1. #36
    TheMoneyShot
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    You can't be saying bullsh#$ on TV while kids across the world watch the show. Makes TNT look bad.

  2. #37
    lakerboy
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    Barkley is awesome.

  3. #38
    packerd_00
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grits n' Gravy View Post
    Doesn't matter what color Williams is, he should lose his job. The guy is paid to be an honest reporter and he straight up lied about a story to the national viewing audience. No way he pulls a Clemens and "misremembered" that he wasn't in fact on a chopper that took fire in combat.
    People hate War liars.

  4. #39
    jjgold
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    Bottom line Cousins has immense talent

    Barkley will get fired eventually as he will stay something real stupid where they have to fire him

  5. #40
    mikejamm
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    Charles Barkley....best golfer in the NBA! Hell, I'd challenge him to a bet on every hole, and I don't even play golf!

  6. #41
    face
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    will just make him more popular
    who are his detractors?
    jealous types and goody two shoes
    maybe some overly logical people
    most folks think he is fine

  7. #42
    importmoon
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  8. #43
    rm18
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    I think Barkley is only going to work one more year(his choice)

  9. #44
    BigSpoon
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    Bottom line Cousins has immense talent

    Barkley will get fired eventually as he will stay something real stupid where they have to fire him
    If he got fired by TNT some other networks would gladly scoop him up.

  10. #45
    jjgold
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    He is an un educated fool

    His anger is showing on television

  11. #46
    jjgold
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    DeMarcus Cousins rips Barkley

    Updated: February 14, 2015, 6:37 PM ET
    By Ohm Youngmisuk | ESPN.com






    DeMarcus Cousins responded to Charles Barkley's criticism of him by saying he simply doesn't care about anything that comes out of the Hall of Famer's mouth.
    "It ain't personal," Cousins said when asked about the TNT analyst. "I mean, I don't really respect the guy, but at the same time, I don't really care what he thinks either.
    [+] EnlargeAP Images/Rich PedroncelliDeMarcus Cousins recently was criticized by TNT analyst Charles Barkley for reportedly having input on the Kings' hire of new coach George Karl.


    "I don't respect him and I don't care what he thinks."
    Barkley recently was critical of theSacramento Kings' All-Star center and even used an expletive to describe how disgusted he was when discussing reports that Cousins was consulted by the Kings before they agreed to hire head coach George Karl last week.
    "Why are they discussing it with him," Barkley said during a TNT telecast. "Yeah, I am totally disgusted with that. ... He hasn't done enough to deserve that type of power. [The Kings] stink. Why would you give a guy that young that type of power?
    "If you're a Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Shaquille O'Neal, Hakeem Olajuwon or somebody like that, yeah, you deserved that type of power after you have earned it. Let me just say this either way, that's just total [garbage]. That's ridiculous."
    Cousins responded Saturday by saying, "I mean, that's Charles being Charles."
    "A lot of people don't really know the real story about it," he said. "I never really had anything to do with it in the first place."
    Barkley and Cousins are two of the best basketball products to come out of the state of Alabama, and both were selected fifth overall in their respective NBA drafts.
    But Cousins said in a Bleacher Report feature last year that he felt Barkley has been critical of him since the former NBA great watched Cousins play in an Alabama high school state playoff game and talked to reporters.
    Cousins also felt Barkley stuck up for Paul Westphal after the former Kings coach suspended Cousins for conduct detrimental to the team in 2012. Barkley played for Westphal in Phoenix.
    When asked if Barkley is considered an authority because of his opinions on television, Cousins didn't seem to agree.
    "I wouldn't necessarily say he's anybody of an authority," Cousins said. "I would just say he is very comfortable on the television."

  12. #47
    BigSpoon
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    Could see Cousins wanting out of Sacramento soon, that organization is a joke. Hardly any talent around him and a different coach every year.

  13. #48
    Plaza23
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    I watch Always Sunny in Philadelphia and they never bleep bullsh$t out. Its on cable, same tier as TNT.

  14. #49
    LordVodka
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    I guess they see Barkley as part of the NBA and they don't want to associate with that type of behavior.

  15. #50
    darrell74
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    Kenny the jet smith probably would have been fired-he's black...
    ...other black guys would have burned for that shit
    ...Warren Sapp just got burned for a hooker-he's black

    My point: Race isn't the issue, its star power that gets him to where he is.

    ...also, Don Cherry on hockey night in Canada is white, and he has said a lot of inappropriate things about European hockey players

    Don Cherry is to hockey as (old white man)
    Charles Barkley is to basketball (old black man))))

  16. #51
    darrell74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Plaza23 View Post
    I watch Always Sunny in Philadelphia and they never bleep bullsh$t out. Its on cable, same tier as TNT.
    excellent point

  17. #52
    darrell74
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMoneyShot View Post
    You can't be saying bullsh#$ on TV while kids across the world watch the show. Makes TNT look bad.
    Maybe you can, when its late enough on basic cable

  18. #53
    goldengreek
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    Charles is AWESOME and tells it like it is

    Here are some great quotes from sir Charles...Most of these are old


    "I don't know anything about a lot of things, but I would ask somebody and try to make a fair, honest decision for the majority of the people. Not the rich, not the poor, not the black, not the white. When you get elected to public office, you're supposed to represent everybody. Your job is not to take care of the rich or the poor or the black or the white. Your job is to take care of everybody."



    "The Republicans are full of it. The Democrats are a little less full of it."

    On her 17-year old daughter not dating yet: "Thank goodness. I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted."

    "I always thought if a big man can't get 10 rebounds a night, he shouldn't be playing. Any big guy who can't get 10 rebounds a night, that [ticks] me off. That's why the game [ticks] me off at times, because rebounding is strictly just hard work. Come on now, a big guy's gotta get 10 rebounds. That's hard work and effort. I always thought scoring was overrated. If you want to score a lot of points, all you have to be is a gunner."

    [b]Asked if he had ever been in the governor's office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. "They don't let many black people in the governor's mansion in Alabama," he said, "unless they're cleaning." [/B

    A classic '92 Dream Team quote, after the USA played Angola and Charles had elbowed an Angolan national team member in the chest. When asked about it, he responded: "I shouldn't have done that. He probably hasn't eaten in weeks."

    On Stromile Swift and his yet unrealized potential: "He's one of those guys. We're gonna be saying for years it's time for him and the time is going to be over. It's frustrating for me, man, when I see a guy with that kind of ability. I think we can fairly say the jury is still out, but we've been saying that for (six) years. You know, one of my favorite lines on television and he's in that category, is, man, that boy can run and jump. So can a deer. But I'd never put a deer in a game."


    "I do have one question: Have you ever seen Gollum, John Clayton and Sam Cassell in the same place before?"


    "It's always about the superstars. When you went to Chicago, you weren't gonna mess with Michael. When you go to LA, you weren't gonna mess with Magic. When in Boston, you weren't gonna mess with Larry. But when you go to Houston, you could beat the hell outta Kenny."


    Just before the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship began: "I'm trying to get my game to peak tomorrow. My only goal at these tournaments is not to come in dead last."




    July 11, 2006


    "The only thing Christian Laettner has in common with Larry Bird is they both pee standing up."

    At one point in the season, a player threw a ball into the crowd out of frustration and was penalized. They showed footage of the man that got hit by the ball being taken away in a stretcher and his daughter was crying. Charles commented that players take passes to the face all the time. He topped it off by saying: "You know why that little girl's crying? It's because she's thinking 'my daddy's a wussy'".


    June 16, 2006


    To Kenny: "Tiny Archibald didn't even know you were alive before today...(when you called) he said, 'Kenny who?'"

    [From the 2005 playoffs] "Steve Nash is willing his team to win. He has that mentality of Michael Jordan, Larry Bird and Magic Johnson, and says 'we're not going to lose tonight.' It is fun for me to watch because he represents everything that is good about the game."

    [From the 2005 playoffs] Kenny Smith on the Fruit of the Loom label taped to Barkley's suit: "So now we know (if you wear) boxers or briefs."
    Barkley: "(My underwear) don't even have sizes anymore, they just say 'HUGE.'"


    June 07, 2006


    "I'm rich, man. I can't be hitting people. It's a liability issue. Especially with all these white people in the crowd at golf tournaments. I can see the headlines: 'Charles Barkley kills white dude with a golf ball.' I don't need to be looking for my Al Cowlings."


    June 2,2006


    Ernie Johnson: "Okay, you're threatening to hit me again."
    Charles: "Threatening is when you won't do it. I'll do it."

    Barkley: Reggie was the stunt double in Brokeback Mountain.


    Ernie Johnson, on Reggie Evans being caught grabbing the rocks of Chris Kaman: "(Reggie Evans) got caught with his hand in the cookie jar."
    Charles Barkley: "Ernie, I don't know where you get your cookies at but the rest of us don't get ours there."


    On a new TV show called "My Boys", which starred a blonde, Jordana Spiro, as a sportswriter. "Sportswriters don't look like that. They’re more like the troll variety."

    On Steve Nash: "I’ve only said this two times in my life, but that's a bad ass white boy."

    After a Brokeback Mountain joke showing Barkley and Kenny's heads superimposed onto the bodies of the film’s gay cowboys: "I was behind Kenny! I was the Mountain part. He was the Brokeback."


    "Do I have a gambling problem? I do have a gambling problem, but it's not really a problem because I can afford to gamble."


    "He (Popeye Jones) got ears like Reggie Miller and Grant Hill - they can all hear with the best of them."


    When asked about his daughter getting to the age where she's going to start dating, Charles said, "I figure if I kill the first one, word will get out."

    At a press conference before the Dream Team played Angola: "I don't know anything about Angola, but I know they're in trouble."

    While with the 76ers he was asked what the game plan was. He said, "to score more points than the other team".


    Talking about the Portland Trailblazers and their inconsistent play: "You never know what team is gonna show up on a given night, but you can bet they will be high."


    I'd never buy my girl a watch... she's already got a clock over the stove.


    March 23, 2006


    "Hey Kevin, let me tell you somethin. There are subliminal messages, and there are real messages. Like, if I hit somebody in the head with a hammer, that's a real message. When I offer you Altoids..."

    "All those critics of Steve Nash last year, they should all shut up."

    Kevin Harlan: "Here is Hakim Warrick... from Syracuse University."
    Charles: "I gotta call Jim Boeheim. They gotta get a weight room up there."

    Barkley (on David Letterman): I'm black and when I was growin up a lotta black people weren't sayin we gotta hurry up and grow up and move to Oklahoma. You never heard that, Dave! You know? We wanted to go to New York City, Philadelphia, Miami... none of the brothers said let's grow up and move to Oklahoma.
    Letterman: I assume there are black people in Oklahoma.
    Barkley: We got to assume that! We never been there!


    At the dunk contest, as Josh Smith put a piece of tape down a ridiculous distance away from the hoop and the guys thought he was trying to jump from that point, Charles says: "That's impossible... that's like Dick Cheney trying to find another hunting partner."


    On politicians: "You get two rich guys arguing over who's conservative and who's liberal - and you go, now, they just argued for an hour, and nothing got solved."

    Reggie Miller: "Gonzaga. That's my dark horse."
    Charles: "They ain't that dark."

    "When you play for the Wizards, [Gilbert Arenas] is like Michael Jackson. He's playin with a lot of Tito Jacksons."

    After Kenny agrees with Charles about a statement during Andre Igoudala's dunk -
    Kenny: "I think that's the first time we agreed on anything"
    Charles: "We both think you're ugly"
    Thanks Rufus!

    Kevin: "Iguodala was on fire!"
    Charles: "He wasn't on fire. He was just excited he got to shoot in a game."

