Player for Oregon runs 53 yards and throws it away at the 1 for a touchback
These guys probably can't even spell college
http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=11443163
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08-30-14 11:00 PM #1
Another idiot college player throws away the ball before crossing the goal line
Last edited by TheCentaur; 08-31-14 at 02:35 PM.
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08-30-14 11:01 PM #2
They all end up on street corners with the paper bag
And five kids with five different woman
Broke and buried
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08-30-14 11:05 PM #3
Didn't matter SD fumbled next play
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08-30-14 11:12 PM #4
10. Charles Rogers, Unemployed (Former Number Two Overall NFL Draft Pick) - Five children with four different women
Originally Posted by jjgold
Photo: A. Messerschmidt/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
After knocking up two separate women before leaving high school, it’s hard to imagine that five-star recruit Charles Rogers would end up spending the majority of his adult life on police reports and NFL “Where are they now?” specials. As one of the single most talented receivers in college football history, the 6-foot-3 wide receiver entered the NFL as a can’t-miss prospect that Matt Millen claimed would become the face of the Detroit Lions franchise (which, oddly turned out to be sort of true).
Much like Matt Millen (whose ironic new role analyzing college football players for ESPN is sort of like hiring the captain of the Hindenburg to be a safety consultant for U.S. Airways), Rogers was a complete and utter failure. He logged just 14 NFL games before leaving the league in 2005, just in time to collect his fifth mouth to feed and an arrest for passing out drunk at a Mexican restaurant in Michigan at three in the afternoon.
9. Larry Johnson, Charlotte Hornets (NBA/Family Matters) - Five children with four different women
Photo: Ethan Miller//Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
It’s remarkable that a man who was forced to dress up like an elderly woman in order to teach Eddie Winslow an important lesson about morality and nerd acceptance has such little respect for the whole “sex before marriage concept” that 22 percent of Missouri high school students called “the excuse I tell people when they ask why I’m still a virgin.”
Johnson is currently retired from basketball, but did express interest in returning to the New York Knicks in a "leadership role." Seems like a great idea, because what a franchise that specializes in luxury tax payments and sexually harassing employees needs right now is an aging lothario who looked at the script to Space Jam and thought, “I’m totally cool having fewer lines than Shawn Bradley and Elmer Fudd.” (Nothing but smart decisions from a man who lists “not getting that fat” on his list of post-career achievements.)
8. Marshall Faulk, St. Louis Rams (NFL) - Six children with at least four women
Photo: Scott Boehm/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Marshall Faulk must not have been paying attention during Kurt Warner’s annual “Just because Jesus loves you, doesn’t mean he approves of nailing every Cheesecake Factory waitress with a botched boob job and paternity lawyer on speed dial,” speech. Faulk, whose child support payments rival his career yardage, joined the NFL’s “frequent impregnator program” in the late 1990s and has been one of its most valuable members ever since. His commitment to casual sex and inability to decipher the complexities of condom use make him a first ballot shoe-in for the “Is That Kid Mine?” Hall of Fame (which for some inexplicable reason is directly next to the NBA head offices in New York).
7. Ray Lewis, Baltimore Ravens (NFL) - Six children with multiple women
Photo: Elsa/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
As the only Super Bowl MVP to have both family court and federal prison listed under the “favorites” tab of his GPS system, Ray Lewis has become the single most litigious athlete to ever be refused entrance into Disneyland after winning a Super Bowl. (Mickey Mouse wanted to get drunk and use Trent Dilfer as a wingman to score with the slutty Norwegian midget on the “It’s a Small World” ride, instead.)
After using the popular “you can’t technically prove it was me, and not my friend, who repeatedly stabbed that guy” defense to avoid a murder conviction in 2000, Lewis decided to devote his life to family and complaining about his quarterback, telling ESPN that he even sets aside an entire night every week to spend with two of the childrenwhose names he can still remember. (Mostly because one of them is called Ray Lewis.)
