I get David Carradine. I think. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all into the autoerotic asphyxiation scene, although I do hear that it’s all the rage. But I think that I can see where he was coming from with the idea of deriving pleasure from pain. Doesn’t that describe the sports gambling scene to a tee? I think it does. The only difference is, if I suffer a heart attack during a crazy 9th inning, my family won’t have to deal with my body being discovered wearing nothing but a ball gag, and cable wire tire tied around my neck and genitals! But I can see what Carradine was getting at.

With that awkward introduction behind us, it’s time to talk Yanks-Sox! Wednesday evening will give us the second of a three game series between the two. Arguably the greatest rivalry in all of sports, these two ball clubs have shared some wild moments that would make Carradine’s special day pale in comparison. It’s always good to catch these games, and even better to cash on a winner.

When Chien-Ming Wang has taken the mound for the Yankees this year, it’s been all pain, no pleasure for fans of the pinstripes. Wang is 0-3, 14.46 ERA this season. It’s been a year that has seen him as a starter, injured, coming out of the bullpen, and back in the rotation. Last Thursday was his first game back as a starter, and he gave up 5 ERs in 4.2 IP. The good news is that that poor performance brought down his ERA.

Wang-handled in Boston


The Red Sox will counter with righty Tim Wakefield, who is putting together another nice campaign (7-3, 4.50 ERA). Wakefield draws comparisons to the softer side of sexual fetishes with his 60 mph knuckleballs. Think more handcuffs and feather ticklings than barbed wire and stilettos. His unique style has been driving MLB batters crazy for years.

Many of the key Yankee players have had success against Wakefield. Jeter, A-Rod, Damon, Posada, Matsui and Cano have combined for 22 homers off of him. But the reason that the Red Sox are favored -134 is because of the horribly struggling Wang. The game is in Fenway, and fans will be pulling hard to see the Red Sox take sole control of the AL East.

The Yankees have been hot. Since winning nine straight, they have gone 10-7 since then. Not too shabby. Boston meanwhile, has been quite mediocre, going 14-12 in their last 26. The good news is that they are 6-0 against New York this year, and I get the feeling that if Boston won only 18 games all year, and they all came against their hated rivals, fans would consider that a great season.

Lord knows I’ve had a rough run with baseball the last month or so. Ninth inning comebacks and collapses have brought me a boatload of pain. At least when Grasshopper experienced pain, he could expect a payoff. Hopefully baseball turns around for me soon or I will begin to envy his untimely demise.

As twisted as some might find these comparisons, it could be worse. I could be betting on the Indians-Royals (Royals +131 please!). But save yourself the torture of putting money on Gil Meche or Carl Pavano and just bust out the nipple clamps and electricity. Trust me, it will hurt less.



Rest in bondage