    On Andre Iguodala scoring 30 points at the Rookie-Sophomore game: "He's just getting all that shooting out of his system before he goes back to work on Tuesday."

    There was an on-screen graphic of the huge contracts the Knicks have doled out to account for one of the league's worst records, to which Charles replies, "I guess $123 million doesn't go as far as it used to."


    "That's not a flagrant! I've been kissed harder than that... By Kenny!"
    -Sir Charles while watching a recap from Miami @ Minnisota game while DWade was fouled.


    "Being black or white isn't an accomplishment. What you do with your life — or what you accomplish with your life — dictates what you should be proud of."

    Barkley on Seattle Supersonics guard Ray Allen in the three-point contest: "He's got the most effortless jump shot in the NBA. His shot is like my golf swing - no wasted motions."


    Reggie Miller, after reigning three-point shooting contest champion and New York Knicks guard Quentin Richardson was eliminated in the first round: "To sum it up short, that's the way the Knicks season has gone all year."
    Barkley: "Short? I don't even think midgets are that short."


    "When I saw [Nowitzki] in Germany before he got to the NBA, I told him 'I'll give you any amount of money you want to go to Auburn'."


    Kenny Smith: "The Knicks beat Detroit the other day."
    Barkley: "Even a broken clock is right twice a day."


    At halftime of the all star game, in response to seeing Beyonce in the crowd, Barkley said, "All I wanna know is when ya see someone that pretty, how can you go to Brokeback Mountain?"

    When David Letterman asked if he was looking forward to attending All Star weekend, Charles replied "I am now. I was supposed to go hunting with Dick Cheney."


    February 07, 2006


    "I just wish all these young black kids would realize how significant it is to stop acting a fool out there, killing each other, not getting their education. You know, people have died to put us in a situation to be successful."


    When asked to say something about the L.A. Sports Arena: "This place? Nothing positive. OK, I want to say something positive. It's positively a dump."


    "I'm not going to argue with you, Ernie. I'll hit you in the left eye."

    On Allen Iverson wearing a throwback jersey: "You know when you get a certain age you shouldn't be allowed to wear throwback jerseys. Throwbacks don't look good at the parent-teacher meetings"

    January 10, 2006


    "Black people get treated like crap in this country. White folks who don't have money get treated like crap. So listen, if you don't like it - Don't watch! Okay Ernie, let's talk about basketball."
    Thanks Kenny!

    "You know like you go to a big city they have like Ruth's Chris or Morton's Steakhouse? If you in a small town you gonna get a Sizzler and that's it."


    Charles (To Kenny) : We both think you're ugly
    Kenny: I'd rather be smart than beautiful
    Charles: Well you're 0-2 (0 for 2)


    "I'm gonna go home and get naked again in the mirror cuz I don't look like Rerun or Al Roker. There's some deception going on. I'm not fat y'all! I'm big-boned."


    November 30, 2005


    On Phil Jackson handing out books to his team: "He needs to give that team a Bible. Only God can help them. They're terrible."


    Here's one in response to San Antonio's opening night victory over the Nuggets, which includes Reggie and Charles trying to pronounce Fabricio Oberto's name.
    Charles: "That's bad news for the West."
    Ernie: "It certainly is."
    Charles: "Because San Antonio, number one, with Tim Duncan and Ginobili playing basketball all summer...They won it last year, and they're much better, I think Nick Van Exel is going to be a great addition, and Michael Finley, and I can't pronounce that big kid's name, but he's gonna play well also."
    Reggie: "Francisco Oberto!"
    Charles: "Oh, you bilingual now!"



    November 11, 2005


    "Hey first of all, I love Mark Cuban. He ain't never gonna know more about basketball than me. I ain't never gonna have as much money as him, I'll never know more about computers, but he'll live to be 1000, and he'll never know more than us two about basketball. If he knew that, he wouldn't have put that little 'soft cake' team together."

    November 7, 2005


    After seeing Mark Cuban wearing that ugly blue jacket: "Wow, all that money and he dresses like Craig Sager."

    November 2, 2005


    After the spurs received their 04-05 championship rings: "They [The NBA] could save some time and just give em the rings they're gonna give em next year."

    October 29, 2005


    "If I didn't have my gambling problem I would never work at all." Thanks Ryan!
    "...that light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes it's a train."


    Jay Leno - "You ever bet on something and just said: This is crazy?"
    Barkley - "Sunday night Jay. I bet on the Houston Texans. I have no idea what I was feelin. I'm like, I call my guy I said, 'Houston's gotta win a game sooner or later don't they?' I'm thinkin ok they on national television. Every jock gets excited when they on national television. There's no way you gonna embarass yourself... I was wrong."


    Ernie: "Here's Shaquile O'Neal, he's put on 15 pounds in the offseason, all muscle he says."
    Charles: "That's what all fat people say - 'It's all muscle'"

    To Kenny the Jet, who was late to work: "When we say go on at seven, that don't mean black folk time."

    On hypnotism today on the Oprah Winfrey Show, in regards to his terrible golf swing:
    "I went to go get hypnotised so I would get rid of the yips with my golf swing....all i got was a good nap."

    October 14, 2005


    According to the Chicago Sun-Times TNT's Charles Barkley entered Rosebud Steakhouse in Chicago on Monday night and said to the bartender: "Why don’t I buy everybody a drink to congratulate them on their White Sox, because I know there’s not a lot of winning teams in town right now."

    On why he doesn't vote: "You're voting for who'll do the best for you, and I don't like that system. You should vote to help everybody."

    While watching someone in Australia put $1 million worth of rubies on a table: "Damn, must not be any black folks in Australia. You can't just leave $1 million worth of jewelry lying around the 'hood."


    When asked why blacks excel at basketball: "It doesn't cost anything to play."

    "Sports are a detriment to blacks, not a positive. You have a society now where every black kid in the country thinks the only way he can be successful is through athletics."

    October 10, 2005


    Post Hurricane Katrina:
    "A lot of kids just think about playing sports instead of being doctors, lawyers or even reporters. That's why you have to get your education. You cannot be at the mercy of the government."

    "It's a really tough situation - sad and unfortunate, but hopefully, it's a wake-up call for people who are less fortunate. I stress a lot you have to get your education, especially black kids, poor white kids and Hispanic kids."
    "You know what's amazing to me? America. There have been so many people who have stepped up, and I'm just proud to be an American. Yeah, there were some mistakes made, but I don't play the blame game. Let's move forward and rebuild New Orleans."

    [The reports I've read have mentioned Charles saying he was going to be donating $1 million to relief efforts, with $250,000 going to a charity in Alabama. He also planned to buy five houses in Atlanta to provide housing for evacuees.]


    Barkley: "I tell you what's going to be an interesting team. The Utah Jazz."
    Kenny: "Good interesting or bad interesting?"
    Barkley: "I don't know yet."


    [b]When Charles was playing for the Rockets and the Lakers needed to win one more game to finish up that series (early playoffs), Shaq and he were at the free throw line. Houston was about to win which meant LA had to stay there one more night. Problem was, LA had already packed up and booked flights back to LA, assuming it would be an easy game...Barkley was jawing at Shaq as usual and someone asked him later what he said:
    [Paraphrased] "I was just asking Shaq if he needed a place to stay here in Houston."]

    September 9, 2005

    On Supreme Court nominee John Roberts: "I'm disappointed that George Bush is going to get to pick, most likely, two Supreme Court Justices. I'm very disappointed in that. It's a good thing I don't need an abortion and it's a good thing I don't need an affirmative action job."


    Chris Rose: You used to be called The Round Mound of Rebound. Just how round are you these days?
    Charles Barkley: A few doughnuts away from a complete circle.

    July 22, 2005



    "People who talk on the radio are idiots. It's the worst thing that ever happened to sports -- talk radio."

    On no longer being a republican: "That was until they went crazy, before all those religious fanatics took over. My man (President Bush) started a war for no reason. He's getting innocent kids killed over there."

    July 8, 2005



    [From STEVE KING - Philadelphia Daily News]: When asked about a possible career as an analyst in another field - maybe golf - Barkley said: "Trust me, there are enough jackasses on television right now who think they know about every sport, so I'm going to stick to basketball... If you don't play the sport, then you're just a guy voicing his opinion. Dan Marino would be great on Monday Night Football, but I wouldn't want him coming over to the NBA."

    On playing a celebrity golf tournament: "As long as Chris Webber is playing, I know I won't come in dead last. I know I can at least beat him."


    On the camera shot of Steve Nash's wife and twin baby daughters:
    EJ: And there we see the wife of the MVP and his newborn twins.
    Charles: She's an MVP too!

    July 5, 2005



    Sir Charles, on Bill Maher's show, about the Democratic Presidential Debates, "Al Sharpton need to get out, too. And that sistah-girl (Carrol Moseley Braun). Hey, I love Al Sharpton and I love the sistah-girl, but hey, we can't even get black coaches in the NFL, you think we gonna have a black president?"

    Discussing the revisionist, positive views on Ronald Reagan:
    "Let me say this on that. I don't go to funerals anymore. Because, every time you go to a funeral, even if the person's an asshole you have to sit there and listen to what a great guy they were. And, that's why I refuse to go to funerals anymore. THAT'S THE TRUTH! (He) can be the biggest asshole in the world, but when you go to someone's funeral, you say, 'I'm at the wrong funeral!'"
    Thanks Joe!

    During the NBA finals, Ernie Johnson points to a sign that reads:
    "Barkley = Dumb, Van Gundy = Dumber"
    Barkley responds, "Hey, at least that guy knows who I am. I have no idea who that guy is."

    June 21, 2005

    When asked by Bob Costas why he wants to be the governor of Alabama: "I want to help poor people, Bob. Somehow, I'm going to help poor people."

    Charles on Jim Brown: "He’s not a martyr. He’s an ass."

    When Chuck was asked by the judge if he had any regrets about throwing guy through a window in Orlando he said, "I regret we weren't on a higher floor."


    Earlier in Shaq's career, Chuck's advice: "He needs to learn the 2 words I tried to teach Oliver Miller....I'M FULL!"

    June 9, 2005 - Sorry for the delay - I was on vacation!

    Summarizing Hootie Johnson's stance on keeping women out of Augusta: "Translating it into Ebonics. ... What he's saying is, 'We are golf, we've always been racist and sexist.'"

    "I hope a lot of these young kids look at [Dwayne Wade], who went to college. Everybody is in such a hurry. Hey, the money is not going anywhere... and if you go to the right college, you can get paid there... Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee"

    New Jersey and Washington never looked at a scouting report," Barkley said, referring to the book on Wade. "Every time Dwyane Wade goes left, he stops and shoots a step-back jumper. Every time he goes right, he goes all the way to the basket. I don't think any of these NBA players today ever look at a scouting report. This is just very simple and they're just dumb.

    EJ: "The Wizards have not won a playoff series since 1988."
    Barkley: "That's only because they sucked."

    Kenny: "I think New Jersey has a chance to beat them. If they had Vince Carter all year they'd be the three seed."
    Barkley: "Have you been drinking again?"

    "Isiah Thomas is building a championship team... too bad it's in San Antonio."
    Charles Barkley on the Nazr Mohammed deal.


    Ernie: "We're on our way to Detroit, aren't we?"
    Barkley: "Damn, I gotta get my bulletproof vest."


    Charles Barkley on TNT about winning the 1993 NBA Most Valuable Player award: "Oh, that's the paperweight in my office. That was a great honor and the best year of my basketball life. I played with Magic on the Dream Team, I beat the hell out of Kenny [Smith] one night in a nightclub... that was one of the better years of my life."
    Thanks John!