6. Antonio Cromartie, San Diego Chargers (NFL) - Seven children with multiple women in five different states
Photo: Robert Laberge/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Call him what you will. “The Phallic Phenom,” “The Prophylactic Prodigy,” “The Knock Up Knock Out,” or simply “The Stork.” The only thing Antonio Cromartie (or as he’s known in paternity court – defendant AH12-1987) has more of than nicknames is illegitimate children. At just 25-years-old, the San Diego Chargers’ standout cornerback continues to show his preference to pigskin over sheepskin every time he visits a different NFL city.
However, before you go blaming Cromartie for his inability to "stop having children," there are a few important things to remember. For starters, Cromartie struggles with difficult coverage and is not so great in “preventative” defensive schemes both on and off the field. Secondly, allegations from a Florida State University tutor claimed that while playing for the Seminoles, Cromartie read at a second grade level, making it possible that he’s been confusing balloons and/or Kit Kat wrappers for condoms. Finally, there’s not a lot of people who like this guy (just ask the gentleman whose head he allegedly smashed a bottle over), so maybe he’s just increasing his fanbase one paternity suit at a time. Quite frankly, there are a lot of possible reasons as to why he’s on pace to father well over three dozen children.
5. Shawn Kemp, Seattle Supersonics (NBA) - Seven children with six different women (though recent reports claim it may be as many as 11)
Photo: TOM MIHALEK/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Even though he may not lead the NBA in paternity suits (or know how to spell the words “paternity” or “suit”), Shawn Kemp has established himself as the face of non-marital baby-making in professional basketball. The former all-star and current McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish-eating champion’s refusal to stop procreating has made him one of the most notable scumbags in the league and the subject of a heart-warming Sports Illustrated cover story titled “Where’s Daddy?” in the late 1990s.
His most talented son, Shawn Kemp Jr., is currently one of the top high school athletes in the country and has committed to play basketball for the University of Auburn next year. If he works hard, eats his vegetables, and refuses to wear a condom, the younger Kemp could grow up to father his own crop of illegitimate children before getting arrested on the side of a Washington highway with cocaine, 60 grams of marijuana, and a semi-automatic weapon – just like the guy who kind of raised him.
4. Jason Caffey, Chicago Bulls (NBA) - 10 children with eight different women
Photo:TheSmokingGun.com
In 2004, the Milwaukee Bucks decided that giving Jason Caffey $11 million to not play for them was the best decision for a franchise that relied on an aging Toni Kukoc. In all fairness, everybody knows that Croatians hit their prime right around 37, though. (It’s almost like the Bucks thought that the massive panic attack Caffey was hospitalized over made him “less than clutch.”)
The early career exit did give Caffey time to focus on his true passion – impregnating random women, as the round mound of bed-pound notched enough illegitimate children to earn him a “failure to pay child support” arrest andbrief cameo on Nancy Grace’s nightly “here’s-why-I-hate-men-athon.”
3. Evander Holyfield, Boxing - 11 children by an untold number of women
Photo: JOHN GURZINSKI/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
As the only active athlete to appear on both The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and America’s Funniest Foreclosure Videos, Evander Holyfield has become one of the most iconic figures in professional boxing thanks to his tremendous work ethic and willingness to fight anybody for $13 and bus fare home. He sacrificed his ear, dignity, and majority of functioning brain cells for the sport, yet all he has left to show for it is two curling teams worth ofillegitimate children and a promising career welcoming tourists to a Las Vegas Blvd adjacent Hometown Buffet.
2. Travis Henry, Denver Broncos (NFL/Colorado Penal System) - 11 kids with 10 different women
Photo: Allen Klee/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Not the sharpest taco in the shed, Travis Henry never seemed to quite grasp the concept of safe sex or sobriety – living his life with a dedication to recklessness that Lindsay Lohan might call “a massive turn-on” if she wasn’t too busy cleaning dried vomit from the dusty mirror she keeps in the car she purchased with her Herbie the Lovebugresidual checks.
