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The Mad Capper never fails.....Uncle Murdoch is the Nostradamus of college football.
This is hot off the press folks. My Uncle Murdoch is at it again. His ventures took him to the east coast where some bad directions landed him in Rhode friggin' Island. Never one to be down on his luck, Uncle Murdy tried to make some lemonade out of this batch of lemons. To make a long story short, he was kicked out of a local county fair for booking wagers on a poodle race. He spent that night in a Motel 6 chasing down funnel cake with some Wild Turkey. Eventually Murdy checked in with his east coast correspondents that gave him the dish on a Big East showdown saturday night. The money play here is Rutgers. Wally Chitner was wily enough to get a private viewing of two Rutgers practices this week, masquerading as university janitor. What he witnessed may come somewhat as a shock, but the first and second team Scarlet Night defense was running around the practice field frantically trying to apprehend a dozen or so chickens on the loose. After last week's embarassing performance against Pat White and Steve Slaton, Schiano felt the only remedy was to inject some speed in his D. Not just any "run around the cones and back" speed. But some good old fashioned grease lightning speed. The kind of speed that breaks ankles. The kind of speed that peels the skin off your eyeballs. The kind of speed that enabled an unknown Italian to reach the heights of heavyweight boxing. And so another Italian, channeling Mickey Goldmill, had his kids lace their cleats a bit tighter this week and break a sweat chasing flightless birds around the yard. I expect Rutger's to deliver in all phases. Don't be surprised to see the defense bust out a bit of the chicken wing dance after a mighty stop. They operated under the moniker "The Kentucky Fried Idiots." As for the offense, Teel's thumb is better and Ray Rice is still Ray Rice. My Uncle Murdoch slinked into the Harrah's Sportsbook with a plastic jack-o-lantern in hand, stuffed to the brim with moo-lah. He emptied all of its contents, including a load of paper presidents, a couple of tootsie rolls, and a cigar butt onto the counter in exchange for a ticket that read "Rutgers +2." If it's good enough for Uncle Murdy, it's good enough for me. Rutgers will win outright and I will purchase a new plasma tv, for my riding lawnmower.
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Originally Posted by OrionSky
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