    Charles responding to an Orlando Sentinel poll that showed that 62% of respondents did not want the Orlando Magic to re-sign free agent Shaquille O'Neal: "Just shows you that 62% of the people in Orlando are stupid."

    On his attempts to lose weight: "I'm trying, but food just tastes too damn good!"


    Sir Charles to Steve Kerr: "Hey Steve, no offense, but if you couldn't shoot, there would be no reason for you to be alive."



    After TNT showed a stat that Charles had the lowest career three point percentage amongst players who took at least 250 3 point attempts in the playoffs - "To whoever put that stat together... 'Yo Mama'".

    "I saw what the governor makes. That's like four hands of blackjack."
    -- Charles Barkley on why he wasn't seriously considering becoming the Governor of Alabama


    "I got two pet peeves: If you watch American Idol, or you're one of those doofuses who dress up as Star Wars and sleep outside, you're a stone-cold loser."


    "I thought it was very weird the way Tony Parker came in today. He was very casual, hugging on his girlfriend a little bit. First of all, the Spurs are not the defending champions. You don't wear an old shirt from two years ago I might add."


    (In the TNT studio when EJ and Kenny brought up the fact that he knew something about throwing people through windows) "He poured a drink on my head! I should've KILLED him!!"


    TNT shows a clip of Scottie Pippen being honored by the Chicago Bulls. Barkley remarks on Pippen's suit, "That's a good looking suit, Scottie looks good from the neck down."


    "Poor People and minorities tend to vote Democrat. That's why they're poor."


    After hearing Kenny & Charles mocking foreign-born NBA draftee's poor English languague skills during their post-selection interviews on TNT in 2002, Commisioner Stern walked up to the podium in between picks, and in front of the live television audience as well as the crowd at MSG, said "You know, when Kenny and Charles first came into the league, they didn't speak English either."


    "People try to compare (Wade) to Michael Jordan, but he's not. Michael Jordan would have guarded Rip Hamilton. Miami said, 'We're not going to put him on Rip Hamilton because he would use too much energy.' [Jordan] guarded Reggie Miller, who is better than Rip Hamilton, and he never got tired. That was why Michael Jordan was the greatest player."


    TNT showed a clip of Allen Iverson saying he was so happy, he wanted to kiss his new coach on the lips. Ernie then asked the crew if they ever felt the same way. Charles said, "I played for some ugly coaches: Billy Cunningham, Jim Lynam, and Rudy Tomjonavich".

    After Ernie asks if Charles has ever been to another country: "I've been to Alabama, that's like a third world country."

    During the Bruno's Memorial Classic Pro-Am: "Cat [Reddick, a female soccer player] was fantastic but when you lose to a woman, it means you suck at something. There are two times when you know you suck at sports -- when you can't beat the women and when you can't beat the smart kids." and later "Like a couple of years ago when I went to the Auburn-Georgia Tech game. We lost and I knew we were in trouble. We couldn't beat the smart guys."

    Ernie was talking about Ray Allen's complaints of Bruce Bowen.
    Charles: It's called defense, Ernie. I wouldn't know anything about it, personally. But I've heard it through the grapevine.

    May 10, 2005



    You can't compare preseason to regular season. Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money."

    On the 1991 Indiana Pacers: "They could be scary if they ever learn how to play basketball, which they haven't yet."

    "These guys who have three or four babies by different women should have their balls cut off."

    Summing up management for the Philadelphia 76ers: "We can't have beer in the locker rooms. I can't have a beer after I run up and down the court for two hours, but they're going to serve it to the guy who's got a wife and two kids to drive home. That is so gutless. They're only concerned about making money."

    As part of a segue for some team that had just lost their series, Kenny Smith said: "Oh look... I got a big one" and he reeled up the sign that said "gone fishing".
    Then Barkley said: "That's probably the first time you have had a chance to say that."


    After Kenny Smith expressed surprised at Barkley's ability to pronounce Suns guard Leandro Barbosa's name, Charles replied: "I'm bilingual. I speak profanity and English."


    I don't have the exact line, but Sir Charles said that if Dwayne Wade is Robin to Shaq's Batman, then Damon Jones must be Alfred [Batman's butler].

    "Mark Jackson says he loves his fiancee so much he would give up basketball for her. Not me. I love my wife but she can't pay the bills like this NBA money can. I'd have to pick John Nash (general manager at the time of the 76ers, Barkley's then-team) over her."

    During the 1992 Olympics in Spain: "I really miss America. I miss hearing if anybody's shot somebody lately."

    Also during the '92 Olympics: "Christian (Laettner) is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys."


    May 5, 2005



    To Kenny: "Oh man! I can't stand the X-Files! I don't believe in Extra-Terrestrials... until I saw your girlfriend one night. She needs to phone home."

    Kenny: Well my brother vincent always told me...
    Charles: Is he still a skycap?

    On the Washington Wizard's poor playoff performance in the early games of the Bulls/Wizards series: "They have the worst shot selection. They take more one-pass shots than any team that I've seen in a long time. No one can get in a rhythm. It's like they're going one-on-one every time. It's frustrating to watch."
    Later, he told the Washington Post: "I don't have to defend [what I said]. The way they play is horrible to watch. I picked them to win the series but I don't know if they can win it now. When I voice my opinion, if people don't like it, they know what they can kiss. There is a reason that teams don't win playoff games ... because they aren't any good."
    Thanks Chris! (via the brilliant daily madness that is Jay Mariotti's column)

    On Magic Johnson's return to basketball: "We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic."


    Charles is recalling a 1986 Philly playoff loss at the hands of the Washington Bullets.
    Charles: "That game, we were up big with 3 minutes to play, and they scored 18 straight points and had a game-winning three at the buzzer..."
    Kenny: "What happened? Did your sphincter tighten in that game?"
    Charles: "No, Doctor J's did."




    April 28, 2005



    "That boy'd be a fool to marry that damn runaway bride."





    April 28, 2005



    Kenny: "I worked out with my brother, Vincent, when I was growing up -"
    Charles: "What do you think this is, Family Tree Hour? People at home don't care who the hell your brother is!"



    April 27, 2005



    "I don't think there's any doubt. Anybody in their right mind knows I'm the best forward in basketball. Well, the only person comparable to me is Karl Malone, but his body is so different from mine. Even my wife loves his body, and that's the main reason I say I'm the best. With a body like that, he is supposed to be awesome. With a body like mine, I'm supposed to be a couch potato."


    To Kenny Smith: "What kind of self-respecting man walks around with only $20 bucks on him?"


    "Of course Yao hasn't gone up against guys his own size, doesn't she realize there aren't any black guys over there [in China]?"
    Thanks Ian!


    Charles: "You mean you don't teach your kids defense?"
    Quin Snyder: "No, we are taking after you, Charles."


    "Craig Sager is the only guy on TV that can't get a date. It is almost impossible to be on TV and not be able to get a date."

    "Hey Commissioner, I would like to tell you that I take great pride that I can say I knew you when your hair was all black!"


    "It ain't even close. Kobe Bryant is a really good player, but to compare him -- I know they have to hype up today's athletes -- but it ain't even close." - about Bryant being compared to Michael Jordan

    April 12, 2005



    "On learning that Don MacLean tested positive for steroids in 2000 (remember MacLean from UCLA?): "Don MacLean. I've seen Don MacLean naked, and he doesn't use steroids."

    "I know we have to work a lot during the playoffs, and that's part of working. But I look at those five months of vacation where I do nothing but play golf and go to Vegas and lay on the bench and be the big sex symbol that I am."

    While honoring Cotton Fitzsimmons, Charles tells a story about his Phoenix Suns days: "He had the roof down. I was like, 'It's like 122 degrees out here. Is it always this hot?' Cotton said, 'You’re going to hell one day, so this will help you get used to it.'"
    and
    "He meant a great deal to me because he brought me to Phoenix, the best thing to ever happen in my life."

    Greg Gumbel: " Happy St Patrick's Day".
    Barkley: "Great. Another reason for the Irish to go out and drink."

    After Ben Gordon made a floater in the Bulls vs. Cavs game...
    Charles: That is one shot that every player should learn
    Kenny: Yea I am teaching my daughter and son that shot.
    Charles: I thought your daughter and son were the same person.

    Charles on how so many NBA players think they are better than they really are, aka his "Playboy Bunny Theory":
    "Most guys think they are married to Playboy bunnies, when in reality they're married to rabbits."

    Question: Any chance down the road of you succeeding David Stern as Commissioner of the NBA?
    Barkley: I think the NBA has been very fortunate to have David Stern, and I'm not just blowing smoke. He is easily the best commissioner in sports today. But I am against working. I think working is overrated, so I have no intention right now, or at any time in the near future, to get a real job."


    The famous lines from Chuck's infamous tv commercial: "These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it."

    "My family got all over me because they said Bush is only for the rich people. Then I reminded them, 'Hey, I'm rich'."


    "I don't care what people think. People are stupid."
    Thanks Ian!



    "Colonel Sanders is the greatest white man that ever lived."

    "I always preface anything I say with 'it's my opinion' I'm not an expert. There are too many guys on television who think they're experts."

    "If I offend someone, I'm not trying to do it. If they get offended, they'll get over it."

    March 16, 2005



    According to Sir Charles, Chris Webber has "become a 6-10 jump shooter. Get your butt in the box and take the ball to the basket."




    March 2, 2005



    At All Star Weekend, watching Voshon Leonard shoot threes:
    Kenny Smith: Voshon Lenard doesn't appear to have the conditioning to hold up in the second round.
    Charles: He's in the condition to hold up his pants.

    February 24, 2005



    At All Star Weekend, watching Voshon Leonard shoot threes:
    Kenny: You can see he put on a couple pounds.
    Chuck: A couple? That's an understatement. That's like calling the Titanic a small boating accident. We could wear the same underwear now!

    Talking about Karl Malone and his retirement on Jay Leno:
    Jay Leno: "Karl's in great shape though!"
    Charles Barkley: "Me too. Round is a shape!"
    Thanks Joe!

    "I hope whoever was in charge of the Halftime show is getting their resume ready" - Charles Barkley on the Country Music Halftime show @ The 2005 NBA All Star Game
    Thanks DCAllAmerican@hotmail.com!

    When Chuck was asked if he'd ever used steroids: "No, never. I've always had to try and lose weight. I've never heard the words, 'Charles, you need to bulk up.'"

    On the NHL season being cancelled: "I will always side with the players against the owners because the owners are crooks. Players work their behinds off."

    "That's the same Minnesota team that was a couple of games away from the Finals last year. Do they think that suddenly Flip no longer knows how to coach? That's just stupid. He did not become a bad coach overnight. They should have broken up that team months ago. It's clear they have quit."

    Ernie Johnson said relates a Barkley moment:
    "Like the night he came out on the set at halftime and started eating a hamburger as his own personal protest of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). He said something to the effect that animals were 'only good for eating and testing,' to which I replied, 'You know you might have 'em protesting outside our studio with talk like that.' "
    Barkley: "That's fine, we'll just run 'em down like dogs."
    Johnson: "Oooooh-K ... and we'll be back."
    PETA was not so amused.
    "It was alarming to say he would run us down like dogs," Lisa Lange, vice president of communications for PETA in Los Angeles, said Thursday.

    "Everybody is automatically better when they play with Shaquille O'Neal. Look at it this way: We haven't heard anything from Devean George or Derek Fisher. Rick Fox retired. All those (Lakers) guys were good players, but they are not nearly as good without Shaquille. We didn't even know (Heat guard) Damon Jones was alive three months ago, and now he's leading the league in thee-point shooting because his man is camped in Shaquille O'Neal's lap."