As a former NFL running back who led the league in marijuana-related suspensions, it’s fair to say that “decision-making” and “not being a complete a**hole” weren’t high on Henry’s list of strengths at the 2001 NFL Draft. He collected his first failed marriage at 18, started his out-of-wedlock pregnancy streak shortly after, and had enough illegitimate kids to form an entire NFL defense by the time he turned 30. If only he didn’t get sentenced to a few years in prison for his role in a massive cocaine distribution syndicate in 2009, he may have been the only active NFL player to average more children-per-year than yards-per-carry.
Oh, and don’t let the math fool you. Henry didn’t actually sleep with the same woman twice. One of his transgressions resulted in twins.
1. Calvin Murphy, Houston Rockets (NBA) - 14 children with nine different women
Photo: Johnny Nunez/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Do you know any syphilitic, one-legged meth-addicted hookers who like lighting things on fire and talking about commitment? If so, the Houston Rockets alumni association may have someone willing to violate her behind a T.G.I. Fridays while Vernon Maxwell films it.
Not only does former NBA star Calvin Murphy seem to be allergic and/or have a religious aversion to prophylactics, but he also appears to be willing to nail anything with a third grade understanding of room service and reproductive organs. The reigning champion of the baby momma Olympics would actually need to disown two of his children to get under the NBA maximum number of active players if he used his discarded offspring to form an expansion franchise. (Maybe the “Baltimore Bastards” or “Michigan Marital Mistakes?”)
The “and one” on Murphy’s slam dunk of impregnation may be the five different molestation cases launched by his daughters. Don’t worry, though, sports/paternal rape fans - he got off…
The NBA... Where Dreams Come True (provided of course your dreams involve divorce and public shame).
Honorable Mention: Karl Malone, who had his first illegitimate kid in college when knocked up a 13-year-old junior high school girl. He's sort of like the Kerry Wood of bastard creation. Blazing start to his career, but just didn't end on a strong note after getting stalled at three kids.
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08-30-14 11:17 PM #5
Why are the all black? That's adorable. Originally Posted by DiggityDaggityDo
10. Charles Rogers, Unemployed (Former Number Two Overall NFL Draft Pick) - Five children with four different women
Photo: A. Messerschmidt/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
After knocking up two separate women before leaving high school, it’s hard to imagine that five-star recruit Charles Rogers would end up spending the majority of his adult life on police reports and NFL “Where are they now?” specials. As one of the single most talented receivers in college football history, the 6-foot-3 wide receiver entered the NFL as a can’t-miss prospect that Matt Millen claimed would become the face of the Detroit Lions franchise (which, oddly turned out to be sort of true).
Much like Matt Millen (whose ironic new role analyzing college football players for ESPN is sort of like hiring the captain of the Hindenburg to be a safety consultant for U.S. Airways), Rogers was a complete and utter failure. He logged just 14 NFL games before leaving the league in 2005, just in time to collect his fifth mouth to feed and an arrest for passing out drunk at a Mexican restaurant in Michigan at three in the afternoon.
9. Larry Johnson, Charlotte Hornets (NBA/Family Matters) - Five children with four different women
Photo: Ethan Miller//Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
It’s remarkable that a man who was forced to dress up like an elderly woman in order to teach Eddie Winslow an important lesson about morality and nerd acceptance has such little respect for the whole “sex before marriage concept” that 22 percent of Missouri high school students called “the excuse I tell people when they ask why I’m still a virgin.”
Johnson is currently retired from basketball, but did express interest in returning to the New York Knicks in a "leadership role." Seems like a great idea, because what a franchise that specializes in luxury tax payments and sexually harassing employees needs right now is an aging lothario who looked at the script to Space Jam and thought, “I’m totally cool having fewer lines than Shawn Bradley and Elmer Fudd.” (Nothing but smart decisions from a man who lists “not getting that fat” on his list of post-career achievements.)
8. Marshall Faulk, St. Louis Rams (NFL) - Six children with at least four women
Photo: Scott Boehm/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Marshall Faulk must not have been paying attention during Kurt Warner’s annual “Just because Jesus loves you, doesn’t mean he approves of nailing every Cheesecake Factory waitress with a botched boob job and paternity lawyer on speed dial,” speech. Faulk, whose child support payments rival his career yardage, joined the NFL’s “frequent impregnator program” in the late 1990s and has been one of its most valuable members ever since. His commitment to casual sex and inability to decipher the complexities of condom use make him a first ballot shoe-in for the “Is That Kid Mine?” Hall of Fame (which for some inexplicable reason is directly next to the NBA head offices in New York).
