1. 08-14-12 11:10 PM #1
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    Say you're Chris Volstad

    What goes through your mind when you're sitting in the clubhouse tonight?

    You're 0-9. You just got your titties ripped off by the Astros. You are quite possibly the worst pitcher in baseball. You got beat up at Triple-A Iowa, yet for some reason, the Scrubs called you back up to get kicked around again.

    Is he embarrassed to even have on a Major League uniform?

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  2. 08-14-12 11:12 PM #2
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    23 straight starts now without a win.

    Over 13 months and counting since his last victory.
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  3. 08-14-12 11:16 PM #3
    lunchbawks
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    give the guy a break, he pitches for the cubs! he's doing his job and losing games accordingly

    besides, he inspires the AAA pitchers thinking "why aren't i in the majors"

    maybe im just nuts
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  4. 08-14-12 11:16 PM #4
    HoulihansTX
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    He does not care. He makes more money losing baseball games, than any other field of work that he could explore.
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  5. 08-14-12 11:25 PM #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunchbawks View Post
    besides, he inspires the AAA pitchers thinking "why aren't i in the majors
    His ERA at Triple-A Iowa was over 5.
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  6. 08-14-12 11:27 PM #6
    HoulihansTX
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  7. 08-15-12 12:39 AM #7
    agendaman
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    no wonder lou piniella quit / actually i put volstad on one of my fantasy mlb. teams /then got to thinking bout that 0/22 run no coincid. and hedged w/harrell on another team /any early thoughts on strasburg/lincecum tomorrow /paul maholm tom. came across this in his last 8 starts maholm has a 1.20 era and ALL hitters l/r are batting .194 vs. him /so my hookup is /maholm kershaw wainwright king felix of course 2 cheap sleepers rogers/milw and gonzalez /balt. then if any dough left work w/halladay and dickey gl now
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  8. 08-15-12 01:43 AM #8
    starfire
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    If I were Volstad...
    I would
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  9. 08-15-12 01:47 AM #9
    lunchbawks
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    Quote Originally Posted by starfire View Post
    If I were Volstad...
    I would
    i would jump for joy every morning if i got an MLB paycheck
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  10. 08-15-12 01:55 AM #10
    Crofta
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    You said it Bawks. Rather suck as a pitcher and earn millions than be the best janitor and earn $40k.
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  11. 08-15-12 01:58 AM #11
    EVPlus
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    The power of rationalization is truly a majestic thing.

    Volstad is probably thinking: "It could be worse. I could be some poor schmuck working a crappy job."

    The guy working a crappy job is thinking: "It could be worse. At least I have a steady paycheck."

    The guy living off unemployment checks and food stamps is thinking: "It could be worse. I could be homeless and starving."

    The guy living off the streets and dumpster diving is thinking (as he glances at the sports section of the newspaper before using it as toilet paper: "It could be worse. I could be this fool Volstad."

    And the circle is complete.
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  12. 08-15-12 02:01 AM #12
    Avenger
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    Quote Originally Posted by lunchbawks View Post
    give the guy a break, he pitches for the cubs! he's doing his job and losing games accordingly

    besides, he inspires the AAA pitchers thinking "why aren't i in the majors"

    maybe im just nuts


    pure awesomeness. And probably half true.
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  13. 08-15-12 02:03 AM #13
    Avenger
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    This thread is turning into pure awesomeness.
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  14. 08-15-12 04:30 AM #14
    2daBank
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    Quote Originally Posted by starfire View Post
    If I were Volstad...
    I would

    yes because he has such a rough life? i mean the guy gets paid more than any of us and not only does he play a gm he isnt even all that good at it, if anything we should all be suicidal for not locking this gig up, i mean im pretty confident i could lose every gm i start and id do it for half the price, damn what ya'll be saying bout me..
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  15. 08-15-12 11:54 AM #15
    CertainValor
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    He'll likely be on someone's Double A club or in an independent league next year, making considerably less money. And in order to ever get back to the bigs he'll have to be better than he's pretty much ever been (3.00 ERA territory), because once you are this bad, you have to fly back to where you once where; walking won't get you there.

    So he's likely just trying to enjoy what will be his last weeks in Major League Baseball.
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  16. 08-15-12 12:01 PM #16
    HoulihansTX
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    How long does it take to lock in an MLB pension? I would bet that Volstad has locked that in.
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  17. 08-15-12 12:12 PM #17
    RJKing
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    I'm sure the Blue Jays would take him in a heartbeat. J.A. Happ is their stud now.
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  18. 08-15-12 12:39 PM #18
    shooms79
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    Cant fault Volstad. If anyone of us were getting paid to pitch in the majors with mad money, we would, regardless of outcome. (yeah we would try to win, but u think any of us degens would pass on the money...) With that being said, i blame the cubs organization. I though Theo was "traded" to them to fix $h!t up...whats gives? Not to mention the mess he left boston in.
    So questions of the day - who is to blame?
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  19. 08-15-12 12:56 PM #19
    Regul8er
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    As long as he's getting paid 7 figures, he could care less...and probably laughs every night before he falls asleep!
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  20. 08-19-12 01:26 PM #20
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  21. 08-19-12 01:27 PM #21
    HoulihansTX
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    This outting started off promising
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  22. 08-25-12 11:00 PM #22
    Brock Landers
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    He pitches tomorrow...

    The Cubs are SO bad, but at Home, they are somehow over .500
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  23. 08-25-12 11:54 PM #23
    kaspersports702
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    Its gotta be similar to what goes on in peoples minds when they post picks on forums, even after years of losing...

    Something like that.

    At least Volstad doesnt ever pretend to be good at what he does though, he knows hes shit.
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