    On the Lakers chances to make the playoffs: "I think the six, seven, eight, nine, and 10 seeds in the West are going to fluctuate a lot in the last couple months, but you can go ahead and plan your vacation after the regular season if you are associated with the Lakers."

    "People keep saying I'm crazy as hell, but sooner or later they're going to realize I know what I'm talking about."
    .



    After TNT's Kenny Smith said that the Indiana Pacers' Jermaine O'Neal believes that he is the best forward in the NBA, Charles Barkley said, "Well, I think I am skinny, but that doesn't mean I am."

    Charles to Kenny: "If you think Tony Parker is better than Manu Ginobili, you need to stop drinking before you come in here."

    "In the old days, you didn't take two days off for a hangnail or a yeast infection like they do these days. I can't believe a guy would sit out of a game for a broken nose. I played with a broken nose. I strapped one of those head gears on, couldn't see side-to-side, so I took it off like a man and played. I saw Larry Bird do it too. You can't sit out with a broken nose. You don't need your nose to play basketball."

    Said to Karl Malone: "Hey, have you totally given up on the Rogaine thing?"

    "Danny Ainge has to realize that some of the best basketball players are some of the best dumb guys in the world. Until he learns that, the Boston Celtics will not be successful. You don't go to Harvard and Yale to get great basketball players...you go there to get lawyers and accountants. You have to go to the ghetto to get the good players. You have to learn that Danny Ainge." -- Barkley, on Ainge's plan of finding "smart" players.

    "I owe basketball every single thing in my life, because I grew up a poor kid. All these kids aren't going to make it to the NBA, but one thing about sports is it can give you a chance to go to college. And that's what I think more kids should use college for instead of trying to make it a profession."

    Charles Barkley: "I'm so sick of fat people."
    Kenny Smith: "Why? You can't live with yourself?"
    Barkley: "First of all, they killed Oreos. You know they can't make the Double-Stuff Oreos anymore because fat people can't keep their mouths shut. Now they're killing the McDonald's super-size. Can you believe that? Just because fat people are lazy and don't work out and can't keep they're mouths shut, they have to ruin it for everybody. They'll probably kill ice cream next! Is that my fault they can't stop eating? I'm so sick of these fat people suing these companies. Stop eating!"

    Barkley - "Byron Scott just got out of the hospital."
    EJ - "For what?"
    Barkley - "He got stabbed in the back."

    "Carson, if you're watching, I would prefer to be called a big, young, strapping lad." - Charles Barkley, on being called "cute" by Carson Kressley from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

    "You should be able to go and pick out one fan a game, and just beat the hell out of him." - Barkley, after watching footage of Denver fans throwing garbage on Latrell Sprewell.

    Charles: How much do I have to pay if I leave the bench to kick his (Bill Laimbeer's) butt.
    A teammate: I think 150,000 dollars.
    Charles: I'll do it!

    "Most sportswriters don't know their ass from a hole in the ground."

    "Kobe Bryant is like OJ Simpson - you know, the guy who killed those two people."


    "Back in the old days, Paul Silas and I almost had a couple of fist fights and I would have kicked his ass. If I was Sam Mitchell, I'd just get (Alston) in the locker room one night, mano y mano, and just kick his ass...but that's just me."

    Latrell Sprewell: "You don't know anything about fashion, Charles."
    Charles Barkley: "Both you and Craig Sager think that when you put on a famous designer's clothing, we are supposed to give you a pass on it."
    Sprewell: "Hey, a lot of people like what I wear."
    Barkley: "Is that Prada?"
    Sprewell: "That's right."
    Barkley: "What is that...the black J.C. Penney's?"





    December 2, 2004



    How can it be fair to ask fans of a team that already stinks to pay full price for a seat, and then be told to 'be patient' while a 19-year-old kid learns how to be a professional? Ticket buyers don't get to say, 'I'll pay you full price in four years when Kwame Brown or Eddie Curry is ready to play.' The fans have every right to resent that.

    On James Jones logging heavy minutes for the depleted Pacers: "I didn't know he was alive until this week."





    November 24, 2004



    Ainge: (to Barkley in the locker room) How is your back?
    Barkley: Like your face. It needs surgery!

    Anytime a fan touches you, you have the right to beat the hell out of him.





    November 15, 2004



    This thing with Ron Artest, it's just stupid whether you're old school or new school. I would love to see one of these young guys defend this -- then I'd know they were stupid also.





    October 29, 2004



    On rumors of Micheal Jordan coming back: "That would be stupid. ... Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever. I love him like a brother. ... (But) if he came back again, it would just be like: 'You know what, I just can't give it up. I can't give adulation up.' And that would disappoint me greatly. I'm very content being as good as I was. If Michael can't be content being the greatest basketball player ever, it becomes a point where your ego just runs amok."
    Thanks Joe!

    On becoming a GM of an NBA team soon. Where? "Anywhere I want to. I'll tell you what - I could do a lot better than some of the [expletives] who are running teams right now."





    October 5, 2004



    On a Vegas golf course...
    Tiger: I hear they're going to build a new Super Kmart here.
    Barkley: Yeah, where?
    Tiger: In the space between your ball and mine.
    Thanks Fendi!


    I always say two things: Black people will borrow money and not pay you back and white people cannot dance. If somebody wants to think that is racist, I said it in humor and jest. If somebody wants to make it into racism, I don't worry about it.





    September 2, 2004



    About Craig Sager wearing a reflective silver suit to the 2001 NBA All-Star game: "I don't have anything against black people, white people or any kind of people, but when you start letting pimps interview people, that's where I draw the line."
    Thanks Chente! (this has to be one of the all-time great Charles lines)

    On a TNT telecast a few years ago, Kenny Smith was going on and on about his two championship rings. He said that, in a show of appreciation for their efforts, he gave one ring to his father and the other to his brother because "they were the ones who helped me get them". Charles quipped, "You should have given them to Hakeem."


    On the USA Olympics Team's recent Olympic performance: "It's a copout to say we didn't send our best team over there. They just don't know how to play. If these guys aren't scoring, they don't do anything else to help their team win."






    July 8, 2004



    I trust the public to have a little common sense. If they're not smart enough to have a sense of humor, they're just stupid and I don't worry about it.
    Thanks Howard!


    The only problem I ever had with the Rockets was all those coin flips or lotteries. They must have had two or three rabbit's feet in their pockets all those years. How in the hell do they keep getting all those centers? Moses (Malone), Ralph (Sampson), Hakeem. Now Yao (Ming).





    June 24, 2004



    On Detroit Piston point guard Isiah Thomas: "Isiah will cut your balls off in order to win."
    Thanks Ryan!

    On his eating habits: "People say I eat a lot. I really don't. More or less I just eat all the time."
    Thanks Ryan!

    On his image: "Sooner or later, I'll probably get what i deserve. I'll probably be dead and gone, but people will say, 'That mother was awesome.' "
    Thanks Ryan!

    On being late to a January 19, 1987, Philadelphia 76ers **** meeting before a game against the Phoenix Suns: "These games interfere with my soap operas."
    Thanks Ryan!

    To a heckler that said he would never win a championship ring: "Yeah, but I've got $20 Million, so I can afford to buy one."
    Thanks Ryan!





    June 15, 2004



    Barkley never worries about being politically correct. "If you don't want an honest answer," he said, "don't ask the question."

    I made a birdie, all hell broke loose, that's when the sky fell in. I can't remember the last time I made a birdie.

    I'll tell you what was really funny was ... we always thought it was an insult when they put (Bird) on one of us, because he was the worst defensive player ever.

    Barkley, to George Clooney: "I'm depressed, I finally met a guy better looking than me."
    Thanks Jake!





    June 7, 2004



    When you have that big monster [Shaq] on your team, even when he doesn't want the ball you should throw it to him.

    My life is fun, man. I played basketball for a living, and now I get to talk about it. You can't beat that.

    Politics is too corrupt. You know how you can tell politics is corrupt? President Bush is going to raise $250 million for a job that pays $400,000. Now tell me there isn't something wrong there.

    You can't leave all that money to your freeloading family. When it's time for the Chuckster to keel over, I'll be dead broke.

    Golf is a technique. You can go to the corner 7-Eleven store, take the fat, bald guy from behind the counter and teach him to play golf. But you ain't gonna teach him to make the NBA

    Ernie (to the panel): In one word, who's gonna win the Heat/Hornets series?
    Michael Redd: Miami
    Kenny Smith: Toss-up
    Barkley: That's two words, stupid!

    Karl Malone and Gary Payton were great in their day, but they're not in their day.
    Thanks Jan (from Poland!!)!





    May 26, 2004



    They (the Lakers) don't care if Michael Olowokandi gets points. If he explodes... he's gonna get 8.

    We as black folks have to do a better job... . Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard...


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    May 19, 2004



    "That's why I never played defense. You could get hurt playing defense."

    While looking at Milwaukee's NBA playoff media guide: "This is a waste of money. I think that a team shouldn't be able to have a media guide until they make it through the first round."

    "Hard fouls are part of the game. This ain't the WNBA."

    On Los Angeles beating San Antonio in the Western Conference Semifinals -"Unless Gary Payton and Karl Malone have gotten any younger since Sunday, there's no way they're gonna beat the Spurs." [Whoops! Charles isn't perfect, after all. -ed.]
    Thanks Carla!

    To AC Green, in a pre-game shootaround "If god's so good, how come he didn't give you a jump shot?"
    Thanks Toma!

    After a loss to the Bulls in the early 90s: "It's the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife."
    Thanks Toma!





    May 7, 2004



    After a Miami road loss: "Dwyane Wade's game is not traveling with him."

    When asked about a game played the night before, "You think I watch basketball on my off days?"

    On Gary Payton and Karl Malone: "They're closer to the hall of fame than they are to a championship"
    Thanks Joe!

    Rick Carlisle is a great coach, but he has the personality of John Kerry
    Thanks Joe!

    Kenny: "This time they said something in my ear, did you hear them?"
    Barkley: "Nah, actually this time they said something about your momma!"
    Thanks Arthur!





    April 26, 2004



    Hard fouls are part of the game. This ain't the WNBA

    On having to work on a Sunday for a TNT-aired double-header: "Man, I can't believe they are going to have us in here working on Sunday. I was going to go to church."

    Cassell shooting over (Earl) Boykins is like shooting over a chair.
    Thanks Joe!

    On Barry Melrose being a better dresser than him: "I like Barry, but he's wearing double-breasted suits. That is so last millennium."

    I'm happy for Miami that they made it to a number four seed. I thought they were going to suck this year.





    February 26, 2004



    When talking about the dunk that Ricky Davis completely screwed up at the 2004 All-Star weekend's dunk contest: "The operation was a success, but the patient died."


    Chuck on Vince Carter: "Half Man, Half Season"
    Thanks Raven!

    Charles: "I just want to know what thing, what's up with your hair?"
    Steve Nash "That's strictly for the ladies, Charles."






    February 19, 2004



    On Vince Carter: "If you just want to be one of the guys, then cut your salary and make what the other guys make. They don't pay you a lot of money to blend in. There's a reason Shaq makes $20 million a year. You can't just blend in -- you have to lead the team."

    On his way to watch a Nascar race at Talladega one time, Barkley said he saw a bunch of "Confederate flags flying around," and went back home.

    After finding out a guy from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" had called him a Hottie: "I don't like being called a hottie. I want to be called a big, strong, sexy man. Now Rick Fox, he's pretty."

