1. #1
    baskets
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    Why doesn't hockey have a 700 lb black guy play goalie and block all goals????

    New to hockey here.

    Why not just get a guy that's 700 lbs and can literally block all airspace for a goal simply with his girth.



    Is this not possible?



    Saw a 700 lb black fighter on a youtube video. Guy could've covered the goal for a solid 60 minutes... and be the greatest goalie of all time. No goals alllowed.... EVER!!!

  2. #2
    Big Bear
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    good idea

  3. #3
    mynameismud
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    trust me, with the speed of the game and the pace on the slap shots, teams would score 20 goals on the guy. anyways...a guy that heavy and out of shape, could not wear all those pads and skate from the bench to the goal.

  4. #4
    yisman
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    it's been suggested

  5. #5
    PhillyFlyers
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    Because everybody knows that black guys can't play hockey.

    They've got a better chance at graduating high school.
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  6. #6
    Cicima6709
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    researchers have looked into it. Guy would suck, he wouldnt be able to stand on his skates that long, and if he sat down, players would snipe the corners and top shelf w/ ease.

  7. #7
    Jerm3462
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    Anything would do better than Philadelphia's goalies did in the playoffs.

    That was embarrassing.

  8. #8
    freeVICK
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    TT would be the closest comparison give or take 50 lbs. he wouldn't stop shit

  9. #9
    ByeShea
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    Quote Originally Posted by baskets View Post
    New to hockey here.
    No sh*t?

    Goalie has to be the best skater. He doesn't just "stand there".

    So until you see black dudes on the ice en masse, you're not going to see any pet project black goalies.

    It's too bad, though. I like the idea of a giant black goalie.

  10. #10
    blackbeSSt
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    im more interested in this 700 pound fighter video

  11. #11
    k13
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    They should put your mom in front of the net.


  12. #12
    Al Masters
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    Quote Originally Posted by baskets View Post
    New to hockey here.

    Why not just get a guy that's 700 lbs and can literally block all airspace for a goal simply with his girth.



    Is this not possible?



    Saw a 700 lb black fighter on a youtube video. Guy could've covered the goal for a solid 60 minutes... and be the greatest goalie of all time. No goals alllowed.... EVER!!!

    When the little black puck wizzes by his face at 200 miles an hour
    he will be looking for the first basketball.

    I'll stick with Grant fuhr.

  13. #13
    boeing power
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    Basket has a big black guy fetish.

  14. #14
    ttwarrior1
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    too big, not athletic enough, however i am athletic enough with great hand eye coordination, however,hockey is not a sport and is a cure for insomnia

  15. #15
    ByeShea
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    Quote Originally Posted by k13 View Post
    They should put your mom in front of the net.

    Outstanding.

  16. #16
    Monitor-Tan
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    I'd be more worried about safety hazard..

  17. #17
    ChalkyDog
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    A damn retarded midget would have been better than the guys in goal for the Flyers last game.

  18. #18
    mynameismud
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChalkyDog View Post
    A damn retarded midget would have been better than the guys in goal for the Flyers last game.
    ilya brzggalov had a GAA of 2.48 during regular season. not great, but better than half the goalies in the league. come playoff time, hes become a total head case. it will be so epic if pitt comes back to win this series.

  19. #19
    ByeShea
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChalkyDog View Post
    A damn retarded midget would have been better than the guys in goal for the Flyers last game.
    Quit dreaming. You'll never be an NHL goalie.

  20. #20
    ChalkyDog
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    Quote Originally Posted by ByeShea View Post
    Quit dreaming. You'll never be an NHL goalie.
    Hahaha, well played!

  21. #21
    baskets
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    You're telling me in the next 50 years there won't be a human being that can't sit in front of that square and have all the space covered with his girth?

    I don't believe it. This is not soccer

  22. #22
    Deuce
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    Goalies have to be athletic. The best representation of this is Pekka Renne. Guy is 6'5" and dominates because of his size. He is agile though and smart.

  23. #23
    ChalkyDog
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    Quote Originally Posted by baskets View Post
    You're telling me in the next 50 years there won't be a human being that can't sit in front of that square and have all the space covered with his girth?

    I don't believe it. This is not soccer
    First photo is a picture of the fattest person on record circa 1900.



    Second photo is of some random picture of a "chubby" dude found on the internet:



    Final picture is the fattest person on record in 2010:



    I think based on the progression of the times, it is reasonable to believe that is easily possible in 50 years... hell it is probably possible today.
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  24. #24
    GOIRISH
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  25. #25
    milwaukee mike
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    this dude could sit on the ice and take up the width of the goal, but top shelf corners he wouldn't get to

  26. #26
    hels
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    The goalie pads (legs), catcher and blocker have specific size limitations. So the lower part of the net would always be open.

    However, since the league made a length of the stick exception for Chara they would have to make exceptions for a 700lb cotton picker.

  27. #27
    face
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  28. #28
    Grits n' Gravy
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    Quote Originally Posted by ttwarrior1 View Post
    too big, not athletic enough, however i am athletic enough with great hand eye coordination, however,hockey is not a sport and is a cure for insomnia
    Get the f uck out of here with that nonsense you fat tub of goo. You can't go 15 minutes without eating, let alone standing up on skates. You going to use your shit rag to wipe the ice off your face? I could see you pouring sugar and food coloring on ice and making a giant snow cone. That is about it.

  29. #29
    smitch124
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    Sumo goalie has been considered, but they will get too cold in those loin clothes...

  30. #30
    shaunovery
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    Puck handling skills might be suspect

    What happens if they have to get a extra attacker on the ice might take a while

  31. #31
    CarpeDime
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    Quote Originally Posted by face View Post

    look, it's actually a pretty good idea

    THIS guy would take up the whole entire net, and don't forget he's also wearing pads which would be supersized

    so athleticism wouldn't matter at all, literally all he would have to do would be just sit there

    if there were in fact any kind of exposed corners on top, you probably could have him perform some sort of movements to minimize the exposure at least somewhat

    sure some goals would sneak through but not many

    i love the idea, why has no one tried it?

  32. #32
    Grits n' Gravy
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarpeDime View Post
    look, it's actually a pretty good idea

    THIS guy would take up the whole entire net, and don't forget he's also wearing pads which would be supersized

    so athleticism wouldn't matter at all, literally all he would have to do would be just sit there

    if there were in fact any kind of exposed corners on top, you probably could have him perform some sort of movements to minimize the exposure at least somewhat

    sure some goals would sneak through but not many

    i love the idea, why has no one tried it?
    Too much weight to support on skates. His ankles would snap. Maybe have him sit.

  33. #33
    PuckIt
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    -----^^ He can even stand, too! ...or wait, is he propped up somehow?

  34. #34
    PuckIt
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grits n' Gravy View Post

    Too much weight to support on skates. His ankles would snap. Maybe have him sit.
    What about those little kid skates that have the two blades on the bottom? Think about how deep the ruts in the ice he would carve

  35. #35
    CarpeDime
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    yes i agree getting him onto the ice would be an issue, but what are the rules for that? I'm sure they could build a contraption that could easily slide along the ice and dump him in front of the goal

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