Let the truth be known. Go ahead and rip me, judge me, I don't care anymore.

Truth is I probably deserve it.

I recently had a nice run where I won about 4 grand.

Gave most of it back, spent some and am left with nothing to write home about it yet again.

Yet thats not what Im even talking about.

Gambling has destroyed my relationships with family, friends, it destroyed everything I have and ate through everything I had like termites.

The sad thing is I still believe that if I stay disciplined I can win, and that keeps me possibly going. The life I am currently living is agony and misery masked in a constant state of action and denial.

This is too deep and too disturbing to tell anyone in person of course as noone could possibly ever understand us and what we go through except unless of course you are one of us.

Gambling is evil. Noone wins in the long run. You have a nice run and you will end up giving it all back. Its fukkin inevitable.

We all have a disease people. We were all born with a goddamn disease.