    I watch a lot of basketball, and I ain't never heard of Lawrence Frank.

    Danny Ainge called me. I have to apologize to him. Even though he's doing a lousy job, he doesn't want me to say that on TV. Danny Ainge is a good friend of mine. He's made some terrible trades, but he doesn't want me to say that on TV, so I apologize.

    First of all let me say i am supporting John Edwards. I could've come tomorrow night but John Edwards is no Clint Eastwood.


    On Kevin Eubanks being a vegetarian: "I don't trust people that don't eat meat. Hey Kevin, you know what the difference between me and you is? When I die, I'll die because I was eating bad food. When you die, they'll say 'wooo that Kevin, he as dead as Charles'"

    Best socio-political analysis: Charles Barkley, of course. After Beyonce Knowles' halftime show, during which she removed nary a stitch of clothing but made Janet Jackson look like an overanxious has-been, Chuckster said, "I think in America that gay people should be allowed to get married. I think that's their business. But when you see Beyonce, why would you want to be gay?"





    February 12, 2004



    I just have to sit back and laugh about that. America is a funny place. Should she have done it? Probably not. But it's not like she started a war or something just to make money. I wish people were more irate with the Bush administration for starting a war for profit than they are with Janet Jackson for showing her breast. But that's America ... we don't know what's important and what's not important. It's much ado about nothing. It's not like she's going to traumatize anyone. Everyone is all offended now and bent out of shape. Give me a break. There are a lot of trashier things on television that what Janet Jackson did.

    "When you have that much talent, you don't get to say 'I just want to blend in.' That's not the way it works. It's up to the great players to make the other scrubs better. It's up to Vince to put his teammates on his back and carry them. That's the responsibility of being a great player. Kevin Garnett can't just say he wants to blend in with the other guys. Shaquille O'Neal can't say that; Allen Iverson can't say that; and Tracy McGrady can't say that. Great players have to play great and they have to lead. You're not one of the guys -- you're better than everyone else. That is why you're an All-Star and you get the highest salary. If you just want to be one of the guys, then cut your salary and make what the other guys make. They don't pay you a lot of money to blend in. There's a reason Shaq makes $20 million a year. You can't just blend in! You have to lead the team." -- Barkley, on Toronto guard Vince Carter

    At the 1990 game, the Eastern Conference All-Star team was surprised when Charles Barkley raised his hand in a **** meeting and said he'd like to sketch out a play for the opening tipoff. "This is one we used when Moses [Malone] was in Philadelphia," said Barkley. So Barkley stood, took the chalk, went to the board and drew four players running back to defend their basket. "That sumbitch NEVER won a tip," Barkley said as everyone cracked up.





    February 7, 2004



    Charles and the gang interviewing Jermaine O'Neal: "Hey Jermaine, did you see Sam Cassell in The Lord of the Rings?"


    On the All Star Game Starters: "That's why you don't let fans vote. Let them come to the game and clap."





    January 23, 2004



    Charles to Ernie on Jeff Burton's car(racing in the daytona 500) having an ad for the NBA all star game on its front: "Y'all didn't have enough money to get Jeff Gordon?"
    Thanks Rakesh!

    On Elton Brand playing for the terrible Clippers: "I feel sorry for Elton Brand. He is an unbelievable player, but he has to spend his whole life in purgatory."


    Charles Barkley, to TNT colleagues Ernie Johnson Jr. and Kenny Smith: "I'm the smartest person on this set. You two are just here for decorations."

    "If (NBA personal trainer) Tim Grover can teach Darius Miles to shoot, then he deserves a lifetime achievement award."

    On Kobe Bryant's wanting to test the free-agent market: "First of all, he's a superstar, he's winning championships and he says he wants to try something different. It's going to be different if he's not playing with Shaq. He'd better sign with the Lakers and play with a player like Shaq for the rest of his career (or) he'll be like Allen Iverson, Tracy McGrady and Kevin Garnett - good players on bad teams."





    January 16, 2004



    On Devean George playing with 4 Hall Of Famers: "Anybody can play that spot with those 4. If Devean George played for any other team in the NBA, we wouldn't know he was alive."




    January 15, 2004



    On The Knicks Blockbuster trade which saw them recieve Stephon Marbury: "It doesn't matter because they are in the Eastern Conference. If they were in the west they wouldn't beat the Lakers or the Spurs. If the Knicks played the Lakers and Spurs 100 times, they would beat the Knicks 100 times."
    Thanks DCAllAmerican@hotmail.com!

    On why he likes foreign players: "They play really hard, and they don't have posses. They come over here and they work hard and they are not spoiled. America is the greatest country in the world, but we have some spoiled ..."





    January 5, 2004



    When people talk about Katharine Hepburn, she's called an icon. She had an affair for 20 years, but Kobe is called a slut. And what about Rudolph Giuliani? He had two women fighting to get into the (New York) mayor's mansion. But Kobe is a slut.

    I think the stuff that was said is a little personal, and let me say this, if y'all ever call me fat on the air I'm going to beat the hell out of you. There is going to be some hell breaking loose on this set.

    "He was like the guinea pig for Rogaine for black men." -- Charles Barkley, on Karl Malone.

    "Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season." -- Barkley, talking about Vince Carter.

    If you're a grunt for CNN, those people are exploited. The guy behind the camera I talk to, he's exploited. This guy is making $17 million, and he's exploited? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Rasheed Wallace is making $17 million and has been making almost that much for the past five years. He's way overpaid.
    I saw Charles Manson do an interview once and he sounded normal too...Ron Artest has cost that team homecourt advantage.

    "You know what Ernie? Damn! I mean the good damn. There are different kinds of damn. This is not the kind of damn that you use to describe Mike Tyson." -- Charles Barkley, on the picture of Serena Williams in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

    "You've gone plum damn goofy on the first night." -- Barkley, after Kenny Smith said that Yao Ming is the best player in Houston.
    "That guy's got hot breath just like Kenny." -- Barkley, after TNT aired a shot of a male Hawaiian dancer with fire in his mouth.

    I never said that San Antonio had all these fat women. That has been bothering me. All these women who think I said they were fat, I apologize. Then when I go to Dallas people tell me that I have nothing good to say about Dallas. First of all I think Dallas has a good team. I feel bad they think that. You think LA has the best-looking women in the crowd... they do, but they are not real ... they are made out of plastic. For normal women, who have their own God given bodies, Dallas has the best looking women in the NBA. Unfortunately, I am not going to get to see anymore of them in Dallas.
    I played football for one day. I gave my equipment to the coach and said 'Thank you, this is a bit to stressful for me'.





    December 21, 2003



    The problem with the Lakers is, now they have more guys to keep the ball out of Shaq's hands.

    Cleveland has a lot of boneheads on their team. They have somebody named Ira Newble who got suspended by trying to go after Paul Silas. Paul Silas is getting soft in his old age. In the old days he would have kicked his butt. A guy named Ira Newble that don't play should shut up.





    December 1, 2003



    "Women be milking it!" -- Charles Barkley, on how it's easier for a woman to give birth than for a man to play an NBA game on a sprained ankle.





    November 30, 2003



    When the Los Angeles Clippers were playing the Seattle SuperSonics in Japan, Charles Barkley said on TNT: "If we get lucky, maybe they will keep in the Clippers over there."

    Plugging a sponsor of TNT's NBA broadcasts, Charles Barkley said, "Wendy's has the best salad bar." To which his announcing partner Ernie Johnson said, "How would you know?"

    On Nuggets forward Nene Hilario, who has legally changed his name to Nene: "Nene is going to be a great player, but you can't give yourself one name until you've accomplished something."

    After TNT aired a promo during its NBA coverage for the network's Winston Cup "Happy Hour" and Busch series coverage, Charles Barkley said, "The only thing that sounds good about this whole NASCAR thing is Happy Hour."





    October 24, 2003



    I don't know what the hell Dallas is doing, but it ain't gonna work. They'll be fun to watch, but they're not going to win in the playoffs. They might win that StreetBall tour going around, but they should've learned by now, you can't win an NBA championship trying to outscore somebody.





    June 16, 2003 -



    On Saddam Hussein: "I think he's still alive. . . . Look at Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein - they used to both work for the United States and now they're enemies. That's part of the hypocrisy that goes on here."
    On the flak celebrities get for their anti-war beliefs: "That's part of the hypocrisy that goes on when you're in the limelight - if you say something, you're anti-American or unpatriotic or too liberal. We're all free to say what we want to, but if you ever forget your place, we'll put you back in your place."

    On high school star LeBron James entering the NBA draft: "I don't think it's fair to the fans because when you draft a high school player, you know he can't help your team for two or three years. That means you're just ripping the fans off for two or three years."





    May 21, 2003



    TNT's Charles Barkley, after watching a clip of San Antonio's David Robinson getting hit in the groin area by the Lakers' Robert Horry: "It's always funny when it happens to someone else."


    Barkley on the quality of the Eastern Conference playoff games: "If we have to watch these entire Eastern Conference games, we want a pay raise!"

    We'd have only crime and war to watch on TV if not for sports.

    I don't have time to put up with ... politics. Who's a Democrat? Who's a Republican? Who's liberal? Who's conservative? Man, can my daughter just go to a school and not get killed?

    If Dallas or Sacramento win more than one game against San Antonio, they should throw them a parade.





    April 16, 2003



    If you're working at Wal-Mart and have 10 kids, quit having kids.

    Are the games this boring when I'm playing?" -- Barkley on April 15, 1993 after watching from the bench in street clothes because of a shoulder injury.

    You know the world is off tilt when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest basketball player is Chinese and Germany doesn't want to go to war.



    March 10, 2003


    Barkley on Jordan and the playoffs this season: -- "As much as I love my brother, we have to get the fishing hat ready for him. They are not going to make the playoffs."


    Golf and sex are the only two things that you can be bad at and still have a good time.

    Dan Rather should have killed Sadaam and the 30 billion could have been used to fix up our education system.





    February 20, 2003


    Poor black people are in great shape. Black people use duct tape for everything. You break a chair, use duct tape. Your pants rip, use duct tape. You tear your ACL, use duct tape!" -- Barkley, on the nation's warning to the public to buy duct tape.

    "He will probably win, but that movie [Gangs of New York] was terrible" -- Barkley, predicting that Daniel Day-Lewis will win the Oscar for Best Actor.


    "If he can make Adam Sandler funny, then they should give him the Oscar right now." -- Barkley, on Jack Nicholson, nominated for About Schmidt, being paired with Adam Sandler in a upcoming movie.






    December 06, 2002


    On the Portland Trail Blazers serving Thanksgiving meals: "In between arrests they do community service."
    Thanks Wizznutzz!

    "I love sam cassell, he's a great guy... but he does look like E.T."

    After the Atlanta Hawks announce the game's attendence (16,000): "If there was 16,000 people there, i'll walk from here to oakland."
    On the Timberwolves' bench, nick-named 'The Zoo Crew': "The zoo crew? Must be a petting zoo."





    November 22, 2002


    "First of all, you don't want the Chinese mad at you: They can fight!"
    Thanks Wizznutzz!

    Yao Ming makes Sean Bradley look like Bill Russell. You say he's gonna get 19 points in a game? Why dont you go without eating until he [Yao] gets 19 points in a game? You'll weigh about 12 pounds!"

    "When you said it, I thought you bet me he was gonna get 19 points in one WEEK, but you said he was gonna get 19 points in one GAME!"

    You know what he [Yao] said? "Whew! Even white guys can play over here!"

    "He [Kenny] said Yao Ming's gonna get 19 points. If he gets 19 points in a game, I'll kiss [Kenny's] ass."