7. Ray Lewis, Baltimore Ravens (NFL) - Six children with multiple women
Photo: Elsa/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
As the only Super Bowl MVP to have both family court and federal prison listed under the “favorites” tab of his GPS system, Ray Lewis has become the single most litigious athlete to ever be refused entrance into Disneyland after winning a Super Bowl. (Mickey Mouse wanted to get drunk and use Trent Dilfer as a wingman to score with the slutty Norwegian midget on the “It’s a Small World” ride, instead.)
After using the popular “you can’t technically prove it was me, and not my friend, who repeatedly stabbed that guy” defense to avoid a murder conviction in 2000, Lewis decided to devote his life to family and complaining about his quarterback, telling ESPN that he even sets aside an entire night every week to spend with two of the childrenwhose names he can still remember. (Mostly because one of them is called Ray Lewis.)
6. Antonio Cromartie, San Diego Chargers (NFL) - Seven children with multiple women in five different states
Photo: Robert Laberge/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Call him what you will. “The Phallic Phenom,” “The Prophylactic Prodigy,” “The Knock Up Knock Out,” or simply “The Stork.” The only thing Antonio Cromartie (or as he’s known in paternity court – defendant AH12-1987) has more of than nicknames is illegitimate children. At just 25-years-old, the San Diego Chargers’ standout cornerback continues to show his preference to pigskin over sheepskin every time he visits a different NFL city.
However, before you go blaming Cromartie for his inability to "stop having children," there are a few important things to remember. For starters, Cromartie struggles with difficult coverage and is not so great in “preventative” defensive schemes both on and off the field. Secondly, allegations from a Florida State University tutor claimed that while playing for the Seminoles, Cromartie read at a second grade level, making it possible that he’s been confusing balloons and/or Kit Kat wrappers for condoms. Finally, there’s not a lot of people who like this guy (just ask the gentleman whose head he allegedly smashed a bottle over), so maybe he’s just increasing his fanbase one paternity suit at a time. Quite frankly, there are a lot of possible reasons as to why he’s on pace to father well over three dozen children.
5. Shawn Kemp, Seattle Supersonics (NBA) - Seven children with six different women (though recent reports claim it may be as many as 11)
Photo: TOM MIHALEK/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Even though he may not lead the NBA in paternity suits (or know how to spell the words “paternity” or “suit”), Shawn Kemp has established himself as the face of non-marital baby-making in professional basketball. The former all-star and current McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish-eating champion’s refusal to stop procreating has made him one of the most notable scumbags in the league and the subject of a heart-warming Sports Illustrated cover story titled “Where’s Daddy?” in the late 1990s.
His most talented son, Shawn Kemp Jr., is currently one of the top high school athletes in the country and has committed to play basketball for the University of Auburn next year. If he works hard, eats his vegetables, and refuses to wear a condom, the younger Kemp could grow up to father his own crop of illegitimate children before getting arrested on the side of a Washington highway with cocaine, 60 grams of marijuana, and a semi-automatic weapon – just like the guy who kind of raised him.
4. Jason Caffey, Chicago Bulls (NBA) - 10 children with eight different women
Photo:TheSmokingGun.com
In 2004, the Milwaukee Bucks decided that giving Jason Caffey $11 million to not play for them was the best decision for a franchise that relied on an aging Toni Kukoc. In all fairness, everybody knows that Croatians hit their prime right around 37, though. (It’s almost like the Bucks thought that the massive panic attack Caffey was hospitalized over made him “less than clutch.”)
The early career exit did give Caffey time to focus on his true passion – impregnating random women, as the round mound of bed-pound notched enough illegitimate children to earn him a “failure to pay child support” arrest andbrief cameo on Nancy Grace’s nightly “here’s-why-I-hate-men-athon.”
