Monday night the most beautiful women in the universe will gather for the coronation of the fairest of them all. And yes there are odds, which is just another reason to watch!
The Fantastic Five
The Philippines will host dozens upon dozens of drop-dead divas who will strut their stuff at the Mall of Asia on Sunday night, vying for the title of Miss Universe. Yes, it's being held at a mall, a rather incongruous backdrop for the most stunning mannequins ever to roam the galaxy. Here we have under one roof, the largest collection of valedictorians from Our Lady of the Immaculate Complexion sharing space with the fat guy shoving a Cinnabon down his throat while he ogles this most sumptuous buffet of flawless femininity with even more zeal than the endless shrimp special at Red Lobster. Without further ado, let's take a peek at our betting favorites to capture the title of Miss Universe in 2017.
Miss Colombia (Andrea Tovar) – 4-1
Miss Columbia is a cocoa-skinned honey with mahogany eyes and is the Miss Universe odds-on-favorite at 4-1. The lovely Miss Tovar is a college graduate interested in…yeah, I don't care either. Anyway, she looks the part and the Latin American countries have become a hotbed of international beauty contestant contenders.
Miss Peru (Valerie Piazza) – 9-1
I am so deeply looking for a flaw on Miss Piazza that the only thing I can come up with is that she's no Mike on the baseball diamond. It's as though someone took a mold of the perfect female and found a way to animate it. Ample décolletage is the most gentlemanly way to put it when referring to Miss Peru's assets, as well as a mane of auburn hair cascading into a pristine frame that surrounds her flawless face, making her an undeniable contender for this year's prize.
Miss Philippines (Maxine Medina) – 12-1
The contestant from the host country must always be considered when assessing your Miss Universe picks, particularly when she is succeeding last season's winner from the same nation. Although, if I am to be nit-picky, there is something manufactured about her looks that cause me to consider the possibility of an expertly crafted nose job. If she does win, could there be a Nosegate in the pageant's future? Discuss among yourselves.
Miss Great Britain (Jaime-Lee Faulkner) – 14-1
The swimsuit portion of the event has already come and gone with the big news being that all contestants were instructed to wear one-piece swimsuits. Nothing like harkening back to WW2 Betty Grable pin-ups to wow a crowd in the new millennium. Yes, it was a bust - because we could see little of them. Nevertheless, Miss Great Britain has a rockin' bod that she has proudly displayed in previous competitions without the one-piece cover-up. I know this because I have a magic box named Google. I believe she could be a dark-horse in this thoroughbred competition.
Miss Costa Rica (Carolina Rodriguez) – 16-1
I think it's common knowledge the most beautiful women in the world hail from Costa Rica which is why Ms. Rodriguez gets my vote. She's just another in a long line of stone-cold stunners from the sun-kissed Central American nation and she's got a better chance than most at a price that makes me want to take a plunge into Miss Universe gambling waters.
Miss Universe Pick: Miss Costa Rica at 16-1
Best Line Offered: at PaddyPower