    "You're the boss, Ernie. The white guy's always the boss."

    Kenny: "There's guys who go over to Europe and play overseas from America, and they dominate!"
    Charles: "Those are called 'brothers'"





    November 06, 2002


    After Kenny Smith declares Yao Ming is the best player on the Houston Rockets: "Next thing you're gonna tell me is that Robert Horry and Rick Fox are the Lakers best players."

    After Cleveland suffers an embarrassing opening night loss: "You know what they're saying in Cleveland? 'When do we play Golden State?'"

    On the Utah Jazz: "When your two best players are 40, you got a problem."

    To Kenny: "Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too close, kissin his!"





    October 10, 2002


    In response to why his team (I think the Rockets, this was a while back) couldn't win a championship: "Bad team, man. Bad ****ing team."
    Thanks Ben!





    April 26, 2002


    "It's kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house."

    To Kenny: "You know the thing that was amazing about that game? Between the two of y'all ya had 60 points that night, his [Hakeem's] 51 and your 9."

    "He [Kenny] knows basketball and I know a little bit, but I'm just here for good looks."

    On seeing the now AOL sponsored playoff brackets: Charles: "The AOL Brackets now Kenny!"
    Kenny: "I can log on!"
    Charles: "No you can't Kenny. They lost 54 billion today. You can't log on."




    March 24, 2002


    On the olympic sport, curling: "I'm still trying to get my grandmother off her old behind and into the Olympics. Why not? She can dust."

    Arriving at a Knicks game and being swarmed by reporters: "You want to talk to me? I guess it's not like you have a team to cover."

    On the Enron scandal investigation: "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool."
    "Any time something bad happens to a black person because of racism, I feel it in my soul. I really do. You take the Abner Louima case. That let me know one thing: If some white guys wanted to stick a plunger up a black guy's butt, and I'm the black guy who happened to be around, I'd have a plunger up my butt."





    February 28, 2002


    "I had to explain to my daughter why that skank Monica Lewinski has an hour special on HBO this weekend."

    To Ernie: "You should be more concerned with your forehead getting bigger every year."

    Reading a book cover: "'Broadcasting for dummies'? This is for you, Ernie."

    "They say it about brothers, but I can guarantee everybody in Finland look alike."

    Ernie: Do the Knicks have any chance of turning things around?
    Charles: Heeellll No!

    Ernie: What's the Knick's problem right now?
    Charles: They no good.

    To Kenny: "That's what I just said! I hate when you repeat after me and try to sound intelligent."

    "Scottie Pippin? I thought he retired!"

    "Kenny - you aint got no sterno, have you?"





    February 15, 2002


    CB asfter seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: "Phone home." And later he remarks to Kenny, "Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he's not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon."


    "I play ghetto golf -- I talk the whole time."

    "If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."

    EJ: "Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort." Sir Charles: "20 pts and 10 rebounds will get you through also!"

    This was right after Peja won the 3-point contest: "Kenny said it was going to be an all-international night. I want to know which international brother is going to win the slam dunk contest."
    Thanks Rob!

    "Today is Jimmy Hatter's birthday -- he's the gay guy we got workin' behind the scenes, y'all. We hire them all at TNT. We do not discriminate. We hired the pimp last year, Craig Sager, and now we got Jimmy Hatter. We got all the ethnic groups covered."





    February 12, 2002



    "Nick, Nick, Nick - You're a good player, but you are a goof for giving up 26 million dollars. There ain't many black people that got a lot of money and if you give up 26 million dollars, you're just a stone idiot.

    To Billy Crystal, the only 'famous' Clippers fan: "How did you not become a Laker fan like all the other phony celebrities?"





    February 10, 2002 - Today's quotes taken from Stuff Magazine



    "This is my schedule: I wake up in the morning, decide where to play golf and drink beer all day."
    "I've been rich and poor. Being rich is better."

    "Damn Ted Turner! Whose idea was it to start these games at nine o'clock? That's some sad shit! When I own this network, there's gonna be a lot of changes around here. Number one - all your asses are gonna be history!."

    "From now on, if Michael or Shaq aren't playing, I aint showing up." [to the studio]

    "we better not be doing the Bulls this year. Man, they suck! Bunch of high school kids with $70 million contracts. Damn! I hate my mother for having me too soon."
    "I'm just what America needs - another unemployed black man."

    "I don't need to be on TV. If I had a good agent, I'd be on Temptation Island. I wanna be around a bunch of naked-ass girls. That's just good television programming."

    "I can't believe we're talking about high school guys being good in the NBA when they average six points a game. I could do that right now, and I ain't touched a basketball in a couple of months."

    On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: "Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey."

    "when I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements."

    "All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine."

    "I always hang out with people with money and make them pay for everything."

    On Vince Carter : "He played like a girl all last year. TV made him a superstar. Now he has to play like one and quit whining."

    "I really don't eat that much. I just, more or less, tend to eat all the time."

    On Peter Vescey calling him fat on TV: "I told him I'm gaining weight and I can lose weight, but he's always going to be ugly. I am not going to jump him on TV because there'll be witnesses. If I beat him up, it's going to be in a dark alley somewhere. The truth is, I'm going to have to get bigger clothes or start hanging out with fat people to look skinnier." "My goals are to play the piano and get really, really, really fat."






    February 9, 2002



    "How long do you think Steve Nash spent on his hair? 5 seconds? 10 seconds?"

    EJ: "Did they recognize you in South Dakota?" Charles: "Yes, they did. It was easy because I was the only black person there. When they see me walking down the street they say 'There he goes again'. And when I come back the next year they say 'He's back yawl!'"

    EJ: "Did you graduate from Auburn?" Charles: "No, but I have a couple people working for me who did."

    "You gotta tell Craig Sager to stop telling other people what I said. They don't need to know my business."

    Barkley to Ernie Johnson after comedian Carrot Top is seen holding Johnson's picture: "That is your oldest son right? He looks like you."

    Barkley on Turner Sports office having a betting pool on his weight: "That is starting to hurt my feelings. I don't mind skinny people making fun of me, we all do that, but I don't want fat people making fun of me."






    December 20, 2001



    Charles Barkley regarding Dan Issels fine when calling a heckling fan a Mexican. "I don't think he (Issel) should have been fined or suspended. Some fans just need to be beaten down!"


    "You don't wear Nike, it's going to happen. They gave him all that money to wear those cheap Filas." -- TNT's Charles Barkley, re: Grant Hill's foot injuries.

    "Everybody should have the right to be honest. Only in sports and celebrity can you not be honest." -- Barkley quoted in a profile on HBO's Real Sports.





    December 16, 2001



    Barkley on Hanno Mottola, who, as EJ remarked "is the first NBA player from Finland". Charles replies: "Of course he is the first NBA player from Finland, he's the only person in Finland."





    November 16, 2001



    EJ asked Charles why the Bulls were losing so many games this season: "Because they are a bad team...The NBA needs contraction. The Bulls are a disgrace to the league and to themselves."

    When the Dream Team was about to play the Angola national team, during pre-game interviews the other USA players provided diplomatic, face saving comments about how they would play hard and felt strongly they would win. When Chuck was asked about Angola and the game, he replied: "They're in a lot of trouble."

    Last weeks Rocket-Sixers game was 35-35 at the half: "Thank God for the new defensive rules, this could have been 25-25!"






    November 12, 2001



    "They run like deer, jump like deer and think like deer." - Charles Barkley on the Portland Trail Blazers.
    Thanks Laurel T!





    November 4, 2001



    This one's old but great: "The NBA's in disarray - a white guy won the slam-dunk competition. We need to have another Million Man March." Sir Charles responding to L.A. Clippers rookie Brent Barry winning the slam dunk competition.
    "Tonight's a good night for bad, crappy players." Barkley talks about the new NBA rules for the 2001-2002 season.
    "I have so many great memories, I thank God I have this huge brain that can keep all these memories stored."
    On Allen Iverson's prowess versus other teams: "I'll never let a one-man team beat me."






    May 28, 2001



    Charles Barkley on his thoughts about retiring before the season: "Iremember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going toretire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'Yougot a pen on you?'"






    May 16, 2001



    "I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."

    "I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime."

    "If push came to shove, I could lose all self-respect & become a reporter."

    On Barkley: "There wil never be another player like me. I'm the ninth wonder of the world."

    On baldness: "Why do bald guys always wear beards? When I started to go bald, I took it like a man."

    "When you're the top dog, everybody wants to put you in the pound."

    "You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world & I might be right."

    "You can talk without saying a thing. I don't ever want to be that type of person."

    "The NBA stands for No Babies Allowed."

    On the All-Star Game: "Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of 'em are right here in this room."
    "I don't listen to the refs. I don't listen to anyone who makes less money than I do."

    On Oscar Schmidt: "Isn't he that guy with Felix Unger?"

    "I don't create controversies. They're there long before I open my mouth. I just bring them to your attention."

    "Pressure is for tires."

    On fines: "I went to bed as Charles Barkley & woke up as Pete Rose."




    May 5, 2001



    I know why his name is DMX. Because his real name is Earl. Imagine if his name was Earl the rapper.

    Barkley on a scuffle between Juwan Howard and Wally Szczerbiak: Both of them are nice guys, but neither one of them can crush a grape between them.
    "It ain't against the rules to make a layup.."

    "You mean to tell me they're holding our plane and soildiers hostage, and we're giving this Chinese guy a three year contract"
    After Wang has a shot blocked: "He's got to bring something stronger than that. That's like bringing milk to a bar, it's not strong enough"
    On the Celtics: "They stink. I could get 5 guys out of retirement, and we could beat them."

    Its half-man, half-amazing. Or as some folks call him: all offense, no defense.

    Barkley's reason for underclassman and highschool kids to stay in school:

    If your homeboys are telling you yo go = don't come to the NBA
    If your family is po' = don't come to the NBA
    If you wanna meet groupies = don't come to the NBA
    If you dont like classes = don't come to the NBA
    If you can't start on a College team = don't come to the NBA

    On the news that the NBA would allow zone defenses: "This is a great day for bad NBA players"

    On Mavs/Jazz game 5: They better get that one over quick, because the streets in Utah close at 10.
    "Crime will be down in NY tommorow, because everyone will be at the game."





    April 22, 2001



    "Anybody can do what they do. You can go to the 7-Eleven and find two guys and they can do their (Albert and Fratello) job."

    Barkley on the Golden State and Sacramento game: "I was watching Sacramento this weekend and some people in broadcasting who are idiots...me not included...said that Sacramento is going to play well without Chris Webber. That is wrong. They are going to be terrible if Webber doesn't re-sign there. Don't be fooled by them winning a couple of games against a bad team. I could get five guys in this studio and beat Golden State."

    "It's not our fault that they schedule us against West Wing, Temptation Island...we need to go against the XFL."

    Barkely on the LA Clippers: "They are not playing bad because they are playing back to back nights. They play bad most of the time."
    “I’m speaking for all the fat people in the world. All the fat people in the world hate skinny people…We hate you Kenny.”

    Barkley after being introduced by host Ernie Johnson: "Why do you introduce us every night? Don't you think everybody knows who we are?"
    Johnson: "Ladies and gentlemen, Kenny Smith, former Houston Rocket, two championship rings."
    Barkley: "Oh that was a low blow...yes, I am defensive about it. What were you gonna say, Charles Barkley, no championship ring?"

    Barkley on his weight: "Everything in the mirror is smaller than it appears...being fat is not fun because when you are trying to get skinny you don't get to eat all the good stuff. Lettuce doesn't taste good unless you put a bunch of dressing on it."

