1. #1
    stevek173
    Best Looking Poster 2019
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    Funniest joke of the day gets 100 points

    Video preferable

    You have to be pro

    Winner takes all
    Biter gave me 100 points as per Beerdog and I have to pay it forward

  2. #2
    The Giant
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    Steve is of sound mind.
    Points Awarded:

    The Kraken gave The Giant 45 Betpoint(s) for this post.


  3. #3
    daneblazer
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    Yo momma so fat she rocks herself back to sleep trying to get out of bed

  4. #4
    BIGDAY
    angelman.org
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    Where can you find an ocean without water?


    On a map.


  5. #5
    angryitalian
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    On a sunny day at the end of January 2017, an old man approaches the White House from Across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench.
    He walked up to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”
    The Marine replied, “Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn’t reside here.”
    The old man said, “Okay,” and quietly walked away.
    The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”
    The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn’t reside here.”
    The man thanked him and again quietly walked away.
    The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”
    The Marine, understandably a bit agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I’ve told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here. What don’t you understand about these facts?”
    The old man answered, “Oh, I understand you fine, Sir. I just love hearing your answer!”
    The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, “See you tomorrow, Sir.”
    Nomination(s):
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  6. #6
    stevek173
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    Lol man I wish you were pro so I could give you the points

    Solid joke man

  7. #7
    Kermit
    My Finger Smells Like Pork
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    Where did the Pretzel family go on vacation? Pretzelvania.

    My nephew told me that one last week.

  8. #8
    stevek173
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    Big Day and Dane in the lead early

    Just saw Kermit's too - that'd be a good one to tell a kid, I'm not surprised it came from one

  9. #9
    angryitalian
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    Thank you sir
    Quote Originally Posted by stevek173 View Post
    Lol man I wish you were pro so I could give you the points

    Solid joke man

  10. #10
    triplecrown333
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    why do jews make great linebackers? because they want the quarter back
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  11. #11
    daneblazer
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  12. #12
    stevek173
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  13. #13
    IlluminatedOne
    What you think you become
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    Did you ever here the one about the dad who told his son not to jerk off to much or he would go blind, he said "hey dad im over here"
    Last edited by IlluminatedOne; 12-17-16 at 09:30 AM.

  14. #14
    grease lightnin
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    Knock knock

  15. #15
    triplecrown333
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    whos there

  16. #16
    grease lightnin
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    Quote Originally Posted by triplecrown333 View Post
    whos there


    Deez

  17. #17
    triplecrown333
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    deez what?

  18. #18
    IlluminatedOne
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    Fahq

  19. #19
    grease lightnin
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    Quote Originally Posted by triplecrown333 View Post
    deez what?

    deez nutz biatcchhhhh!!!

  20. #20
    grease lightnin
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    You fukked it up illuminated one

  21. #21
    Ian
    Tank Man Lives
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    When I was a kid my father caught me smoking a cigarette, so he bought a carton of cigarettes, sat me down at the kitchen table and wouldn't let me leave until I had smoked the whole carton, all 400 cigarettes, consecutively. After that experience, I can't tell you how glad I was that my Dad never caught me masturbating.
    175 pts

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    175 pts

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  22. #22
    Slipknot26
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    You

  23. #23
    MUHerd37
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    Why do Indian women have a red dot on their forehead? On their honeymoon the new husband scratches it off to see if he won a gas station or motel.

  24. #24
    shadymcgrady
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    Last edited by shadymcgrady; 12-17-16 at 10:36 AM.

  25. #25
    Smoke
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    A police officer was patrolling the highway when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and then pulled down his pants and whipped out his dick. "I guess this isn't your lucky day, pal

  26. #26
    stevenash
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    Got my wife a pair of pumps and a vibrator for Christmas.
    This way if she doesn't like the shoes she can go and fuk herself.

  27. #27
    Fire in da hole
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    Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."

  28. #28
    triplecrown333
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    lol, all pretty good

  29. #29
    Duckshit
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    How does a crazy person get through the woods......


    They take the psychopath.....

  30. #30
    The Kraken
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    I hate being Bipolar... Its awesome!

  31. #31
    bradthebloke
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    woman goes to a doctor, tells him, "oh doctor, what am I to do? Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats the shit out of me. What do I do?". Doctor tells her, "next time he comes home, take some lemonade and just swish it around in your mouth. Do it until he falls asleep and do it every time he comes home drunk". A few weeks go by and the woman goes back to the doctor. She tells him, "doctor! you did it! I did just as you told me. Every time he came home drunk, I just swished the lemonade around in my mouth until he fell asleep. It worked!". Doctor tells her, "You see what happens when you keep your fawkin mouth shut?"

  32. #32
    PittsburghPlayer
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    what is the worst thing about eating bald pussy?

  33. #33
    Da Manster!
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    Q: Did you hear about the new Jewish radial tires?!

    A: Not only do they stop on a dime, but they pick it up as well!

  34. #34
    RudyRuetigger
    Leave of absence until March Madness
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    How many meth users does it take to change a lightbulb?

    4, one to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room spins.




    Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
    With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
    After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
    The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
    'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
    'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'

  35. #35
    Da Manster!
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