3. Evander Holyfield, Boxing - 11 children by an untold number of women
Photo: JOHN GURZINSKI/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
As the only active athlete to appear on both The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and America’s Funniest Foreclosure Videos, Evander Holyfield has become one of the most iconic figures in professional boxing thanks to his tremendous work ethic and willingness to fight anybody for $13 and bus fare home. He sacrificed his ear, dignity, and majority of functioning brain cells for the sport, yet all he has left to show for it is two curling teams worth ofillegitimate children and a promising career welcoming tourists to a Las Vegas Blvd adjacent Hometown Buffet.
2. Travis Henry, Denver Broncos (NFL/Colorado Penal System) - 11 kids with 10 different women
Photo: Allen Klee/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Not the sharpest taco in the shed, Travis Henry never seemed to quite grasp the concept of safe sex or sobriety – living his life with a dedication to recklessness that Lindsay Lohan might call “a massive turn-on” if she wasn’t too busy cleaning dried vomit from the dusty mirror she keeps in the car she purchased with her Herbie the Lovebugresidual checks.
As a former NFL running back who led the league in marijuana-related suspensions, it’s fair to say that “decision-making” and “not being a complete a**hole” weren’t high on Henry’s list of strengths at the 2001 NFL Draft. He collected his first failed marriage at 18, started his out-of-wedlock pregnancy streak shortly after, and had enough illegitimate kids to form an entire NFL defense by the time he turned 30. If only he didn’t get sentenced to a few years in prison for his role in a massive cocaine distribution syndicate in 2009, he may have been the only active NFL player to average more children-per-year than yards-per-carry.
Oh, and don’t let the math fool you. Henry didn’t actually sleep with the same woman twice. One of his transgressions resulted in twins.
1. Calvin Murphy, Houston Rockets (NBA) - 14 children with nine different women
Photo: Johnny Nunez/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Do you know any syphilitic, one-legged meth-addicted hookers who like lighting things on fire and talking about commitment? If so, the Houston Rockets alumni association may have someone willing to violate her behind a T.G.I. Fridays while Vernon Maxwell films it.
Not only does former NBA star Calvin Murphy seem to be allergic and/or have a religious aversion to prophylactics, but he also appears to be willing to nail anything with a third grade understanding of room service and reproductive organs. The reigning champion of the baby momma Olympics would actually need to disown two of his children to get under the NBA maximum number of active players if he used his discarded offspring to form an expansion franchise. (Maybe the “Baltimore Bastards” or “Michigan Marital Mistakes?”)
The “and one” on Murphy’s slam dunk of impregnation may be the five different molestation cases launched by his daughters. Don’t worry, though, sports/paternal rape fans - he got off…
The NBA... Where Dreams Come True (provided of course your dreams involve divorce and public shame).
Honorable Mention: Karl Malone, who had his first illegitimate kid in college when knocked up a 13-year-old junior high school girl. He's sort of like the Kerry Wood of bastard creation. Blazing start to his career, but just didn't end on a strong note after getting stalled at three kids.
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08-30-14 11:38 PM #6
You know, I''ve seen a hundred posts like this and I've never seen one of white athletes who have multiple mamas... what gives? Not like all white pros are so paternal and responsible, come on someone post white athletes that have 4 mamas and 5 kids or whatever, I'm sure that condition exists
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08-30-14 11:56 PM #7
Originally Posted by cbiscuit
Scott Skiles
No. of kids / No. of baby mamas: 6 / Unknown
We don't know what's more surprising, the fact that the former coach of the Milwaukee Bucks Scott Skiles is even on this list or that dude actually has some ballers beat in the illegitimate kids category with six. There is no word on how many baby mamas there are floating around. We're just wondering: If Skiles has over a decade of head coaching experience, wouldn't he just opt for some...OK, OK, we'll keep it classy and stop there
Points Awarded:
Stelio Kontos gave DiggityDaggityDo 1 Betpoint(s) for this post.
Nomination(s):This post was nominated 1 time . To view the nominated thread please click here. People who nominated: CWD
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08-31-14 12:00 AM #8
and our tax dollars supporting them. Originally Posted by jjgold
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08-31-14 12:03 AM #9
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08-31-14 12:04 AM #10
I totally forgot about Rogers. He has to be one of the hugest busts ever.