    Barkley on the 10 lbs. weight they used to test the scales accuracy: “That’s nothing. That’s like one little butt cheek.”

    New nickname given to the Celevand Cavaliers' Chris Gattling and Jim Jackson: "Stocks and Bonds" - because they have both been traded so often
    Barkley on Lakers turmoil surrounding Kobe-Shaq feud: "We said at the beginning of the season that nobody can beat the Lakers. If you play that team seven days in a row, you're not going to beat them four times. But, if Shaq and Kobe can't get along, they can't win. That's the biggest disappointment for me, a guy who would kill (to win a championship). I would kill you two (EJ & Kenny) to win a Championship...I think that's the difference between young guys and older guys. I would have killed to play with superstars...two guys in their prime like Michael and Scottie, Bird and McHale, Magic and Kareem. That's the difference, guys today are more concerned with who's running the team, who's taking all the shots and not winning championships."

    Complaining to ref Tommy Nunez about the other refs in the game: Tommy, you got to make that call. You know Moe and Larry won't.
    Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him: “Both of y’all are going to hell for that. Y’all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they’re hot. Y’all are cruel man.”
    Charles Barkley on the Utah Jazz offense: “The reason they execute so well is that they run the same play every time. They’ve been doing it for 15 or 16 years...it’s going to work every time.”

    "The Lakers, the Trail Blazers and the Spurs ... they are the Marines...The Eastern Conference is the Army Reserves."

    “I'll weigh in every two weeks...I have to lose 60 pounds...It’ll take me two months...I have a couple of personal trainers...it’s going to be fun. You know, I have a heavy suit on, a sweater, and a big ass.”

    Barkley on Spurs guard Terry Porter’s age: “I think he and my grandmother are about the same age.”
    Barkley on Al Gore and Leonard Hamilton (Wizards Head Coach): "Two losers who live right up the street from each other."
    Barkley during the Wizards/Timberwolves highlight, when Washington ruined a transition play with a behind-the-back pass: "I can't believe a team that bad is trying to be fancy .. They should be like Princeton."

    (NBA V.P. of Operations) Rod Thorn said, 'Don't hurt anybody.' He didn't say, 'Don't hit anybody.'

    On the new Philadelphia 76ers uniforms in 1992: "They look like my daughter got a hold of some crayons."

    On New York: "I love New York City. I've got a gun."
    On the goal of the '92 Olympic Dream Team when playing Panama in the Tournament of the Americas: "To get the Canal back."

    "I don’t think I run my mouth. That’s just what redneck sportswriters say when you voice an opinion they disagree with. And I don’t think I’m someone who gets in trouble. If someone throws a drink in my face, I’m gonna defend my damn self."





    April 21, 2001



    "Hey Stanley, you could be a great player if you learned just two words: I'm full."— Barkley yelling to 300-plus-pound Houston Rockets teammate Stanley Roberts

    On what it means having Rick Mahorn as a teammate: "All it means is that people will say that I don’t have the biggest butt in the league anymore."

    To a fan in the FleetCenter in Boston: "You guys are two players away from being good again -- Bill Russell and Larry Bird."
    "You know it's gone to hell when the best rapper out there is a white guy and the best golfer is a black guy.""Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them."

    "I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."

    "Ex-teams are like ex-wives. Deep, deep down, you know you can't stand them."

    "You can be as successful as you want to be but you have to push yourself, and the only way to do that is through education. You can't blame your Mom, you can't blame your Dad,you can't blame white people, you have to take control of your own life and make yourself successful."

    Before the Dream Team's game against Angola in the 1992 Olympics: "All I know about Angola is Angola's in trouble."

    "It's really wrong for black people to be racists, because two wrongs don't make a right. White people don't know any better, that's the way they were taught, but black people knowhow it feels."
    On supersized Oliver Miller: "You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it."
    "I try to hit everybody and in that way I'm very consistent."

    "I've always said that my 'playing weight' is whatever I happen to weigh when I'm playing."

    ``Basketball doesn't owe me anything, I owe everything in my life to basketball, everything,'' Barkley said. ``I'm 37 years old. I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams. I have great material things. I've been all over the world and it's all because of basketball.''

    "I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball."

    I won't kill myself. I'm one of my favorite people.

    You know, with most of the stuff I've said, I was just trying to have fun. Everybody laughs, and then they put it in the paper and it doesn't sound funny. That's one thing that makes me mad about the media. The reporters know you're joking, and then they print it. The night I said, "That's the kind of game that makes you want to go home and beat your wife and kids," everybody started laughing. When I read it in the paper the next day, I could see why people were offended by it. I don't think of myself as giving interviews. I just have conversations. That gets me in trouble.

    "Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself."

    As long as Bird is around I will only be the second-worst defensive player in basketball.
    Seriously. Nobody wants to shoot in the last two or three minutes of a game. I do. Somebody has to be the hero. It might as well be me.

    I realize that when I'm in my late forties and fifties I won't be able to walk. But I won't have to work until I'm sixty-five, like most people do. To me it's worth it. I see my grandmother's new house or visit my mother in her new house and ride in her new Lexus. When I signed my first contract, I bought my mother an Oldsmobile. For Christmas three or four years later, I bought her a Mercedes. Every time I think about how bad some part of my body hurts, I think about that. You can't describe what that is like.

    You know what? There's no greater pain to me than being poor. I've been poor and now I have money. That's pain: being poor and struggling all the time to make ends meet. Seeing something that you want and can't have, to me that's serious pain.

    "The only problem I've had with him (Kevin Johnson) is he wanted to go to church and I wanted to go to strip clubs."

    "That's a lot of damn money. And a black man is making it. What a great country. Imagine if he could play."— Barkley on Kevin Garnett's $125 million deal

    "The meek may inherit the earth, but they won't get the ball from me."


    His greeting to new Rocket Elmer Bennett: "Elmer? I ain't never met a brother named Elmer. I can't believe that. A brother named Elmer. I have been alive 33 years, and I ain't never met a brother named Elmer. I've heard of Elmer Fudd, but that's it. They named a fella Elmer."


    On the movie Space Jam: "Obviously, my part is terrific. But Michael (Jordan) is the leader. It's his movie. I think it's going to be very funny, great entertainment for the kids. I hope everybody likes it. But, really, I don't care because I've already been paid."


    If you have a disagreement with somebody, you don't have to apologize to them. I ain't gonna apologize to that motherf***er I threw through the window in Orlando."

    It sucks now. It's the best basketball there is, but it's not good. I'm going to say it, and I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks.

    But [the NBA] don't have to change the rules. They've already screwed the game up; if they keep changing rules, they can just merge the WNBA and the NBA. Anybody in their right mind knows the game used to be better.

    Al Gore's a loser. But he's only the second biggest loser in Washington. The Wizards are the biggest losers in Washington.

    When asked about his grades at Auburn, he said, "As long as I was leading the SEC in rebounding, my grades would be fine."
    On Larry Bird being criticized by teammates for shooting too much: "If you’ve got a Mercedes, you drive it."

    On being misquoted in his autobiography: "That was my fault. I should have read it before it came out."

    On facing Cuba in the ’92 Olympics: "What do I know
    about Cuba? The country is run by a scruffy-looking guy who smokes cigars -– that’s all I know."

    On how Michael Jordan could derive more enjoyment from his celebrity status: "Take security. Or be like me: Just punch a few people, and give them $10,000."

    On his greatest enemy: "I thought Bill Laimbeer was the whiniest, most despicable, most disgusting guy in the game. On the other hand, I always respected him as a player."

    On his retirement: "Just what America needs--another unemployed black man."
    On why he endorses Nike, even though its shoes sell for more than $100: "Hey, they don't stop selling Mercedes Benzes just because some people can't afford them, do they?"

    Barkley in response to Charles Oakley saying that 60 percent of NBA players smoke pot: "What percentage of reporters who cover the NBA smoke pot? My poll is just as scientific as his poll. I am going to say 60 percent of writers smoke pot. I just came up with a number. You don't have to have any facts...you can just throw things out there. I like that."





    April 20, 2001



    "On throwing an elbow at an Angolan: "Well, he might have pulled a spear on me."

    On why he didn’t attend a presidential inauguration: "They’re not my type. I like to be around low-class people, like reporters."

    On New Years’ resolutions: "I think I’ve got to make a stronger commitment to my girlfriends and my family. Well, don’t write down my girlfriends."

    On why he befriended Christian Laettner: "We’re a lot alike, actually. We both attended great academic institutions. And when we walk into a room, women scream."

    On team dissention: "Harmony isn’t important. The only things that matter are winning and getting paid."

    The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.
    On Generation X: "I wish I was young again. I’d make a fortune and the coach couldn’t yell at me."

    "My body was not meant to play the way I do. I'm shorter than most of the guys who play up front in the NBA, the guys who play elbow wars every night , so I've always knownthat someday it would take it's toll."

    It's hard to box out guys if they are good rebounders. If you're going to stand there and hold them, you're not going toward the ball. Somebody will beat you to it.

    On where he wanted his fine money donated: "I was going to donate the money to the homeless, but they would have better houses than me by the end of the season." Nobody gives me anything. Everything I get I earn. I don't want that much from other people. There ain't nothing easy and there ain't nothing free. That's the only rule I know.

    No, that's just going to make my right hand sore from hitting people. I don't mind. I just have to get better at provoking them. I've got to make them hit me first, so they can't sue me. They don't pay me enough money to let people call me any name in the book.
    On his relationship with fans: "I like kids when they’re kids. I don’t like it when they grow up and come to the games and call you names."
    "Just because I can dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids."

    That's true. People don't want to hear the truth. Fat people are discriminated against. That's just human nature. Stereotypes abound. Like all black people are hoodlums, all Jewish people are crooks. That's totally not true. What's even worse, it's considered all right that people think that way. Marge Schott can say "money-grubbing Jews" or "million-dollar ******s," because that's the society we live in. People say it's freedom of speech. That's not freedom of speech. Any woman who has that much power isn't going to hire blacks or Jews. That ain't the worst part about it. The worst thing is that she may go and kiss up to them. When the Reds won the World Series, she was drinking champagne with the brothers and calling them million-dollar ******s behind their backs. I have more respect for the Klan, because when they call you ****** they don't sit there and drink with you.
    David Stern calls me now and says, "I apologize for all the things I said to you in the past. Dennis is a lot worse than you are." (On Rodman)
    "We (athletes) are held to such a higher standard, and we should be. But come on, don't go crazy. Don't make us out to be Public Enemy No. 1 because we do one thing wrong.Athletes do 99 percent good things and 1 percent bad things, and people never let you forget about that 1 percent."

    On Chris Mullin, who had fainted: "If it's your brain, you'll be fine. That's the smallest organ in your body."
    "Unless you're a doctor, ain't nothing important they can't wait to call you about later. How many 19- or 20-year-old kids got something really important happening? We've had beepersgo off in the middle of meetings right before the game."

    "There are people who hide everything inside--and it's guys like that who kill whole families."

    "Any moron can score."

    "Me and Rick (Mahorn) aren't the only players who hit guys with elbows, or who knock guys down hard. But the NBA is really image-conscious. They make who they want to be good,they make who they want to be bad. But I'm not going to be Joe Bob, the All-American role model telling people what they want to hear. You can talk without saying a thing, and I don'tever want to be considered that type of person."

    Two years ago: "The NBA makes everybody a star because they just want to make money. You got guys who can't even play that got jerseys, shoes and everything."

