R.A. Dickey's book reveals sex abuse
Updated: March 27, 2012, 10:30 AM ET
By Adam Rubin | ESPNNewYork.com
PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- In a memoir due to hit bookstores later this week, New York Mets knuckleballer R.A. Dickey discusses finding a syringe in the Texas Rangers clubhouse in 2001 as well as the sexual abuse he dealt with as a child.
According to an excerpt published by Sports Illustrated, Dickey reveals that he felt disgust with the prospect of teammates cheating when he spotted the syringe. He made four appearances for the Rangers during the 2001 season, while primarily pitching for Triple-A Oklahoma City.
"The sight of it makes me cringe, the shiny thin needle lying randomly on the tile floor," Dickey writes in his autobiography, "Wherever I Wind Up," which is excerpted. "My mind races with thoughts about how and why it got there. I know as much about needles as I do about jewelry, but I'm pretty sure this isn't a sewing needle. I don't know if this syringe injected a Ranger with insulin or cortisone or B12 or anabolic steroids, though you can hazard a guess when you run through the roster of my muscle-laden teammates.
"I'd never seen a syringe in a baseball clubhouse before. I've not seen one since. It may have been used for the most benign of purposes, but the mere sight of it makes me feel as though I am looking straight at Evil -- like seeing a weapon somebody left behind at a crime scene."
Dickey also discusses being abused at the hands of a teenage babysitter as an 8-year-old. He concealed the abuse for another 23 years.
"The babysitter chucks the pillows and stuffed animals out of the way," Dickey writes. "She looks at me and says, Get in the bed. I am confused and afraid. I am trembling. The babysitter has her way with me four or five more times that summer, and into the fall, and each time feels more wicked than the time before. Every time that I know I'm going back over there, the sweat starts to come back. I sit in the front seat of the car, next to my mother, anxiety surging. I never tell her why I am so afraid. I never tell anyone until I am 31 years old."