it, prognosticating pundits..............good luck, enjoy the games, and I wouldn't use KY jelly when rubbing your 2 nickels together
i only disagree about the lions beating the jets ... i just don't see it happening i been a lion faithful ever since i lived in michigan and i been let down year after year .. and by the way i met bennie blades the cornerback with the lions at the time at a pistons game .. he sat a few rows behind us. GO TITANS .. GO LIONS
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