    On a 1990 brawl against Pistons hit man Bill Laimbeer: "I don't know why he wants to challenge my heavyweight title. He's not even among the top 10 contenders.""Dennis (Rodman) likes wearing a dress, I don't like wearing a dress. I tried it on a couple of times in the house, but I do it privately; I don't do it publicly."

    "I like spicy things, to get discussions started, whether we're talking role models or racism, rookies or Rodman. I was chosen for some reason to live this , and if all I do is make a lot of money and never speak out for anybody or myself, that would be a waste. I've said and done some things wrong, but I can honestly say I've done more right than wrong. Am I going toheaven? It's going to be a real close vote."
    On retirement: "In four years, I'll be the first black governor of Alabama. In eight years, I'll be the first black president."

    "Professional athletes should not be role models. Hell, I know drug dealers who can dunk. Can drug dealers be role models too?"
    "If I weren't earning more than $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming."

    "I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five."

    "We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good."

    [B]"Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while."

  20. #55
    goldengreek
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    50. "I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."

    49. "You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world and I might be right."

    48. "I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime."

    47. "We better not be doing the Bulls this year. Man, they suck! Bunch of high school kids with $70 million contracts. Damn! I hate my mother for having me too soon."

    46. "You can talk without saying a thing. I don't ever want to be that type of person."

    45. After retiring from basketball "I'm just what America needs - another unemployed black man.

    44. Ernie: "Did they recognize you in South Dakota?"
    Charles: "Yes, they did. It was easy because I was the only black person there. When they see me walking down the street they say 'There he goes again'. And when I come back the next year they say 'He's back yawl!'"

    43. Right after Peja won the 3-point contest: "Kenny said it was going to be an all-international night. I want to know which international brother is going to win the slam dunk contest."

    42. On the Enron scandal investigation: "Almost all those politicians took money from Enron, and there they are holding hearings. That's like O.J. Simpson getting in the Rae Carruth jury pool."

    41. "I had to explain to my daughter why that skank Monica Lewinski has an hour special on HBO this weekend."

    40. Ernie: "Auburn is a pretty good school. To graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort."
    Charles: "20 pts and 10 rebounds will get you through also!"

    39. "Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself."

    38. EJ: "Did you graduate from Auburn?"
    Charles: "No, but I have a couple people working for me who did."

    37. "Dick Bavetta and Moses parted the Red Sea together."

    36. Ernie Johnson, on Reggie Evans being caught grabbing the rocks of Chris Kaman: "(Reggie Evans) got caught with his hand in the cookie jar."Charles Barkley: "Ernie, I don't know where you get your cookies at but the rest of us don't get ours there."

    35. On his 17-year old daughter not dating yet: "Thank goodness. I just hope she doesn't start before I go in the Hall of Fame. That way, I won't have to kill anybody before I get inducted."

    34. Kenny: "There's guys who go over to Europe and play overseas from America, and they dominate!"
    Charles: "Those are called 'brothers'

    33. After Wang has a shot blocked: "He's got to bring something stronger than that. That's like bringing milk to a bar, it's not strong enough"

    32. Barkley on Turner Sports office having a betting pool on his weight: "That is starting to hurt my feelings. I don't mind skinny people making fun of me, we all do that, but I don't want fat people making fun of me."

    31. "We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good."

    30. When the Dream Team was about to play the Angola national team, during pre-game interviews the other USA players provided diplomatic, face saving comments about how they would play hard and felt strongly they would win. When Chuck was asked about Angola and the game, he replied: "They're in a lot of trouble."

    29. Charles Barkley on his thoughts about retiring before the season: "I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'"

    28. Man, everything gets blamed on the Clintons, every single thing in this world. I think Bill Clinton shot JFK, too.

    27. "I know why his name is DMX. Because his real name is Earl. Imagine if his name was Earl the rapper."

    26. "If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing."

  21. #56
    goldengreek
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    25. After Kevin Garnett threw a ball into the crowd out of frustration and was ejected. They showed footage of the man that got hit by the ball being taken away in a stretcher and his daughter was crying. Charles commented that players take passes to the face all the time. He topped it off by saying: "You know why that little girl's crying? It's because she's thinking 'my daddy's a wussy'".

    24. Barkley on Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith eating a box of hot Krispy Kreme donuts in front of him: “Both of y’all are2 going to hell for that. Y’all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they’re hot. Y’all are cruel man.”

    23. "It's kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house."

    22. "I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five."

    21. Charles Barkley after seeing a picture of Sam Cassell on the screen: "Phone home." And later he remarks to Kenny, "Sam Cassell is a good guy, but he's not going to wind up on the cover of GQ anytime soon."

    20. While watching someone in Australia put $1 million worth of rubies on a table: "Damn, must not be any black folks in Australia. You can't just leave $1 million worth of jewelry lying around the 'hood."

    19. Asked if he had ever been in the governor's office in Montgomery, Barkley said no. "They don't let many black people in the governor's mansion in Alabama," he said, "unless they're cleaning."

    18. On the goal of the '92 Olympic Dream Team when playing Panama in the Tournament of the Americas: "To get the Canal back."

    17. To Kenny: "Hakeem couldn't kick your ass cuz you were too close, kissin his!"

    16. Barkley on Hanno Mottola, who, as EJ remarked "is the first NBA player from Finland". Charles replies: "Of course he is the first NBA player from Finland, he's the only person in Finland."

    15. On supersized Oliver Miller: "You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it."

    14. "All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine."

    13. On North Carolina missing 22 of its last 23 shots in losing to Georgetown in the NCAA tournament last weekend: "Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots."

    12. I'd never buy my girl a watch... she's already got a clock over the stove.

    11. "I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball."

    10. On the Portland Trail Blazers (back when they were known as the Jail Blazers) serving Thanksgiving meals: "In between arrests they do community service."

    9. "Yeah Ernie, its called defense, I mean I wouldn't know anything about it personally but I've heard about it through the grapevine.

    8. "Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them."

    7. "When I was recruited at Auburn [university], they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements."

    6. "Hey Stanley, you could be a great player if you learned just two words: I'm full."— Barkley yelling to 300-plus-pound Houston Rockets teammate Stanley Roberts

    5. "I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."

    4. On the All-Star Game: "Hell, there ain't but 15 black millionaires in the whole country & half of 'em are right here in this room."

    3. On Jerry Krause still being able to keep his job as GM of the Chicago Bulls: "Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey."

    2. After throwing a guy through a 1st floor window in a bar Charles was in front of the judge.
    Judge: "Your sanctions are community service and a fine, do you have any regrets?"
    Charles: "Yeah I regret we weren't on a higher floor"

    1. After an Olympic Dream Team victory over Angola, in which they won 116-48, Charles got into a physical altercation with a member of Angola towards the end of the game, afterwards he says.

    "Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me."

  22. #57
    goldengreek
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    “These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it.”


    Best one ever: Barkley to AC Green, during a game: "AC, if God's so great, how come he didn't give you a better jump shot?"


    During a Suns game at halftime:

    "Whoever think Steve Nash not MVP last year.... shut the hell up!"



    How about when asked about his political platform if elected Governor of Alabama: "Have you heared of death row? Well, if I'm elected Governor, we'll have death WEEK. I'll kill all of those lazy bastards."


    after nate robinson eats a gatorade bar, "You ever notice Gatorade dont ever work on people that suck"


    when commenting on Kenny calling in sick: "I don't understand how you can call in sick, with a yeast infection."


    After commentaries on a specific player's salary not being justified by his game play, to Kenny and EJ, "I would come to the arena in a spaceship!" Kenny and EJ both look at each other and then to Chuck "What?!" Chuck then says, "All these fools getting millions for these sorry numbers?! If I was playing today, I'd be getting billions! Enough to drive a space ship, I tell you that!"


    You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world and I might be right.


    Barkley went to Auburn (which is in Alabama); when asked if he'd root for the University of Alabama(which Auburn hates)to beat the University of Georgia, he said...."If Alabama's playing Afghanistan I'm rooting for Afghanistan."



    "You know Ernie, most people think they married to playboy bunnnies. But they just married to rabbits."



    One time, after a player tossed a particularly egregious brick, Charles says:
    Ernie, that shot was like your prom date
    Ernie: How's that Charles?
    Charles: Ugly!


    talking of the new fresh out of High School NBA players and their level of athleticism... they run like deer, jump like deer, think like deer...


    Upon hearing Michael Vick's prison sentence;
    Charles said:
    "I bet OJ's glad he didn't kill a dog"



    when his coach at Auburn told him he needed to get in shape, he said "round is a shape".


    : he said, "they say the camera puts 10 pounds on you, well i've got about 6 cameras on me right now".

  23. #58
    Menses
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    They are both right and both wrong. Cousins needs to learn to disagree without being disrespectful. Barkley is a hall of famer..who left it all on the court. You can't go around saying you have no respect for the man but Cousins has every right to disagree and he has earned the right to be a little concerned with what management is doing in that organization. He is the best center in the league and the best player on the team and he has worked hard to change his attitude but will always have that chip on his shoulder. Barkley was right but may have been too harsh as Cousins obviously was not consulted about the Karl hire..they fired Malone without consulting him so why would a hire be any different...

    Barkley could be a bit more understanding as him and Cousins are the same person...Barkley had cousins rep back in philly...he was known as problematic...and had twice as many off the court issues as well...like that time he threw the guy threw the window in the bar..LOL...dude had it coming tho....or all the fights he had during games..that got him ejected...

  24. #59
    Bluehorseshoe
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    Barkley is always right. He's the best.

    Since when does a team have to consult with a "DeMarcus Cousins" type player.

  25. #60
    RavensFan2k3
    Handicappin' like I'm Trappin'
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    If he was white he would've been fired a long time ago

    Network doesn't want to deal with the race issue

    He is starting to embarass himself now as he seems more and more frustrated and angry
    How are you a moderator now? SBR just doesnt care anymore

  26. #61
    44 Mag
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    For C..... Sakes, it took me 4 minutes to scroll through that HUGE Ass post, never mind read it. LOL.

  27. #62
    Cross
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    Loves getting that million bucks each year.

  28. #63
    jjgold
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    Cousins will have way more money than Barkley too within 5 years

  29. #64
    lakerboy
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    Quote Originally Posted by jjgold View Post
    Cousins will have way more money than Barkley too within 5 years

    then 5 years after he will be in a ghetto

  30. #65
    Robber
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    Not the first time Charles has lost control

  31. #66
    Regul8er
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    Nothing Big here guys.....Sir Charles has been doing this for 10 years, and has said much, much worse.

  32. #67
    jtoler
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheMoneyShot View Post
    You can't be saying bullsh#$ on TV while kids across the world watch the show. Makes TNT look bad.
    I agree but they curse all the time on regular tv these days. I don't like what Charles said he's the one person the world seems to turn their head when he goes over the top always been that way, one of these days though he's gonna go too far.

  33. #68
    jjgold
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    Cousins laughing at Barkley every day all the way to the bank

    Cousins already has more money than Charlie

  34. #69
    ApricotSinner32
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    have to disagree here, tex, and agree with JJ on this one, on this basis:

    if a white nba commentator was the "best nba commentator", he would nevertheless be fired if he made the same comments barkley did/does...... look at Brian Williams, he's the best, and he's gettin his white ass fired..... If Brian Williams was black, no way in hell they take him off the air for fear of lawsuits, claims of racism, and all the other shit the blacks roll out anytime they fck up and want to blame whitey ---- the chicago little league cheats being the most recent example.....

    hard to believe it, particularly as much as they bitch about being discriminated against and being victims, but in many ways, and the barkley situation proves it, BLACKS HAVE MORE PROTECTIONS THAN WHITES!!!!!!!!!!!



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