[Bread]

With two weeks remaining in the NFL regular season it’s time for me to check in on my Future Divisional plays. I am very sad to announce that there is nothing more than a lump of coal at the bottom of my wagering stocking. With seven of the eight division being secured, or lined up to be clinched by the preseason favorites, I was bound to be in trouble. Hopefully many of you were wiser than I and have a Holiday bonus right around the corner.

AFC East
New England (-775) has a two game lead on Miami and the Jets, and should clinch this weekend against Jacksonville.
My pick: New England

The good news is that I did indeed predict two winners. The sad news is that both had colossal odds. The East is just horrible, and the only hope for the other three was another injury to Tom Brady. It didn’t happen and New England is about to reclaim the title that the Dolphins swiped away last year.

AFC North
Cincinnati (+1000) is 9-5. Baltimore (+250) is 8-6.
My pick: Pittsburgh (-250)

Go figure. One of the few favorites I take and the filthy Bungles of all teams are poised for a nice payday. I give up.

After an improbable Week 1 loss to Denver, it looked like sad business as usual for Cincinnati. But unlike the Bengals that we have become accustomed to, this team did not fold. They responded by reeling off 9 wins in their next 11 games. They have struggled a bit of late, dropping two in a row and dealing with the death of receiver Chris Henry. Fear not, as they will certainly clinch this Sunday when they face Kansas City.

At least I predicted a last place finish by the Browns. Do I get a half point for that? Yea, I suppose not.

AFC South
Indianapolis (-115) is a perfect 14-0, wrapping up the South ages ago.
My pick: Houston (+375)

Sometimes things really don’t go your way. There is perennial powerhouse Indy ripe for the picking, with some drool-inducing odds, and I pass on them. Naturally, they breeze through their entire schedule, well on their way to an undefeated year. Houston, meanwhile, was very Houston-like. They had their moments of promise, which were equally matched with moments of disappointment. I really need to stop picking these guys. Let it go, Bread.

You can’t be serious

AFC West
San Diego (-825) owns the West, and they have already clinched once again.
My pick: San Diego

Hooray another huge chalk winner! Denver did put a bit of a scare in me for awhile, but was I really supposed to be afraid of a Kyle Orton-led team. Thank you Chargers for the second of my measly two winners.

NFC East
Philly (+175), Dallas (+210) and NY Giants (+190) are fighting for the East with two weeks remaining.
My pick: Washington (+575). Oops.

If you watched this past Monday nights Redskins game against the Giants, you got a good idea why Washington is only 4-10. They are dreadful. They are beyond dreadful – they are ghastly, and I have a ticket on them to win the East. Oh man that’s just ugly.

Congrats to anyone who did NOT pick the Redskins to win their division. No matter what else happens, you’re already a bigger winner than me.

Assume the position, Skins backers

NFC North
Behind Brett Favre and an all around improved team, Minnesota (+140) has already clinched.
My pick: Green Bay (+185)

I was actually a fan of Aaron Rogers before this season began. 14 weeks of watching him trot around the backfield only to be sacked over and over again, and I can’t stand him. Such levels of change in affection are usually reserved for ex-lovers. It’s that bad. What a doofus.

I was a member of the camp that thought that Favre was too old, too washed up to make a difference in Viking Land. I was incorrect. Again. Minnesota is 11-3 so far and looking to do some damage in the playoffs.

NFC South
New Orleans (+130) crushed the South and everyone else in the NFL.
My pick: Atlanta (+165)

Just as with the Colts, Saints future holders never had a worry in the world. What a season for Drew Brees and the New Orleans offense. I was so bad this year that I’m actually excited about a 2nd place finish. Way to go Falcons with that 7-7 record! Man there has to be an easier way.

NFC West
Arizona (+100) has already clinched.
My pick: San Francisco (+375)

Congratulation Cardinals. You were able to take the West, costing me more money. I can’t wait to make it all back as I watch you get bounced in the first round of the playoffs. They are without a doubt, the most useless divisional winner. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

So there you have it. Second year in a row I manage to go 2-6 on Divisional Futures. I am not proud, but not ashamed enough to not give it a go once again next season.

[MrMonkey]

Bread, good or bad, you always show us your hand!

[Bread]

I have no shame Mr Monkey. Pitiful, ain't it?

[mmike032]

and a talented writer