They guy was so talented. Unreal he went to nothing to fast.
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08-31-14 12:07 AM #11
SHUT UP AND PAY YOUR TAXES!!! Get on your knees every morning and be thankful for living in the best country on the planet!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, wait... do you actually pay taxes or do you have 'professional' that keeps you from doing just that? Originally Posted by Urbanwildlife
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08-31-14 12:08 AM #12
Originally Posted by DiggityDaggityDo
Scott Skiles
No. of kids / No. of baby mamas: 6 / Unknown
We don't know what's more surprising, the fact that the former coach of the Milwaukee Bucks Scott Skiles is even on this list or that dude actually has some ballers beat in the illegitimate kids category with six. There is no word on how many baby mamas there are floating around. We're just wondering: If Skiles has over a decade of head coaching experience, wouldn't he just opt for some...OK, OK, we'll keep it classy and stop there
Had no idea about this...hilarious! Little Scotty pointguard... who the hell knew
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08-31-14 12:19 AM #13
3. Evander Holyfield, Boxing - 11 children by anuntold number of women
Well if it's more than 11 there's a real weird story to be discovered there...
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08-31-14 12:41 AM #14
Hawaii about to pull huge upset
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08-31-14 12:50 AM #15
oregon only cares to win.
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08-31-14 12:54 AM #16
Originally Posted by BiTeMe UsAdOj
Nomination(s):This post was nominated 1 time . To view the nominated thread please click here. People who nominated: BiTeMe UsAdOj
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08-31-14 12:57 AM #17
Reverse jinx successful Originally Posted by TheCentaur
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08-31-14 01:02 AM #18
Originally Posted by BiTeMe UsAdOj
under by an ear
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08-31-14 01:25 AM #19
Why are you blaming just the men? What about the women that had children with them before marriage and ended up as single mothers raising their kids in poverty? Do they have some responsibility too?
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08-31-14 01:41 AM #20
lmao a kid in my high school claimed Marshall Faulk was his dad, it made sense since when he was the Colts the ages match up. Fukker looks like him too. No confirmation though.
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08-31-14 08:14 AM #21
guess these guys don't know the pull out method. also probably have as many STDs as children.
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08-31-14 10:52 AM #22
They sure do. But a list of random women would be quite uninteresting. It's a list designed for athletes. And I'm pretty confident some of these women wanted to be pregnant by this "star". Originally Posted by snapperman2
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08-31-14 10:56 AM #23
This is how it is in nature.
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08-31-14 11:03 AM #24
Next time you run across a woman with 11 children to 10 different fathers, let us know if they are not copping some "blame" too. Originally Posted by snapperman2
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08-31-14 11:04 AM #25
Yes high taxes in certain areas of Country are because of minority irresponsibility
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08-31-14 11:15 AM #26
dont hate the player hate the game
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08-31-14 11:25 AM #27
And all those damn kids on social welfare and we are paying the bill jj! Don't forget that demo n a z i crappies working for their stupid ass vote! Originally Posted by jjgold
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08-31-14 11:25 AM #28
And of course all blue states jjgold. State the facts man. Originally Posted by jjgold
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08-31-14 12:06 PM #29
Guy should be benched for the rest of the year, no excuses
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08-31-14 12:11 PM #30
An Oregon player huh?
Why am I not surprised
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08-31-14 12:12 PM #31
'Sup Foggy? Originally Posted by foggyboy
Welcome to SBRland.
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08-31-14 12:18 PM #32
The answer may be found right here on SBR in another thread. Originally Posted by Slanina
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08-31-14 12:46 PM #33
Exactly what I was about to ask, lol. Also, your name means bacon in my language. Originally Posted by Slanina
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08-31-14 12:49 PM #34
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08-31-14 01:30 PM #35
I just wonder what the explanation is
You always hear oh they didn't have a father figure, poverty, racism, broken school system, society glorifies crime and violence, unstable home, etc. to explain behaviors
What could be the explanation for throwing the ball away before the goal line?
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